What is Enlightenment, After All? A Journey of Fulfillment: Day 31

Copyright Tam Black 2014 Designed for susanwithpearls.com
Copyright Tam Black 2014
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

Everywhere Fulfillment is, I am. Fulfillment is everywhere. Fulfillment is. I am.

We are on the last round! How have you done? I guess it is self-assessment time. How have I done? How am I doing? Quite frankly, at the moment, I want to give up. Phooey with this 40 day thing—I want to be done. What exactly is the point? I am giving myself a pep talk as I write. “You know every drop counts. Every day that you stick with it is a building block upward in the spiral to enlightenment. It doesn’t matter if it’s a tiny drop. That drop says to your little-self, ‘I want more. I am more.’ And with every drop your little self loosens its hold just a little bit and you rise just a little bit.”

If I stop, I lose the momentum, the inertia that I have been building for the past 30 days. But OH, the climb is tedious sometimes. What is the point again? Have I really gained any ground?

That’s actually a good question. Have I gained any ground, and how do I know?

Before I started this journey, I noted, “I don’t want my fulfillment to be contingent on, reliant on, dependent upon some external factor—a situation, another person, a Job, etc. I do want Fulfillment to be. Fully. I want my entire consciousness to Know the Truth of being Fulfilled, of being whole, and therefore encounter every experience or person from an internal knowingness of my own (and everyone’s) total-perfect-completion.”

Now that I am thinking about it (self-assessment is good) and looking at where I began, I think I am doing ok. It just feels like I am slugging along. I definitely have gotten closer to being aware of fulfillment and to understanding what it is. This has happened, I think, just in the past week or so, and would have been impossible without feeling lost the week prior to that. I have been making a lot of connections between Oneness and reaching out to others in equality. But what really do these things have to do with fulfillment? What do Oneness and equality have to do with fulfillment?

This is one reason that I find these journeys so fascinating. Somehow, I am not ready to just dive into fulfillment. There is something I need to learn before I can learn what I came here to learn. So I am learning about Oneness and equality, through the lens of fulfillment. When I have learned these concepts sufficiently, I will be able to approach fulfillment from a new place, with better understanding. These are not linear processes. They are more like building blocks, Lego blocks, Tinker Toys, Lincoln Logs…pie pieces. Each piece interconnects with another. I build different components out of certain pieces, and then fit the components together into a larger structure. But within each individual component can be micro-components of any of the other building blocks.

Copyright Susan Billmaier 2014
Copyright Susan Billmaier 2014

This is a quick rendition of the idea. This will need to be refined as I move forward. Each piece of the “pie” has one primary word that corresponds to each Journey: Healing, Purpose, Wealth, Fulfillment, etc. Each piece is an aspect of the larger Journey of Enlightenment; each aspect expands the consciousness toward enlightenment. While I build my consciousness of Fulfillment, I am also gaining an understanding of the components that comprise fulfillment, like oneness, joy, sharing, equality. I am understanding oneness, joy, sharing, and equality through Fulfillment, and at the same time understanding Fulfillment through oneness, joy, sharing, and equality. Their relationship is reciprocal and interconnected. When I build my consciousness of equality, I will then have a better understanding of how fulfillment supports equality, which also includes the aspects of sharing, oneness, and joy. Have you heard this story ? (A picture is worth a thousand words)

Cartoon originally copyrighted by the artist, G. Renee Guzlas.
Cartoon originally copyrighted by the artist, G. Renee Guzlas.

Think of the elephant as “enlightenment”. Each of the different parts of the elephant corresponds to the “pie pieces” above—fulfillment, equality, love, healing, etc. I am ALL of the blindfolded people, going from spot to spot trying to figure out what the heck it is. Each time I get a different piece, I add that to my total understanding. I go around and around, feeling here, testing there, putting the pieces together, each time with new information… I don’t think the blindfold is too inaccurate, either. What, really, is enlightenment, after all?

Being Light. A Journey of Fulfillment: Day 30

Copyright Tam Black 2014 Designed for susanwithpearls.com
Copyright Tam Black 2014
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

We are light.

Our Bodies are light.

We are free.

We know fulfillment and can feel it rise within and expand out.



What is the significance of light? What do I gain by perceiving myself as light?

