A Journey of Worth: Day 34

Copyright Tam Black 2013 Designed for susanwithpearls.com
Copyright Tam Black 2013
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

For more information about this journey see this article . For an introduction, see this article .

Guiding Thought

My worth is inestimable, beyond compare! As I give, I learn, allowing Joy and Peace to lead and to guide me. I follow willingly for I know: Where there is Joy and Peace, there is Love; where there is Love, I am; where I am, I am giving my inestimable worth.

Sharing

My worth is inestimable, beyond compare! How can anyone put a value on Wholeness and Joy? As I give I learn, because in giving, my Self merges in my consciousness with myself. My self comes to know my Self as Joy and Peace. I am always giving my inestimable worth, whether I know it or not. The Love that I am is always coming through me. When Joy and Peace lead me that is when it’s easy to recognize the expression of my Self. But my Self is always expressing… always expressing Love and Peace. It’s just that I don’t always experience it that way. But I want to. I want Love, Joy, and Peace to be my experience. I want to follow Love, Joy, and Peace because that is what I want in my experience. But how can I place a value on Love, Joy, and Peace? It’s not about me placing a value on them; it is that Love, Joy, and Peace are simply inestimably valuable! Beyond compare! I learn that as I give too.

A Journey of Worth: Day 33

Copyright Tam Black 2013 Designed for susanwithpearls.com
Copyright Tam Black 2013
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

For more information about this journey see this article . For an introduction, see this article .

Guiding thought

I know my Self when I share my Self. As I give my Self, I see my Source returned to me. All that is Whole, all that is Beauty, all that is Holy, reflects back to me in the Joy of Being, in the brilliance of Life, in the Unity of Self. I choose to share only the Self of Beauty, Wholeness, and Joy, that I may Know my Self as Beauty, Wholeness, and Joy.

Sharing

Today I started thinking about the progression of the Guiding Thoughts. It is day 33, only the third day of the fourth round, here is what I have come up with so far. The summary:

  1. I’ve forgotten my Self–I choose to remember.
  2. Something in my (True) Self does remember.
  3. When I share, the part of me that has forgotten somehow remembers, or merges with the part of me that remembers.

One of my hang ups with this is that I don’t really know what it means to “share my Self” (“As I give my Self…”). How do I do this? Am I supposed to visualize some higher-self that I am “giving” or “sharing”? Am I supposed to think about light-love-kindness-compassion, and thereby know I am sharing my Self?

No.

Ah. It goes back to that “I was established in Love” thing. If I am Love, I don’t have to do anything to be it. In fact, if I do something to be it (or prove it), I am not being it. Being Love requires no action, no decision, and no effort. If I am making an effort to demonstrate that which I am naturally, then I am not being my Self naturally, am I?

OK… So I don’t have to do anything special?

Nope.

But…see…here’s the catch… How the hell does Love get through me?  I mean… I’m grumpy sometimes, sad sometimes, recently just pissy… how does love get through that? How is that “sharing” love?

Love is Love is Love is Love.

That’s not very helpful.

Oh… here’s another clue: “I choose to share only the Self of Beauty, Wholeness, and Joy”…It’s that “only” thing I’m not doing. I am sharing my Self of Love, but I’ve got this other crap mixed in with it.

Now you are catching on. Remember Rumi.

What do I do with myself, when I don’t share only my Self?

This has already been answered through this whole Journey:

  • Be patient and kind with yourself
  • Be willing to share your Self
  • Continue to find and pluck the weeds, burn the dross
  • Know and trust the part of you that Knows
  • Keep going

How do I know when I am sharing only my Self?

“…reflects back to me in the Joy of Being, the brilliance of Life, the Unity of Self.”  The rain still falls, the sun still shines, but you see them with new eyes, the eyes of Joy-Brilliance-Unity. 

A Journey of Worth: Day 32

Copyright Tam Black 2013 Designed for susanwithpearls.com
Copyright Tam Black 2013
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

For more information about this journey see this article . For an introduction, see this article .

Guiding Thought

I love myself for the Truth within me. The Truth within me Knows me for who I am—Pure Love, Only Love, beyond all valuing of the world. In Love all are equal, for we are One. This is how Truth Knows me—Pure, One, and Free. This is my Truth; this is our Truth; this is the Self I love.

Sharing

Reading the Guiding Thought today was much like reading a checklist. It was very matter of fact.

