Journey of the Heart – Day 14

We are on Round 2 of our Journey! For those of you new to this, there are 10 Guiding Thoughts, which we repeat in four rounds, for a total of 40 days. With this round, instead of hearing the guiding thoughts in the first person, the subject of the Guiding Thought will be “you”. For example, instead of saying, “My heart knows how to love”, we will be saying, “Your heart knows how to love.”  (For further explanation see Journey of the Heart – Day 11)

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Spend about 15-20 minutes with the guiding thought, and then let your heart speak through words, pictures, colors, shapes, whatever feels right. I’ve supplied a link below to an audio of me doing the guiding thought–use it if you like to create, while listening to it play on a loop (that’s what I do). Scroll to the bottom for my sharing…

Day 14 Guiding Thought

How can you deepen and expand your relationship with your beautiful, blissful heart?

How can you give your love, your wisdom, your compassion more openly and freely?

How can you know your heart of love, as yourself?

Click here to access the audio file.

You can download this and play it in a loop while you allow your heart to speak to you 🙂   I suggest Windows Media Player (I have not tested other players).

 

Journey of the Heart - Day 14 Susan Billmaier for susanwithpearls
Journey of the Heart – Day 14
Susan Billmaier for susanwithpearls

How many times have you been given love that you have not recognized…and therefore rejected?

How many answers have you been given that you have not understood…and therefore rejected?

The answers are in front of you. The answers are all around you. The answer is in nature. The answer is in the trees:

  • Stillness
  • Waving
  • Stoic
  • Being
  • Timeless
  • Majestic

Look out the window, what do you see? This is an answer. Look to the left. Look to the right. Look up. Look out. These are all answers.

Look within for the questions.

Journey of the Heart – Day 13

We are on Round 2 of our Journey! For those of you new to this, there are 10 Guiding Thoughts, which we repeat in four rounds, for a total of 40 days. With this round, instead of hearing the guiding thoughts in the first person, the subject of the Guiding Thought will be “you”. For example, instead of saying, “My heart knows how to love”, we will be saying, “Your heart knows how to love.”  (For further explanation see Journey of the Heart – Day 11)

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Spend about 15-20 minutes with the guiding thought, and then let your heart speak through words, pictures, colors, shapes, whatever feels right. I’ve supplied a link below to an audio of me doing the guiding thought–use it if you like to create, while listening to it play on a loop (that’s what I do). Scroll to the bottom for my sharing…

Day 13 Guiding Thought

Follow the guidance of your heart and experience life anew!

Express love, and experience love everywhere.

Find new ways to love.

Recognize new depths and nuances of love.

Be patient. Be kind. Be wise and respond to life with love, as love.

Click here to access the audio file.

You can download this and play it in a loop while you allow your heart to speak to you 🙂   I suggest Windows Media Player (I have not tested other players).

Journey of the Heart - Day 13 Susan Billmaier for susanwithpearls
Journey of the Heart – Day 13
Susan Billmaier for susanwithpearls

 

As I’ve mentioned before, I do not plan these pictures. I let the Guiding Thought speak to me and just color/draw/play with whatever comes out. Most often, I ask myself (my heart), “What color should I choose?” or “What shall I draw where?”

Today I had a lot of trouble getting started. I felt the words, “Find new ways to love. Recognize new depths and nuances of love.” But I had no idea what to draw/color. It took many minutes before I started. I kept wishing I were more of an artist—someone who actually knows the techniques for drawing different things. I felt some embarrassment that my pictures are so simple. But at the same time, I like the innocence and child-like nature of my art. I am just free…

I wanted to represent something of depth—and I think that is what the hearts on the right are, this chain-link of hearts that goes off in two directions, in a way that you cannot see its end or beginning. And I wanted to represent something nuanced, which would be all of the different “decorations” in the hearts. The leaves represent growth, and the outlines of the hearts represent expansion. Again, I didn’t plan any of this… the understanding of what I was doing came to me as I was doing it.

The big heart on the left is my Heart Sun. I don’t really know what that means…again, it came to me as I was doing it. The blue and purple rays from the heart sun reminded me of a jester’s hat, so I put some little “balls” at the ends of two of them, to really make it resemble a jester’s hat. Apparently, my Heart Sun has a sense of humor. The Heart Sun had to do with the expression and experience of Love. That is what I was focused on as I drew/colored it.