If I think of myself as light, I distinguish myself with an identity that is expansive. Where can light not go? Where can light not reach? It can go anywhere; it can fill anything. Even “solid” objects have so much space between their molecules that light can go there. There is even space within the space within the electrons and protons of the molecules. Light can expand infinitely in all directions.

Thinking of myself as light, while also thinking of my body as light, distinguishes “me” from my body. My identity itself can be seen as the part of me that is bounded (my body) and the part of me that is infinite (my mind). Yet, if all is light, I am still the same. Whether body or mind, I am light.  I exist as light; I am encompassed by light; I experience light. All is light.

Having the sensation of being light is like being transported beyond yourself. It is a momentary (or lengthy, if you are lucky!) experience of freedom…because there are no boundaries, there are no limits. Everything is possible. The body is no longer a barrier; the mind has expanded to encompass All.

In this expansion, I experience uniting with All, joining with All in the experience of Oneness. I have relinquished the idea of limiting my mind; I have let go of the idea of separation; I am Whole, because I am One with everything.

Knowing myself as One invites the feeling that made this possible; I welcome love in my experience. This is fulfillment. Here is peace.

Why would I limit my identity to something other than this? Why would I limit my Self? In these sensations of boundlessness, I gain more of my sense of Self. I release more barriers to my Self. I perceive myself, and my body, as beyond the physical. My awareness expands.

Limitations recede. I am my Self. I melt into my Self, expanding out from myself. I am fulfilled with my Self.




Enacting Oneness. A Journey of Fulfillment: Day 29

Copyright Tam Black 2014 Designed for susanwithpearls.com
Copyright Tam Black 2014
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

May those who seek, help others find;

May those who sorrow, be compassionate;

May those who are lost, light a path for another;

May those who question or doubt, give guidance;

May those who worry, lift the burden of another;

May those who hide, see their own light in the eyes of a stranger;

May we all give peace, no matter what.



There have been a lot of inter-connections for me from day-to-day on this journey. I have not experienced this degree of being able to link one day’s insights with another day’s insights. It’s kind of cool.

With today’s guiding thought, I have 3 insights that are extensions of previous days’ ruminations.

1)      Having thoughts ‘behind’ or ‘under’ external circumstances that unite the (otherwise random or disparate) circumstances (Day 25, Day 28)

2)      Seeing another’s interest as your own, or as equal to your own (Day 19)

3)      Uniting with another and extending that sense of Oneness (Day 19, Day 25, Day 27)


Today’s guiding thought seems to sum up all three of these ideas.

First, with the guiding thought, it is necessary to “have thoughts ‘behind’ or ‘under’ the external circumstances. What I mean by that is, I may not have the same reason as someone else to be sad, but we are both sad; I may not be worrying about the same things as someone else, but we are both worried; I may not feel the same doubt as someone else, but we both feel doubt. What’s underneath our sadness, worry, or doubt is that we are both experiencing sadness, worry, or doubt. We don’t experience it the same way, we may not even feel the same way, but we share something that we call “sadness”, “worry”, or “doubt”.

Often times, people unite in sadness (for example) because of similar external circumstances: each has lost a loved one or each has a terminal illness, etc. In these cases, the people involved can understand the situation, the circumstances, and “what you are going through”. And that understanding is very important.

It’s also good to remember, though, that when people feel sad (or worried or doubtful), sometimes they don’t need someone to understand; sometimes they just need someone to care.

Since pretty much everyone has at some point felt sadness, worry, doubt, fear, anxiety, angst, stress, etc., that alone qualifies them to care. Tapping into your own emotions to be able to care about someone else is tapping into an idea that is ‘under’ or ‘behind’ the given circumstance.

By recognizing the similarity of feeling, a bridge is built that unites two people through those feelings.

Second, after recognizing a similarity of feeling, it’s then possible to think, “I know how that person feels. I have felt sad. Because I have felt sad, I want to help that person through their sadness.”

When this thought occurs, you are seeing that person’s interest as equal to yours. You are not thinking, “Oh good, that person is sad, now I feel better” (although some people do think this way). You are thinking, “I know how much it sucks to be sad, and I want to help you.” Your sadness is the same; when you were sad, what helped you? What can you give to someone who is sad?

It can be hard to do this while you are sad, but that is precisely what the guiding thought asks of you. At the moment that you are most overwhelmed is precisely the moment to give to another person exactly what you wish someone would give to you, to help you.

