Journey of the Heart – Day 35

We are on round 4! These last ten days, the Guiding Thoughts return to using me and I for the pronouns. See how your perspective of your self has changed through using you or we the past twenty days. See if your sense of self is bigger; if you can include a broader vision of “you”.

You may also choose to continue to take a moment before the Journey to listen to this quickly—it is a thought for others, so that the effects of this Journey ripple out!

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Spend about 15-20 minutes with the guiding thought, and then let your heart speak through words, pictures, colors, shapes, whatever feels right. I’ve supplied a link below to an audio of me doing the guiding thought–use it if you like to create, while listening to it play on a loop (that’s what I do). Scroll to the bottom for my sharing…

Day 35 Guiding Thought

I bring my awareness to my heart and resonate with its love.

Naturally and easily my heart-love radiates through me.

Love is present now—rippling in to the future, releasing the past.

Click here to access the audio file.

You can download this and play it in a loop while you allow your heart to speak to you :).   I suggest Windows Media Player (I have not tested other players).

Journey of the Heart - Day 35 Susan Billmaier for susanwithpearls
Journey of the Heart – Day 35
Susan Billmaier for susanwithpearls

This journey is definitely having an effect on me. I am changing. It’s not very comfortable. I have been so out of my element for this journey. All this heart over mind stuff…all this right-brained creativity…I am not used to being so immersed in these things.

You see, since I have been doing ‘Journey of the Heart’, I have really been working on not thinking. That means, not planning, not making lists (and when I did, life had other plans), not thinking things through, not assessing, not figuring out the “best” way to do or approach something…which means that I never really know what I am doing, or why. I’m just doing… or being. [Is this what people mean by “just be”???]

My comfort zone has been expanding and I have been feeling the stress of re-structuring. I’ve been forgetful, confused, spontaneous (sometimes forced spontaneity), and unsettled in general…even anxious.

I believe all of these uncharacteristic traits I am experiencing are a direct result of exercising a part of myself that does not generally get this much exercise. I am not ready to be characteristically forgetful or confused. I think these things are the result of my brain re-wiring and settling in to a new normal…or at least I hope so.

I was feeling this when I did today’s drawing. My mind was really resisting. “Drawing! Again!? NOOOOOOOOOO! I’m soooo tired of this!” But I pushed through… and did it. I can’t say that I like the drawing, but I did it. The picture represents energy that comes out and cycles back. Everything cycles. Maybe all this that I am feeling is coming out to be filtered and cycled back—purified… let’s hope.

I’ll finish the Journey; I am willing to continue to grow and expand! (Especially since there are only a few more days left!) But, boy, I am not enjoying this right now.

Are there any right-brained people who are in more familiar territory with this Journey who can talk me through this? Is it easier for you? Do people who are more naturally “emotional” or “creative” have a less unsettling experience with this? What kinds of things are natural or more characteristic to you? Is this just me?

Yet, I feel oddly settled by simply writing about how unsettled I feel.