What matters with these daily drawings is that I’m spending time with my heart, really giving it a place, a voice, and serious consideration. My heart has not had attention quite like this before…and it’s responding! I got news today that some plans I wanted to make for the future just completely fell through. At another point in my life, I might have felt failure, rejection, defeated…but today…I felt oddly optimistic. The quote from Thomas Edison ran through my head– when he had “failed” at producing the light bulb after hundreds of attempts, his response was (something like), “This is a success! Now I know of one more that is not the answer, and I can move on to finding the answer!” That is how I felt, but in terms of my heart, it was more along the lines of, “Now you are free to do what I will lead you to!”

Onward!

Journey of the Heart – Day 12

We are on Round 2 of our Journey! For those of you new to this, there are 10 Guiding Thoughts, which we repeat in four rounds, for a total of 40 days. With this round, instead of hearing the guiding thoughts in the first person, the subject of the Guiding Thought will be “you”. For example, instead of saying, “My heart knows how to love”, we will be saying, “Your heart knows how to love.”  (For further explanation see Journey of the Heart – Day 11)

___________________________________________________________________________

Spend about 15-20 minutes with the guiding thought, and then let your heart speak through words, pictures, colors, shapes, whatever feels right. I’ve supplied a link below to an audio of me doing the guiding thought–use it if you like to create, while listening to it play on a loop (that’s what I do). Scroll to the bottom for my sharing…

Day 12 Guiding Thought

Today, decide to give your heart reign.

Trusting in love, assured with its gentle comfort, invite your heart to lead you with joy and peace to joy and peace.

Surrender your mind and will to your heart’s love.

Click here to access the audio file.

You can download this and play it in a loop while you allow your heart to speak to you 🙂   I suggest Windows Media Player (I have not tested other players).

 

Journey of the Heart - Day 12 Susan Billmaier for susanwithpearls
Journey of the Heart – Day 12
Susan Billmaier for susanwithpearls

I must confess. After doing this today, I was a mess. My loving partner reminded me that at some point early in every Journey, I always become a mess. Here is how that conversation went:

ARealMess

I don’t know if it comes out in that conversation, but I was practically at a point of panic. Total. Irrational. Panic. For really no other reason than my mind was just out of control; it was spinning and spinning and so afraid that I was screwing everything up.

Today’s Guiding Thought is all about surrender. I knew it as I was doing the drawing/coloring. In the picture, I am in a supine position, which is an open and vulnerable position. Everything about this picture to me says “surrender”—everything being offered up.

I’ve been working on surrender consciously for about 18 months; it actually began with the Journey of Worth which started in September, 2013. Surrender is about accepting and allowing the Divine Will, Divine Love, to express itself through me, as me; living consciously as a Divine individual.

Consciously is the keyword. When things that are of the “higher personality” become more conscious, the “lower personality” becomes weaker, less influential. It can be scary to move away from a personality that has been with me all my life, has been comfortable and likable, and has gotten me here. But now it’s time to evolve, and my lower personality is panicking.

Another part of the panic is that I don’t really know where I am going. What does it mean to allow Divine Will to express itself through me as me? I mean… really…. what does that mean? How is that experienced? How do I know?

Also, I don’t really know how to surrender. I mean… I do my practices. I breathe. I do mantra. Today I started using “Into thy hands I commend my spirit” as my mantra, because if anything conveys surrender, that surely does. But I feel like I am feeling around in the dark. If those words worked for Jesus, does that mean they will work for me? And if they do, how will I know? What would my experience of complete surrender be?

I spent a good part of the day today apologizing to God. “I am sorry I am screwing it up.” “I don’t know what to do.” “Please don’t hold it against me that my mind is a complete mess today.” “Help me get through this.”

…I slept. I woke up. I got through it. The Journey continues!

 

Journey of the Heart – Day 11

We are on Round 2 of our Journey! For those of you new to this, there are 10 Guiding Thoughts, which we repeat in four rounds, for a total of 40 days. With this round, instead of hearing the guiding thoughts in the first person, the subject of the Guiding Thought will be “you”. For example, instead of saying, “My heart knows how to love”, we will be saying, “Your heart knows how to love.”  More on this in the posting later today!

There are basically two different ways to hear the Guiding Thought this round. You may think about someone saying the guiding thought to you, or you may think about you saying the guiding thought to someone else. And you can vary this. Go back and forth, see how you feel with each one; see where the Guiding Thought takes you.