“I love myself for the Truth within me.” __

Yes, I can agree with that. I may not feel much; I may not know what I am doing but I can agree I do love myself, if for no other reason than for the Truth within me. There may not be much to love other than the Truth within me, but I can say for certain that I love myself for the Truth within me.

“The Truth within me Knows me for who I am–Pure Love, Only Love beyond all valuing of the world.”  __

Yes, I can agree with that too. I may not know me for who I am but I can agree that the Truth within me does. That is why it is the Truth within me–it knows me for the Truth of my Self. Again, I may not know me for who I am, but It does. It even Knows what “beyond all valuing of the world” means…because I sure don’t.

“In Love all are equal, for we are One”.  Hmmmmm… _/_ (that’s a half-check)

There is a little bit of a leap of logic on this one. It presumes I accept the premise Love=One(ness). I don’t like the fact of the presumption, but I don’t mind agreeing with the premise. So, since I agree with the premise that Love=One(ness), then I can also agree with the conclusion that all are equal in Love. Because if there is only One, then there are no comparisons of better/worse, so of course, all is equal. One equals one equals one. Check. 

“This is how Truth Knows me–Pure, One, and Free”. No check.

Why? I can neither confirm nor deny the fact or truth of this. I cannot say how Truth Knows me for certain. At this point it would be conjecture. I’m willing to think it probably is true but I honestly do not know, and reason/logic cannot ascertain its truth merely from this statement. The same goes for the final sentence. I cannot confirm or deny this is my truth, your truth, or our truth.

But…

I did confirm that I love myself for the Truth within me, and it knows me in a way I don’t know myself. Therefore, I am willing to accept Love knows me as Pure, One, and Free even if I do not know myself in these ways.

A Journey of Worth: Day 31

Copyright Tam Black 2013 Designed for susanwithpearls.com
Copyright Tam Black 2013
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

For more information about this journey see this article . For an introduction, see this article .

Guiding Thought

I have forgotten my Self. I have forgotten who I am. I have forgotten that I am established in Love and by Love, which is infinite and eternal; therefore, my worth is infinite and eternal. I seek to remember my Self. I choose to remember my Self. I choose to remember who I am and my infinite worth in Love. I choose to be aware, to understand, and to Know myself (my Self) as the Love I am. I choose to share who I am with the world, giving my infinite worth, measured in infinite Love.

Sharing

Do you know this Christian scripture? “Love is patient and kind; Love is not jealous or boastful…Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things”…. etc. I know I could Google it to get it exactly but I am just going by memory here, but you know which one I mean–I Corinthians or something…

With this in mind, I am contemplating the Guiding Thought. I realize: ANYtime I am not patient or kind, ANYtime that I am jealous or boastful, ANYtime I refuse (or choose not) to bear something (anything), I have forgotten my Self. Here’s the logic of that:

If I am established in and by Love and

If Love is those things assigned to it by I Corinthians

Then, if I am not those things (laid out in I Corinthians), I have forgotten my Self.

It’s not that I am not Love, because once established in Love and by Love, it’s a done deal. Love is Love is Love is Love is Love. So if I am impatient or unkind, it is something other than Love, but since Love is what I am then I am still Love, I have just forgotten. (“Just” forgotten, meh.)

“I choose to be aware, to understand and to Know myself as the Love I am”. And when I do, I am patient and kind naturally–as Love’s true expression, as the expression of who I am–Love.

Love does not need to be cultivated. Why would something infinite and eternal need to be cultivated, as though you can grow it more or make it bigger?

Love is. Everywhere. Always.

If Love is not the experience, it’s not because there is not Love. It’s something else–I say forgetfulness.

I feel angry at myself for forgetting my Self. There’s a part of me that understands the tradition of lashing oneself for sins committed (I was raised Catholic, can you tell?), the “sin” of forgetting one’s Self, in this case.

But that doesn’t make much sense either, does it? Punishing yourself for forgetting your Self is not Love… and therefore, it’s something else, and it seems like a potentially vicious cycle, all aimed at remaining forgetful. What manner of ploy is this!!?

The answer is simple. (“Simple“, meh.) Remember! Love! Be! (or) Remember! Be Love! (or) Love, Remember your Being!

Instead of feeling the pain of self-punishment, let me instead be patient and kind with myself, by offering a nudge. A gentle, tender nudge: You are established in Love. You are established by Love. Love holds you dear. Just remember, and offer your Self of Infinite Love to the world, that all may be reminded of who they are, in Love.

A Journey of Worth: Day 30

Copyright Tam Black 2013 Designed for susanwithpearls.com
Copyright Tam Black 2013
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

For more information about this journey see this article . For an introduction, see this article .

