I decide today to be aware of my Whole and Holy Self working within me, expressing through me. As I move through the affairs of my life, with an open mind and empty hands, I look first to my Whole and Holy Self for guidance. My only decision today is to be aware of my Whole and Holy Self—all other decisions arise out of this, in conjunction with my Self.
This guiding thought requires my participation throughout the day. This is not a one-time today thing. This is all day, every moment, as much as I can remember to do it thing.
This guiding thought is practice in two things: a) awareness and b) letting my Whole Self lead. It asks of me focused, consistent, concentrated, attentive awareness. And it asks me to acknowledge my Whole Self first before making decisions—“running it by” my Whole Self, so to say.
So I think about how this might go. First, I visualize my Whole Self within me, working through me (I’m finding the visualization from 2 days ago helpful); I clear my mind of preconceptions and expectations…and I look to my Whole Self about….what?
This kind of became my sticking point. It’s not that I don’t want to look to my Whole Self throughout the day, but what decisions are “right” to run by my Self? Most of my daily decisions are so trivial: Do I take that way to work this morning or this way? Shall I have coffee now…or later…or not at all? What do I say to this person in this email about the timeliness of our work?
All of the scenarios I come up with (and I am following the visualization, and offering these scenarios up to my Whole Self as I imagine my day) seem so unimportant. They are decisions I make routinely every day. I know how to get to work, I know whether or not I want coffee, and I know how to do my job—why in the world do I want to run these oh-so-trivial activities past my Whole Self? It’s not as if I have any big decisions ahead of me—my days are rather ordinary, predictable, and mundane.
But then….maybe that’s the point…
Maybe this is warm-up. Maybe this is practice. Maybe this is my Whole Self getting me familiar with it, letting me know it’s there for me through thick and thin, by starting with the thin. Maybe it’s working with me… within my routine, within my own comfort zone, in order that my routine may then incorporate my open-mind-empty-hands looking to my Whole Self more easily. Then when there is something out of the ordinary, something that potentially throws me off, something that might hinder my healing progress, I will already be accustomed to offering it to my Whole Self. It won’t be a big stretch, just a little one. So in that moment of stress, when I (otherwise routinely) might respond with antagonism, hostility, or impatience…instead maybe I will ask my Whole Self to lead and be able to respond with patience and kindness.