I am preparing now for a 40-day consciousness journey—A Journey of Worth. What do I need to learn about worth?
I have experienced a world that tells people worth is connected to the skills they have, what they can produce, the level of education they achieve (or don’t achieve), and how much money they make.
I am a bit of a rebel: I never did like others’ views of whom or what I am, what I am capable of, or what I am “worth” in this sense. So I chose skill-less jobs, produced nothing of worldly value, eschewed my education, was even almost penniless for a time. And I was happy. Very, very happy.
I was a student of life, and a blissful learner; for, what I was learning was life itself. The fullness of being, the connectedness with others, the inestimable worth of the service provided just to be available to help another in need, the joy of freedom, not bound to rules I did not make.
For many years, it seems the lesson I was learning was to be “in the world, yet not of it”; participate on the edge, in a way that was just beyond the entanglement of the belief that worth is dependent on skills, productivity, education, or money, learn about those things without being trapped by them, and pick up skills along the way.
Then, it was as though life said, “Now you are ready for your next lesson. It’s time for you to go deeper into the world. Can you take what you have learned and remain not of it?” [In addition to this, there came a feeling, a prodding, perhaps also from Life itself, that said, “You are more than this; you have more than this to give. Get on with it.”]
That was the push into my current learning cycle. I returned to school, enrolled in a Ph.D. Program; I received a job that I loved at a major university, in the Department of Student Life; I taught classes and remained in a state of Joy throughout, connected with Life, feeling I was on my path of Purpose. From there, things only got better. I was offered a position in an area more connected with my personal interests, with a significant raise in pay, under the direction of a man who had worked with Nelson Mandela. I earned my Ph.D. in an “average” amount of time, despite working full-time all the while.
Life had upped the stakes as if saying: “Now you are really in the world. I challenge you to remain not of it.”
It has been a challenge.
Participation in the world—through job, money, people, technology, media—means being exposed to (inundated by) thoughts and beliefs that are not my own. The two words that come to mind are “bombarded” and “entangled”. Around every corner, on every screen, there is an opinion, a suggestion, a recommendation. These are just other people’s interpretations of the world and how best to live in it. Opinions distract me from my own thoughts, my own opinions about how best to live this life—in, yet not of, the world, including the opinion of others. My ideas become entangled with those opinions, suggestions and recommendations because, being bombarded, there is so much to sort out! My filters get clogged and my own ideas can’t get through; I can’t sort out the dross from the gold, the chaff from the wheat. It’s all just stirring together inside my head.
This is why a Journey of Worth. My worth is not derived from my job, how much money I make, and the status that I have (or don’t have—there is always someone with a better job, more money, a higher social/education/class status). My participation with these worldly things on a deeper level than ever before has challenged me to deny their worth, deny their bombardment, deny their entangling influence, and establish my worth (despite their influence) on my Love, Joy, Service, and my Self.
Thus, I declare:
I deny the trappings of the world.
I deny the opinions of others about who I am and my worth to them or the world.
I have forgotten my Self. I have forgotten who I am. I have forgotten that I was established in Love and by Love, which is infinite and eternal; therefore, my worth is infinite and eternal.
I seek to remember my Self. I choose to remember my Self.
I choose to remember who I am and my infinite worth in Love.
I choose to be aware, to understand, and to Know myself (my Self) as the Love I am.
I choose to share who I am with the world, giving my infinite worth, measured in infinite Love.
I commit to a daily practice of Guiding Thoughts (contemplation) and writing for 40 days. I commit to opening my awareness, developing my understanding, and accepting (allowing) my Knowing of the Truth of my Self and my worth.
I dedicate this journey to All; for, Knowing Infinite Love is incomplete without everyone’s remembering.