Sometimes I like how it feels to be directed. When I imagine someone else saying the Guiding Thoughts to me, it’s like I am being told, “Do this” (it’s not so apparent in this first guiding thought, but becomes more apparent in later days, like tomorrow, the Guiding Thought is “Today, decide…” and “Surrender your mind…” These are directive statements—telling me what to do. I don’t need to think, I just need to submit to the authority of a “higher” (wiser) being telling me what I want to do to get what I want.

I should mention that I don’t have much of an authority problem (…anymore =) ), and don’t mind “being told what to do”. Sometimes it’s even just easier, like: “Ok, I don’t have to think, just tell me what you want”. A spiritual trainer, getting me in shape! If you have resistance to being told what to do, you may not like using your imagination this way (on the other hand, it could also be a safe way to begin to work through some of that resistance).

The other method is to picture yourself in the role of teacher/guide/compassionate helper, who really wants Heart-Love for someone else, and you are the one doing the directing, telling them “what to do” to get at what they really want.

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Spend about 15-20 minutes with the guiding thought, and then let your heart speak through words, pictures, colors, shapes, whatever feels right. I’ve supplied a link below to an audio of me doing the guiding thought–use it if you like to create, while listening to it play on a loop (that’s what I do). Scroll to the bottom for my sharing…

Day 11 Guiding Thought

Your Heart knows how to love.

Everything is energy.

The most potent energy is love.

As you learn love, invite the most powerful energy to express through you, to live as you, to be you!

Your heart is Love’s abode.

Your heart teaches only love.

You are a willing and joyful student!

Click here to access the audio file.

You can download this and play it in a loop while you allow your heart to speak to you 🙂   I suggest Windows Media Player (I have not tested other players).

Journey of the Heart - Day 11 Susan Billmaier for susanwithpearls
Journey of the Heart – Day 11
Susan Billmaier for susanwithpearls

 

When I started this Journey, I knew that I would find it interesting to watch how different parts of the Guiding Thoughts “speak” at different times. I mean, it’s not like I can capture in a 20-30 minute drawing, all of the impressions, feelings, images that I get when I am listening to the Guiding Thought.

In the first round, my feelings and impressions focused on my heart knowing how to love, on learning love, and on being a willing and joyful student of my heart-teacher. [see Journey of the Heart – Day 01]

Today’s impressions were all about the energy. This picture feels like the transference of potential energy (the red on the left) to kinetic energy (the zigzags on the right) through me. But it is also about the passive receiving of the energy (my left, pinkish side—my hands are up, open) and the active movement of that energy (the red, right side, with my hands/arms out like I’m throwing the energy [sort of]). And in the middle, the red is also flowing through me, like it’s just there, naturally.

“I” am less defined in this picture. It’s a very generic person… but still a representation of me. It was important for me to be less significant, in order for Love’s potency to come through.

 

 

Journey of the Heart – Day 10

Spend about 15-20 minutes with the guiding thought, and then let your heart speak through words, pictures, colors, shapes, whatever feels right. I’ve supplied a link below to an audio of me doing the guiding thought–use it if you like to create, while listening to it play on a loop (that’s what I do). Scroll to the bottom for my sharing…

Day 10 Guiding Thought

My heart-love establishes my inner-peace.

Solidly grounded in my own inner-peace, I approach all of life with love, compassion, and wisdom.

I live as my Self, shining with the beauty of the Love I AM.

Click here to access the audio file.

You can download this and play it in a loop while you allow your heart to speak to you 🙂   I suggest Windows Media Player (I have not tested other players).

 

Journey of the Heart - Day 10 Susan Billmaier for susanwithpearls
Journey of the Heart – Day 10
Susan Billmaier for susanwithpearls

Wow! I love this picture. I have no idea how it happened. I was just thinking about being solidly grounded (the green and brown earthy tones), about my heart establishing my inner peace (the green band that goes through the triangle down into the dark green “box”), and about shining with the beauty of the Love I AM (all of the various radiating beams, zig-zags, and triangles). There are just SO MANY ways to be beautiful in each and every one of us. I felt like this representation was barely scratching the surface of all of the ways that beauty can be represented.

“I” am represented by the blue egg-shape. I don’t really know what the pinkish triangle above the egg is. But it is like the pinkish triangle meets with the green triangle right at my heart, and everything comes out from there, all connected.