Guiding Thought

If I am to be my Self in the world, I must be for others as well as myself. There is no other.

I am willing to be receptive to the Infinite Love of All. I am willing to understand how I must rise above the struggles and pains of the world. I am willing to rise again and again with each call for help, each outstretched hand. I am willing to be the one to choose to change. I offer my pain, suffering, guilt, and blame up for transformation, into the light of Love that I may see and give only the light of Love always.

Sharing

Sometimes people use the term “lower consciousness” or “unconscious” to refer to worldly centered thinking. Worldly thinking is most often characterized by its dualistic nature (“better-worse”, “right-wrong”, “inner-outer”), which arises from the sense perceptions that constantly filter and compare all of the data we receive then sift into known categories. The term “higher-consciousness” refers to thinking that revolves around Love, Unity, Divine Will, etc.

Notice, that even the terms “lower consciousness” and “higher consciousness” fit the characterization of worldly thinking, as they are characterized by duality: lower opposed to higher. The goal is ultimately to transcend the dualistic nature. This has been a perpetual conundrum for seekers of the Divine: how does one use words to explain or describe the inexplicable and indefinable? But I digress.

Until we return to the Unity which we are (and have never really left), there are tools that help us remember that which we are. Words, despite their limiting nature, are one of those tools.

The point of these Consciousness Journeys is to use words to take the consciousness (my consciousness, your consciousness) from a “lower” state—one that dwells in a barrage of sense-data—to a “higher” state—one that dwells in Oneness and Love. “Journey” of course is metaphor that plays on the need to take steps to arrive at a destination; our destination is Awakening to our Oneness, and our steps are the Guiding Thoughts.

Having been a hiker for many years in the Sierra Nevada Mountains, I picture my Consciousness Journey as a long hike through the mountains. On a hike, walking—one step at a time—is the method of propulsion. On the Consciousness Journeys, the Guiding Thoughts are the method of propulsion. A literal step can be small or large, and this is like spending 5 minutes or 15 minutes with the Guiding Thought. The more effort exerted the more progress on the journey.

But then there is the terrain. On a hike there can be flat, rocky, hilly, grassy, brushy, dense forest, steep-sloped, wet, or dry terrain—and more! There can be any combination of all of these. The terrain on a hike, in addition to the weather, the time of day, the time of year all contribute to the progress on the journey. You have an inner terrain that influences your progress on the journeys. Your inner terrain consists of the obstacles and barriers you have built to Knowing Love, your emotions, your patterns, and habits of thought, your choices, your preferences, your memories. Like the terrain on a hike, these things are neither good nor bad; they are just things you experience on the journey. You may not enjoy the steep climb, but you take a deep breath, strengthen your resolve and do it to get to the top; you may not enjoy flushing out anger, but you prepare yourself, be receptive to change, and encourage yourself along the way to get through it.

Sometimes the terrain is flat and easy to walk. Sometimes your inner terrain is even, calm, and balanced, with easy contemplation of the Guiding Thoughts and easy writing. Sometimes the hike takes you up a scree hill—where, on the slippery, deep shale pieces, you literally take two steps forward, one step back (or slide down). Sometimes in your inner terrain it feels like you are going slowly, not making any progress, not doing any good.

It’s all part of the journey.

Sometimes the consciousness is not ready to move forward. Sometimes it likes the comfort and predictability of worldly thinking—what it is familiar with, where it feels safe. Change can frighten your consciousness, just like a near vertical rock-face can frighten a hiker. Every movement can be frightening, especially if you are afraid of heights (of the consciousness kind, or off-the-ground kind).

My consciousness has been frightened much of this journey. The vertical rock face is a pretty good metaphor. I like climbing, but there have been times when I have been paralyzed by not knowing quite where to put a foot or a hand, or which direction will be the safest in 3 or 4 moves. That is how it has felt a lot on this journey. I have felt paralyzed, afraid to move, afraid to make a decision, afraid to go higher, not knowing where I am safe, or where I will be safe. It has left me feeling hopeless and helpless, defeated and despairing. But when you are on a rock face, it is just as dangerous to go back down, as it is to keep moving forward. So what do you do? You breathe. You rest. You wait until the fear passes…then you move a little bit.

That is how I have been doing this journey. Just breathing, resting, waiting, and moving in small, small bits. I have had to remind myself of my own advice: “every bit matters, every drop counts”. So I have been going through the journey drop by drop.