(Note: it is not even necessary for the other person to be feeling sad, worried, doubtful, etc. for you to be feeling something and give them what you want. Even if someone is happy, if you feel sad or worried, give them generic encouraging words; tell them what you would want to hear in a neutral way. They don’t have to know it’s because you are feeling something.)

This is the ultimate way to demonstrate that you see someone else’s interests as equal to your own.

The reason it is the ultimate way to demonstrate this would be my third point above: because when you give to someone what you want for yourself, you are embracing Oneness. When you give to another, seeing that person as equal to you, in Oneness, you truly are giving to yourself.

The theory lies in the words, “we are One”. The reality lies in its practice. The guiding thought today tells us how to live the practice, enacting Oneness.


Bringing Meaning. A Journey of Fulfillment: Day 28

Copyright Tam Black 2014 Designed for susanwithpearls.com
Copyright Tam Black 2014
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

Motivation is a choice. Intention is a choice. Direction of will is a choice.

In Peace, listen for guidance so that all actions are motivated by joy, all intentions are love, and the direction of the will is simply to share Joy and Love.



Having a choice means that a choice is always being made, whether you know it or not. Busy, chaotic lives are full of activities that all are derived from some motivation, some intention.

I have to get up this morning; my motivation is I have to go to work. I have to go to work because I have a job to do; I have to do my job to pay my bills, buy food, and have a roof over my head.

I have to do this. I have to do that. I must go here. I must go there. I have to see this person, say that to this person. I have this errand to run, must pick that up over there, then I have to prepare for guests, meet people.

What’s the point? What’s the purpose?

When a motivation or intention is not determined beforehand, activities bear a very superficial meaning. The only meaning a trip to the grocery store has is to buy groceries. The only meaning that business meeting has is to appear fully alert and caring about the job at hand. The only meaning paying the rent has is that no eviction notice will come.

Isn’t there more to life than this?

Yes. When intention and motivation are chosen consciously you bring meaning to your life. Things, events, activities, interactions take the shape of what you bring to them in your intention and motivation.

All of those activities, without a conscious intention and motivation are single events occurring separately, having no relevance to each other. Trying to make sense of all those moments is like putting together a million-piece jigsaw puzzle without a picture of the final result.

But choosing an intention and motivation unites all of your activities under a single “header”, a single meaning and purpose. With this guiding thought, the uniting “headers” are Joy and Love.

Use every activity to serve your purpose of joy and love.

This does not mean you must be joyful and loving in every situation. It does mean that you do your best to use every situation in the service of joy and love.

This is why the guiding thought suggests, “In Peace, listen for guidance”. Consider this: if every situation is for your learning and growth, then the nature of every situation is that there is something you do not know. There is something to be attained through the situation.

The best way to attain is to open to learning, to accept that you do not know, and be willing to discover something about yourself that is supported by your own motivation (love and joy—or whatever parameter/lens/intention you choose).

Recently, I have been working with the phrase, “I am learning…”  It has really helped me to relax about what I am doing. It gives me permission not to know, while knowing that I am in a process of learning. It allows me to just rest without pressure.

“I am learning to breathe energy as well as air”; “I am learning to master my ability to heal”; “I am learning to master the physical universe with love and joy”; “I am learning to master food”; “I am learning to master money and a successful career that benefits all”.

I am glad I love learning. I have a long way to go!

Why I Do This. A Journey of Fulfillment: Day 27

Copyright Tam Black 2014 Designed for susanwithpearls.com
Copyright Tam Black 2014
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

Joy unifies! Accepting joy—acknowledging it, sharing it, and expressing it—heals us and all. To be wholly joyful means to be wholly love…means to be wholly your Self.


I go through intellectual understanding of the guiding thoughts. These are usually logical, rational, putting the pieces of the thoughts together in a way that “just makes sense”.

I go through emotional understanding of them, too. I think about how I feel about unity or fulfillment, I connect with my heart and try to feel love or oneness.

I see things in my life that make sense in the terms of the guiding thought. I do the “compare-contrast” exercise to decide what my intention is, and how I create more of that, and how to do less of the things that are less like my intentions.

For the most part, these kinds of things are mostly how I experience the guiding thoughts. I think, imagine, feel, decide, balance, adjust, and modify my thoughts and behavior as I am directed by my intention and the guiding thoughts. In this way, I support and encourage the experiences I want to have in my life activities.

