I am light. My body is light. I am free. I know my fulfillment: I feel it rise within me, expand out from me.
Like many things in the realm of God, the meaning of the word fulfillment goes beyond words or rational understanding. It’s like I have a sense of it (as yesterday’s article attests), yet even with all those words and definitions, there is something more.
What is the more?
Again, I have some words, ideas, and definitions. And again, those are insufficient.
The more of fulfillment is letting go—really letting go, trusting in life, trusting God, trusting my Self, and trusting myself.
When I think about it, I say, “of course I trust God; of course I trust my Self (the Self who Knows).” Then I realize it is myself that leaves me in doubt.
This makes sense to me. Myself is the part of me that is so close (indeed—IN) the immediacy of the material world, so the physical world surrounds me all the time. I can’t get out of it. Even the dead remain in it, in a different form.
The physical world holds my attention and it takes a real effort to move my attention to the non-physical. Then it takes more effort for the non-physical to hold my attention. Then it takes more effort for me to see/understand the effects of the non-physical in the physical world.
With all that effort, it makes sense that I can doubt or that I do not rely on the self-of-me that is making that effort.
[Two quick notes about this phrase, the self-of-me that is making that effort: a) I would like to acknowledge the possibility that there is no self at all, that the self, the “ego” identity, is an illusion (as in some philosophies and/or religions) b) I’d like to point out that there are ways to ease this effort (whether or not you believe in the self as real or as an illusion)—like the practices of earth, air, water, fire, mind, and Love.]
Which brings me back to the letting go…
Since I know I trust God, and I know I trust my Self, it is the self that is so close to the material world that I need to let go. I need to let go the effort, let go the struggle, let go the need to see/understand, and decide to give my attention to my Self; decide to listen, decide to trust (after all, I say I do trust, right!?)
OK. That was part of the what is the more. What else?
Fulfillment is freedom.
But I don’t mean freedom like “I can go anywhere, do whatever I want” kind of freedom.
Fulfillment’s freedom is more like lightness, absence of cares, worries, or burdens. How would it feel to have “not a care in the world”? That’s part of it.
How would it feel if I didn’t have bills to pay, always knew I would have food when I am hungry, always know everything is just taken care of? That’s part of it.
How would it feel if my body always felt expansive, supple, and flexible?
How would it feel if I were just content all the time? Really content and happy and satisfied… all the time?
Here’s the thing: I have raised the quality of my thoughts as I have worked on letting go the self of me that is invested in the physical world (refer to above). As I have learned to listen, connect with, and be directed by God, through my Self, I have experienced what I am describing as freedom—I have been Light and carefree and expansive…I know how this feels, and it is blissful! Can you think of a time when you have felt this way?
So why don’t I feel it all the time? Why don’t I feel it all the time, even after 25 years of doing the work of unraveling and letting go? Because there must be a lot to do! But it’s great to see progress and be optimistic about what is possible.
This is the work now; these journeys are the work, and the reason I share them. I have glimpsed, I have felt, I have been—for moments-hours-days—in a state of blissful freedom of joy and peace and gratitude, that I know is accessible to everyone.
I want that experience more…and more…and more. And I want it for you too.
I want you to Know fulfillment beyond words, to experience it so deeply that you have no words. I want you to feel my words as more than words—as who you are: the essence of fulfillment.