 

Journey of the Heart – Day 09

Spend about 15-20 minutes with the guiding thought, and then let your heart speak through words, pictures, colors, shapes, whatever feels right. I’ve supplied a link below to an audio of me doing the guiding thought–use it if you like to create, while listening to it play on a loop (that’s what I do). Scroll to the bottom for my sharing…

Day 09 Guiding Thought

Guiding Thought

Gratitude strikes my heart like a bell, resounding love through my being.

Gratitude opens my heart to Love’s purity, my very own essence!

I experience such deep gratitude for my heart, my essence, my ALL of Life!

Click here to access the audio file.

You can download this and play it in a loop while you allow your heart to speak to you 🙂   I suggest Windows Media Player (I have not tested other players).

 

Journey of the Heart - Day 09 Susan Billmaier for susanwithpearls
Journey of the Heart – Day 09
Susan Billmaier for susanwithpearls

The thing about this Journey is that words are unnecessary. It’s really about connecting with, communicating with my heart. That’s all. Sitting and listening to the Guiding Thought while I draw is enough.

I add text sometimes to remind myself about what I was thinking or feeling as I drew/colored… but the word-memories are not necessary. I can simply gaze at the drawing and “get” the feeling of the picture. This picture, for example, just feels OPEN to me. I don’t think there could ever be a moment where this picture feels not open. And I don’t need to have words to tell me that.

What’s really cool about that is that sometimes I get more of an understanding after the fact by gazing at something I’ve already done.

So, if you are joining me on this journey… let whatever you do be enough. Even if you only spend one minute a day with your heart, it is one minute more than if you didn’t. Every moment spent with your heart, communicating with yourself opens you to love, opens you to so much more. Just start, and continue little by little.

Journey of the Heart – Day 08

Spend about 15-20 minutes with the guiding thought, and then let your heart speak through words, pictures, colors, shapes, whatever feels right. I’ve supplied a link below to an audio of me doing the guiding thought–use it if you like to create, while listening to it play on a loop (that’s what I do). Scroll to the bottom for my sharing…

Day 08 Guiding Thought

Love-as-light streams from my heart to your heart!

We are connected by Love; we are One in Love.

I imagine this stream of love-as-light connecting with everyone in time and space.

I imagine receiving this stream of love-as-light as it returns to me from everyone in time and space.

This is enough. We are One.

Click here to access the audio file.

You can download this and play it in a loop while you allow your heart to speak to you 🙂   I suggest Windows Media Player (I have not tested other players).

 

Journey of the Heart - Day 08 Susan Billmaier for susanwithpearls
Journey of the Heart – Day 08
Susan Billmaier for susanwithpearls

It’s crazy, I tell you! So many hearts! So many different sizes and shapes and colors! All hearts! Every one different! Each unique! Everyone streaming their own unique heart love! Love flowing! No more “my love”. No more “your heart”—just love and hearts connecting in all sorts of crazy ways!

I watched Interstellar (the 2014 movie), last night after doing this day of the Journey. It occurs to me that today’s Guiding Thought and the movie echo some moments.

At one point, the crew of the ship is deciding which planet to go to next. Low on resources, they must choose only one of two possibilities. Anne Hathaway’s character wants to go to “planet A” because she is in love with the man who may be there. Despite being an expert scientist on the matter, she offers a lengthy defense of her intuitive guidance, and how love can make connections over time and space (it was 10 years and a different galaxy where she had last seen the person she was in love with) and lead the way over and above scientific deductions. The other two crew members disagree with her decision-making, veto her, and go to “planet B”…but oh, what a noble defense she gives for following love!

A second theme of the movie is Matthew McConaughey’s character wants to save our planet out of love for his children. This love brings him to make a decision to leave the mission and enter a black hole to collect data on the quantum singularity, so he can transmit it back to earth where it can be used to save everyone. In the black hole, he experiences his past– he watches his life with his daughter unfold, including sending her a message through time that she had gotten before he actually left on the interstellar journey. His love for her took him out of 3 dimensions into the infinity of time and space, into a 3-dimensional representation of the fifth dimension. The message: love defies 3-dimensional perceptions and “comes through” despite time or space barriers and limitations.

I am not sure how it all makes sense—infinite time and space, fifth dimension, and all that….but I do know that thinking about or imagining the interconnectedness of love, and love through time and space, as in the Guiding Thought, or in the ideas of a movie plot, broadens how I experience love.

The love of the Guiding Thought is an impersonal love—I don’t know you, or love you as McConaughey’s character or Hathaway’s character knew and loved their family and partners—but I find impersonal love to be pure and clear, despite us not knowing each other.