But every once in a while, I get out of my own way, and really experience the guiding thought. I mean, I see it, I feel it, I understand it, I know its truth, I get it. I don’t know what I “do” for this to happen. Sometimes, it’s just like all of a sudden something shifts and I am seeing something new, feeling something that is solid and real and right.

Sometimes that feeling can last for several minutes. The last time I had an extended experience of this type was just over a year ago. I wrote about it here.

When it happens, it’s like my whole being is engulfed in the truth of everything that I talk about here. It’s pretty simply the reason I do what I do. It’s the reason I am here, the reason I strive, the reason I show my faltering and my doubts and the reason I share it all.

It’s amazing, those moments of peace, of light, of certainty, of warmth, of knowing, of JOY. They are so amazing that I just want to share them. I wish for you the experience of joy and love and oneness and connection.

I did not have a deep, prolonged, intense “one of these moments” today. It was more like I was on the edge of it—the wave tickling my toe, rather than surrounding me—but it was enough. With it, my new understanding was in how possible it all is. How real it all can be, when we step into it (which we are doing).

I saw how important the sharing, the giving, and the extending are. I saw how it all works together—loving life so much that all I want to do is create a fulfilling life; knowing how wonderful it is to be fulfilled, and wanting that for you, for everyone. I saw how wholeness supports unity, which supports love, which supports the flourishing of a lifestyle that supports wholeness and unity and love…as we share with each other and enrich each other.

This is why I do this. I want you to know the joy of fulfillment because it’s pretty darn amazing.

Momentum of the Tide. A Journey of Fulfillment: Day 26

Copyright Tam Black 2014 Designed for susanwithpearls.com
Copyright Tam Black 2014
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

Why would we choose to limit ourselves? To limit reality?

All reality is ours! It is ours to give.

In giving and sharing, Joy increases, expanding Love, expanding the experience of LIFE!



I don’t think people mean to be lost, but I think many are lost. Fumbling around in this world, people feel alienated and disconnected from other people, and feel fragmented within themselves. The response to this can comes out as feeling numb, despair, or hopelessness…or hostility, anger, and antagonism.

I don’t think people want to be lost, but I think they don’t know any better; they don’t know they are lost, or if they do know, they don’t know what to do about it.

People think, “This is just the way life is” or “This is just how I am” or “There is nothing I can do”.

For these people the statement, “Why would we choose to limit ourselves?” makes no sense. To them, there is no choice, this is just how life is; it is not something they can choose.

They drift in the tide of life, being carried wherever and however the tide takes them. Sometimes that means the equivalent of being beaten against rocks, sometimes being rolled around in waves, sucked under, having the sensation of drowning, sometimes being stranded on shore, stuck, just waiting for the next tide to come in.

For these people, there is no freedom. There is no joy. There is only an endless, unknown ocean, and the waiting and drifting.

I am not one of the people who have this experience of life, but I understand it. I understand it because—like them—I have felt caught up in the tide, being carried this way and that. I have felt defeated, wounded, numb, even hostile, and lost.

Unlike them though, I have spent my life learning how to be in it, experiencing it, and understanding my relationship to it; becoming familiar with the currents, the shallows, the waves, and the eddies.

Unlike them, I have not thought, “There is nothing I can do”. I have thought, “What can I do”? Then, I have listened and waited for the response.

A tide is really an accurate metaphor. Like a tide, life is just the momentum and inertia of your collected thoughts and information. People are caught up in a current of their own making, of their own design.

Learning to be in the tide, becoming familiar with its current is really just becoming familiar with yourself, learning your own thoughts, learning what you give momentum to.

When you begin to see that the tide of life is made up of the information and energy that you put into your consciousness, then you have a real choice.

The thought, “There is nothing I can do” gives momentum to the perception of not being able to do anything. When the experience of not being able to do anything comes along, it validates the thought, so that next time that person thinks, “There’s nothing I can do” there is even more momentum behind the thought.

The same is true of other thoughts, though as well. If I think, “What can I do?”, and I do something—anything—to adapt to the situation, to change my outlook, to change my attitude, to change my perspective, the momentum goes to active participation in flowing with the tide, rather than passive acceptance of “whatever”. I have the experience of being able to do something, and my confidence is strengthened for the next time.

