Knowing Altruism…purely. Journey of Healing: Day 21

Copyright Tam Black 2013 Designed for susanwithpearls.com
Copyright Tam Black 2013
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

Welcome to day one of round 3! How are you doing?

We start again with “forgetting” past notions of healing, and beginning to remember from a new starting point, which we have built over the past 20 days. With each round you release a little bit more of your made-up ideas and accept, a little deeper, the ideas of Wholeness. If you are doing just minimal work, with small dedication, your commitment is aiding you to get through the constructs and barriers you have built which inhibit the understanding of Wholeness. Keep going! Every little bit of your practice adds a drop to my bucket; our work enhances each other, all dedication that you give affects so much more than you. We only heal together. We heal only together. Are you ready for the next round?

I clear my mind of all past notions of what I think healing is. All memories and stories I erase from my thoughts, leaving only a clean slate. I turn my attention to my Inner Divine Mind and I ask, “What is healing”? And I wait and listen. In silence, I take my attention deeper into the vastness of Divine Mind and ask again, “What is healing?” and “What is wholeness?” and “What is holy?” And I wait and I listen. Feeling stillness, I simply pause in the quiet and await my answer.

This round begins by asking me to clear my mind of all past notions of what healing is. That means I have to clear my mind of what I think I have learned over the past 3 weeks regarding healing. I must clear away thoughts of Oneness, of Unity, of acceptance, because (perhaps) even these thoughts are mingled with thoughts of expectation or criticism or worldly wants.

I am feeling it hard to let go of the past 3 weeks—I’ve worked so hard! Don’t I now have something that I can use to push forward? Why must I just drop everything and start from scratch? That is like saying there was no value to the past 20 days…that I gained nothing.

I respond to my own questioning in two ways:

First, if I feel this way about the past 20 days and am finding it hard to let go…then maybe…just maybe, I feel that way about what I have learned in the past 20 years. What I know, what I have made of myself, everything that I have learned in the past 20 years, cannot be reduced to being “erased”, can it? Doesn’t it mean something? Don’t I mean something? Yet…none of it…none of it was pure; none of it was learned in Full Truth, none of it was gained without the adulteration of selfishness or ignorance or clouded emotion (on some level); none of it was altruistic: All True-istic (yes, I believe that there is such a thing as altruism, but…more on that another time; it’s a big subject). So, yes, letting go of what I have learned is OK. Because what is pure will continue, what is tainted will be removed as I continue the effort of intention toward purity.

Second, I am reminded of the Buddhist practice of creating sand mandalas. Monks spend hours and days using multi-colored sand to make elaborate artwork. It is ritualistic; they pray, they chant; each color, each image has meaning; each grain of sand matters in the outcome. When it is complete, it is ritualistically swept away. With their hands, they “destroy” the mandala, brushing the sand together in piles and carrying it off. One of the meanings of this ritual is a reminder of the impermanence of worldly things. At the moment, in the context of the Journey of Healing, I am thinking about the monks gently placing grains of sand where they belong, muttering prayers and chants as they do, knowing that in a few days the effort will be swept away. The lesson for me in this is that it is the effort in the moment that matters: What do you bring to this Journey right now? What are you putting into it? This moment is all that matters; the past (all your learning) does not matter; tomorrow’s “results” do not matter. Be focused now, give altruistic intention now, give dedication now.

And so, with renewed enthusiasm, I choose my mind to be a clean slate. I do not know what healing is; anything that I have taught myself about healing, I lay aside that my thoughts may be purified, that I may know healing in Truth, not in the architecture that I have so proudly constructed. I intend to Know in the purity of the Light of Divine Love; I dedicate this to you, and to All.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s