All Questions. No Answers. A Journey of Fulfillment: Day 22

Copyright Tam Black 2014 Designed for susanwithpearls.com
Copyright Tam Black 2014
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

We now invite, welcome, and receive the effects of Divine Love now… and are truly grateful.

We experience Divine Mind as we experience these effects.

We allow Divine Presence to confirm itself in our lives, activities, and affairs.

 

 

Throughout this journey, I have felt a gap -a disconnect- between my experience and “the experience of fulfillment.”

The first response to this is “duh”. Isn’t filling the gap the whole point of being on this journey? I’ve been having a lot more “duh” moments than “ah-ha” moments lately.

If nothing else, the gap serves to keep me striving. I just saw a quote that said, “It’s not how bad you want it, it’s how hard you want to work for it.” How hard do I want to work for fulfillment? And what about the whole thing, about already being fulfilled?

The paradoxes press upon me today. If I am already fulfilled, why do I feel this way?

Is it that I am imposing my own idea of fulfillment onto the “real” fulfillment, and so missing it entirely? Am I fulfilled and just don’t know it?

It’s like my mind has this idealized version of what life should be like and my life falls short. But that’s just it… my life is really good. I love my family. I love my residence; I have great friends; I love my job (with some qualifiers). I eat enough. I am healthy. People support and love me. Why in the hell am I dissatisfied? Why do I not feel fulfilled? This truly, truly perplexes me.

I am very grateful…. and yet…there’s something….more.

I am very happy….and yet… there’s something more.

I am very prosperous….and yet…there’s something more.

Do people in general feel this way? I feel so fortunate, my life is so good, and yet…there’s something more. If I feel this way, how do other people feel, who don’t feel as fortunate as I do? There’s no way to know, I know. I just wonder. Feel free to comment, help me out.

I watched a movie a few weeks ago called “Sita Sings the Blues” (watch it here). It is an animated version of the Indian classic book, the “Ramayana”. Bear with me. The ultra-simplified story line is: Man (Ram) and woman (Sita) fall in love and are married; Ram is good, true, and wise, Sita is virtuous, loyal and generous. Other man kidnaps Sita for her beauty; Ram must rescue his wife, and enlists the help of Hanuman. Thanks to Hanuman, wife is rescued.

The important character for this article is Hanuman.

Hanuman (center), Sita (right), and Rama (left) Artist unknown
Hanuman (center), Sita (right), and Rama (left)
Artist unknown

There is a line from the movie that has stuck with me. The narrative characters were discussing some of the lore/legend of the story, and they remark that (paraphrased), “the only reason for Hanuman to be born was to meet Ram and to rescue Sita.”

The only reason. The only reason.

So Hanuman lived his life basically waiting for that moment and that situation. Did he feel restless, unfulfilled, wondering what he was “supposed to be doing” while he was waiting? Did he know he was waiting? Did he know that every moment leading up to that moment was crucial to that moment? Was his life pre-designed to meet up with Ram? Did his choices matter? Could he have screwed it up, so that he and Ram never met and he never rescued Sita? [Images of parallel universes in my head] What can I learn from this?

Are people fulfilling a purpose moment to moment, whether they know it or not?

A “yes” answer to this question feels very re-assuring.

 

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