Every thought carries momentum. Think of the momentum that builds up in someone’s life who thinks repeatedly, “There is nothing I can do”… Now think of the momentum that builds up in someone’s life who thinks repeatedly, “How can I help?”

A person who thinks this way probably also just feels stuck, immobilized. But they are anything but stuck and immobilized—they are actually totally swept up in a tide within their own consciousness! It’s not stuck…it’s moving with great force in a very concrete and determined direction—the direction of “There’s nothing I can do,” which gives them the experience of stuck and immobilized.

Once a person realizes this, they can begin to change the force and momentum of their thoughts, and change the direction of how they experience life. I’ll be going into this more in-depth in my book, but if you are reading this, you probably are already at least a little bit familiar with the idea.

We are only limited by how we think. Why would we choose to limit ourselves?

Reality, as experience, is only limited by our thoughts; all reality is ours. It is ours to give. We give freedom when we share the thought that freedom is possible for everyone. Everyone has the same capacity to choose their thoughts and experience a life they design. Who wouldn’t want to design a life of joy, love, and expansion?

The Flare in the Dark. A Journey of Fulfillment: Day 25

Copyright Tam Black 2014 Designed for susanwithpearls.com
Copyright Tam Black 2014
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

In Divine Mind, we are already filled full!

All are equally filled full. All are equal in Love.

Remember fullness; remember purpose.

Know your purpose; share your fullness.



I mentioned recently that on this journey I am experiencing many more “duh” moments than “ah-ha” moments. This past week, I had some interactions that gave me very small “ah-ha” moments. Those moments, though, are not like a brilliant flash of light that permeates my whole being…rather…it is like a distant flare in pitch black that is showing me a direction, but not much else.

I had two “interactions” this week with two people—let’s call them Jack and Jill. Jack is a person I would call my friend; he is “spiritual,” strives for serving humanity, is wise and loving. I trust Jack; I trust his intentions and motivations. Jill is not a person I would call my friend, but interaction with her is part of my life activity at this time. She is the kind of person who makes snide remarks behind people’s backs; she is always looking out for her own interests, and manipulating situations to serve her “self”; her way of demonstrating power/authority is to cut people down. I do not trust Jill or her intentions or motivations.

The specifics of the interactions I had with them are not relevant here; what is relevant is with both interactions, I went away from them wondering how to respond.

I’m not saying it meant my response was going to be directly to them. Rather, I questioned my internal response: what did these interactions mean? How was I going to interpret the interaction? What should my attitude be as a result? What does my decision about what it means say about me?

For both people, both situations, I had the same questions in mind.

I was able to look at the questions I was asking and compare/contrast them from my internal perspective toward someone I like and respect (a “friend”), and someone I don’t like and don’t respect (an “enemy”). The label I put on the person influenced the answers to the questions. That lit the flare in the dark.

Two things were highlighted for me: a) my own self-centeredness, b) my own pre-conceptions (also known as pre-judgments, also known as prejudices).

I don’t know if I would have been willing to see this, if I were not on a Journey of Fulfillment. I’ve been writing the past couple of days about Oneness and its relationship to fulfillment, in that time I’ve noted things like:

We are complete and healed and whole in Oneness, as is everyone.

We are one self, with one will, united within ourselves and between our selves.

What I want, at the level of Oneness, can only serve what you want.

Appearance is not the truth.

All of my evaluations of the two interactions were based on me—on my own self-centeredness, not on wholeness or oneness. These statements, these thoughts about oneness, remind me that there is no “I” as it appears in the interactions. Appearance is not truth. From a standpoint of Oneness, the interactions were equal; there is no “friend”, there is no “enemy”. The purpose, the goal, in each situation was Fulfillment.

[The how in “How does this serve fulfillment?” currently escapes me. I do not have that answer. I am still just processing the appearances, and asking this question.]

If I believe what I say; if I want to behave in a way that is congruent with my words, with my own philosophy, then I must begin to be aware of how I approach situations from a point of my self, instead of a point of unity. This is why it was a flare in the dark. I now have a glimmer of understanding for a new approach, a new attitude toward situations, and now I must go.

The second highlight I saw through this situation was how I pre-judged each person and each situation.