And this is why the Guiding Thought today has been so very refreshing. I realized I am willing to be receptive; I am willing to understand how I must rise above the struggles and pains of the world; I am willing to rise again and again with each call for help, each outstretched hand. The neat thing about this today is it’s not saying I have to actually DO anything. I don’t have to be there—be receptive, be understanding; I don’t have to actually rise above…. I just have to be willing to. And I am.

 

A Journey of Worth: Day 29

Copyright Tam Black 2013 Designed for susanwithpearls.com
Copyright Tam Black 2013
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

For more information about this journey see this article . For an introduction, see this article .

Guiding Thought

I extend the Love that I am, for that is all I truly am. As I learn to be aware, to understand, and to Know my own will as Love, and make choices according to that will, my life experiences become worthy of me. Expressing my Self that is wholly Love and United with All is the only choice that is worthwhile. It is the only thing that brings me satisfaction, the only choice that allows me to experience my Self—the Love that I am. My-your-our- freedom depends on my right choices, depends on my choosing what is worthy and what is not; it depends on me, depends on you, depends on us.

Sharing

Rumi said, “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”

I have been thinking a lot about this quote while being on this Journey. I wonder about how I can be an advocate for the Guiding Thoughts that I write, while still having so many obstacles, so much confusion, and so much uncertainty. How do I know what I am talking about? Am I not being hypocritical? I worry. Congruence, integrity, accurate representation…these things are all important to me, but from the outside might it appear that I am full of shit?

Well.

I have two responses to myself on that…maybe three.

First, there are lots of examples of wisdom quotes about not judging others or about walking in someone else’s shoes; I take these to heart. Daily, it occurs to me how I will never ever understand one single experience of someone else, much less someone else’s whole life, and how this moment or that moment “fits” in. This is one of the points in my personal code of ethics (which so far has only been written in my head); others have to live by their own code of ethics. I can’t tell anyone what their code of ethics should be. So, maybe I am full of shit, but I come by it honestly—I really am striving toward my own ideal of Love; I don’t always understand (in fact, rarely!), but I do assess, evaluate, strive, grapple, fumble, fall, get up, and move forward. I do the best I can do.

Second, another principle that I choose to advocate, that is reflected at times in my writing and in the Guiding Thoughts, is that a person learns to Know through sharing. What this means is if I keep things to myself, I never see how they manifest in the world, never see what happens when I interact in certain ways with other people, situations, circumstances. I learn as I share my Self; I learn to be my Self. In this also, I assess, evaluate, strive, grapple, fumble, fall, get up, and move forward. Maybe that should be the tagline for this journey. The point is that learning is a process; if I knew, I wouldn’t have to learn. In the school of transcendence, I am in kindergarten, but happy to be on the way to Knowledge.

Third…some part of me came up with these Guiding Thoughts. Some part of me holds these things as valuable, as true, as real. That “part” of me is me. It may not be the me I experience throughout the day, but it is the me I want to experience throughout the day (hence, “learning”).  I am sharing that part of myself so I can learn that part better. These Journeys are, at their core, about learning who I am—and (see above), I do that through sharing.

More than this though…back to the Rumi quote at the beginning: I am also sharing the obstacles, the barriers, I have constructed for myself that prevent me from Knowing me. My hope is you will be encouraged in your own journey to your Self to dismantle the barriers within you. I believe in You, as I do in my Self.

A Journey of Worth: Day 28

Copyright Tam Black 2013 Designed for susanwithpearls.com
Copyright Tam Black 2013
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

For more information about this journey see this article . For an introduction, see this article .

Guiding Thought

I am worth the effort it requires to move my mind to Love. I am worth the time of waiting, in patience, for Knowing to arrive. Every moment, every second that I open to simply being willing for Love to enter is a moment offered to Eternity; a moment offered to healing, a moment offered to Unity.

Love does not announce itself with trumpets and cymbals. It simply settles slowly, quietly, gently, beyond sense-perception. So I must wait in patience and take the effort to move my mind to join the quiet stillness of Love. Here I rest. Here is Peace. Here is all I want and need.

Sharing

I needed this Guiding Thought today! It is so reassuring. Every drop matters. Like carving marble; progress happens very, very slowly. But each little action toward the end result – of the hammer and chisel or of intention and application—moves the whole that much, that bit, closer to the end, the ideal, the outcome, the work of art.

This Guiding Thought feels so supportive today, like someone is cheering me on, like someone is keeping me on track; someone is telling me that I am going the right direction, and that all is well.