After I realized I was asking the same questions, but viewing each person (the “object” of the questions) differently, I saw that any answer I came up with was only a different shade of perspective. Perspective, like opinion, is just always incomplete. Perspective can always change. Perspective shifts. Perspective is not an answer. It’s a way of looking at something.

With each “answer” I got, I realized it was tainted with how I viewed each person—as “friend” or “enemy.” Thus each “answer” only validated a view that I already held. It was not an answer, it was only my own pre-conception looking back at me.

I also think this insight would not have been possible without being on a Journey of Fulfillment. It was just a few days ago that I was “perplexed”, asking questions like, “Are people fulfilling a purpose moment to moment, whether they know it or not?” and “Am I fulfilled and just don’t know it?”

Allowing myself to be perplexed, to ask these questions, and truly being ignorant of an answer opened the space for real answers. There were no pre-conceptions to feed.

The answers, however, were not an answer to my questions (my questions can’t have an answer; they can only have a perspective). The answer was in the form of a new awareness.

What do I want? Fulfillment. Joy. Purpose, which are born from Oneness, Love, Truth.

If those things exist through an awareness, understanding, and acceptance of Oneness and Unity, then I must expand my awareness of Oneness and Unity.

 All are equally filled full. All are equal in Love.

Remember fullness; remember purpose.


Beyond Appearance to Oneness. A Journey of Fulfillment: Day 24

Copyright Tam Black 2014 Designed for susanwithpearls.com
Copyright Tam Black 2014
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

Our Self wills only to extend itself. Extending, sharing, creating as Divine Love, through Divine Mind, is our sole purpose. Our Self knows its fullness in Divine Love and wills only to liberate us, to fulfill our purpose, and release our Joy.



Again today, we are working with the seemingly paradoxical idea of “the singular made plural.” Yesterday, it was one Will, willing through each of us. Today it’s one Self extending through each of us.

In my own learning, this is a hard concept to wrap my head around—the whole “there is One that is also many.” Rationally, my human brain just doesn’t understand it and feels confused by it. But I also know that this idea is essential. It’s essential because:

1)      It embodies Oneness. Despite the physical experience of difference or separation, there is something within us that is the same. (Here I am reminded of the Buddhist ground for this: we are all the same, because we all experience suffering, and we all just want to be happy; as well as the Christian belief that “we are all one in Christ.” Even though the ideas of oneness differ, they still point to Oneness.)

2)      It embodies Equality. If there is something within us that is One between us, everyone I meet is equal to me, and I am equal to everyone I meet. This isn’t a dogmatic equality, a political equality, or an economic/social equality—this is an internal quality of Equality. Call it Christ, call it Buddha Nature, call it our One self, call it Love…whatever it is it makes us equal. So whatever opinion or judgment I hold about anyone else, I am also holding it about myself.

3)      If we are Equal and One, then our interests—though they may appear separate and disparate—are also Equal and One, at the level of Oneness. At the level of Oneness, what I want can only serve what you want, can only bring about what we want…at the level of Oneness.

This is why it’s so important to tune in and stay tuned in to Oneness.

By all appearances, we are separate.

By all appearances, we are different.

By all appearances, if I have something you cannot have it too.

By all appearances, we are working toward different/separate goals.


Appearance is not the truth. Everything we do serves Oneness, serves us all. We can either cooperate consciously, or get tumbled about in the whims of “others”. I choose to learn to cooperate.

The Nature of Fulfillment. A Journey of Fulfillment: Day 23

Copyright Tam Black 2014 Designed for susanwithpearls.com
Copyright Tam Black 2014
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

Our Self wills to create. Our Fulfillment is Creation.

Our Self wills to share. Our Joy is Sharing.

Our Self wills to extend itself. Our Peace is extension.



There is only one Will. One Will, willing through US. The singular made plural. Our will: One.

Our will, One, creating, is our fulfillment. We will together. We are fulfilled, as creation is fulfilled in our one Will.

We are one Self, with one Will, united within ourselves and between our selves.

True creation is the expression of our unity. In unity is true power, true peace.

Our one Self, our one Will, wills only to share its unity. In sharing, we bring awareness of Oneness to others, lost and disconnected.

Know our Oneness that we might share our Oneness and in the sharing watch the light of Joy increase in another. My Joy is your Joy, is his Joy, is her Joy.

All that Oneness is, we are. This is the nature of fulfillment. We are complete and healed and whole in Oneness, as is everyone.

[I know this is all very serious, but just to confirm that Oneness apparently has a sense of humor, I’d like to share what came with that last sentence. The tune/words, “Together Forever” just started playing in my head… I kind of Rick rolled myself. Or maybe you did it to me, idk, but it’s kind of funny. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you… a brand new Rick roll!]

I feel very satisfied today. I say that intentionally, because of what I wrote yesterday. I love how doing these Journeys shifts me. I love how it feels to feel movement. No—the movement is not external; it is all within. But I feel it. And I know that all is right. My life is right. I am doing what needs to be done. I am where I am supposed to be.

This is one of the biggest benefits (for me, and in my humble opinion) of doing these Journeys. Instead of being IN stuff unconsciously (as I think most people are; people just walk around “in stuff” all the time), the intention, Guiding Thoughts, and the process all focus that STUFF into a channel toward a purpose. Then everything in life becomes a learning tool within the framework of the journey. Every situation, every encounter, and every interaction can be looked at and weighed with the terms of the journey. Then it’s my choice to have those interactions serve the journey…or not. It’s all very enlightening.

All Questions. No Answers. A Journey of Fulfillment: Day 22

Copyright Tam Black 2014 Designed for susanwithpearls.com
Copyright Tam Black 2014
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

We now invite, welcome, and receive the effects of Divine Love now… and are truly grateful.

We experience Divine Mind as we experience these effects.

We allow Divine Presence to confirm itself in our lives, activities, and affairs.



Throughout this journey, I have felt a gap -a disconnect- between my experience and “the experience of fulfillment.”

The first response to this is “duh”. Isn’t filling the gap the whole point of being on this journey? I’ve been having a lot more “duh” moments than “ah-ha” moments lately.

If nothing else, the gap serves to keep me striving. I just saw a quote that said, “It’s not how bad you want it, it’s how hard you want to work for it.” How hard do I want to work for fulfillment? And what about the whole thing, about already being fulfilled?

The paradoxes press upon me today. If I am already fulfilled, why do I feel this way?

Is it that I am imposing my own idea of fulfillment onto the “real” fulfillment, and so missing it entirely? Am I fulfilled and just don’t know it?

It’s like my mind has this idealized version of what life should be like and my life falls short. But that’s just it… my life is really good. I love my family. I love my residence; I have great friends; I love my job (with some qualifiers). I eat enough. I am healthy. People support and love me. Why in the hell am I dissatisfied? Why do I not feel fulfilled? This truly, truly perplexes me.

I am very grateful…. and yet…there’s something….more.

I am very happy….and yet… there’s something more.

I am very prosperous….and yet…there’s something more.

Do people in general feel this way? I feel so fortunate, my life is so good, and yet…there’s something more. If I feel this way, how do other people feel, who don’t feel as fortunate as I do? There’s no way to know, I know. I just wonder. Feel free to comment, help me out.

I watched a movie a few weeks ago called “Sita Sings the Blues” (watch it here). It is an animated version of the Indian classic book, the “Ramayana”. Bear with me. The ultra-simplified story line is: Man (Ram) and woman (Sita) fall in love and are married; Ram is good, true, and wise, Sita is virtuous, loyal and generous. Other man kidnaps Sita for her beauty; Ram must rescue his wife, and enlists the help of Hanuman. Thanks to Hanuman, wife is rescued.

The important character for this article is Hanuman.

Hanuman (center), Sita (right), and Rama (left) Artist unknown
Hanuman (center), Sita (right), and Rama (left)
Artist unknown

There is a line from the movie that has stuck with me. The narrative characters were discussing some of the lore/legend of the story, and they remark that (paraphrased), “the only reason for Hanuman to be born was to meet Ram and to rescue Sita.”

The only reason. The only reason.

So Hanuman lived his life basically waiting for that moment and that situation. Did he feel restless, unfulfilled, wondering what he was “supposed to be doing” while he was waiting? Did he know he was waiting? Did he know that every moment leading up to that moment was crucial to that moment? Was his life pre-designed to meet up with Ram? Did his choices matter? Could he have screwed it up, so that he and Ram never met and he never rescued Sita? [Images of parallel universes in my head] What can I learn from this?

Are people fulfilling a purpose moment to moment, whether they know it or not?

A “yes” answer to this question feels very re-assuring.