It feels good to be taking this little pause between Journeys. The natural metaphor I have in my head symbolizing my Journeys is hiking in the mountains. I’m on a dirt path, surrounded by rocks and trees; there is always more ahead, always the path behind. Sometimes the terrain is steep and jagged; sometimes the trail is flat, as though through a meadow. This pause between Journeys is like finding the perfect rock to sit on in the sunshine, drinking some water, taking in the landscape, listening to the birds and creatures, and assessing the progress; even the pause is part of the hike. It’s a time to feel accomplishment, to feel my body relax, to refresh and re-invigorate for the next part of the trail.
These few days since ending the Journey, this pause, is an integral part of the Journey itself, like sitting in the sunshine. There are things to observe and appreciate that I may not have noticed while being occupied with Guiding Thoughts.
It feels important to me to remind myself that this is part of it. Life is the Journey. My interactions, my conversations, are reminding me where I have been and how far I’ve come. Even though I am not intentionally doing the work of directing my consciousness at this point, my consciousness is still flowing, moving, winding down, and gearing up, appreciating the rest while also prodding me forward.
What do I see when I look back? How do I feel about this Journey?
First, I can tell you that I feel very happy and feel such a sense of accomplishment in doing a ‘Journey of the Heart’. This was a first! And I did it! I don’t think I ever doubted that I could do it, but it definitely felt, at times, like I was just beginning to learn a new skill. There was uncertainty, fumbling, trying different things, seeing what felt right.
This process reminds me of learning to play the clarinet: you have to practice how to fit your mouth correctly around the reed so the thing doesn’t squeak (in the meantime, there are squeaks); as you learn not to squeak, you are also learning the finger-placements; once the not-squeaking improves, the next thing is to learn to make rich, full tones, while doing a better job getting all the finger-placements right. The more you practice, the more these come together for a beautiful, consistent sound.
Regarding a ‘Journey of the Heart’, I think I am still squeaking….but not as much as when I began the Journey!
I say this because even though there were moments of clarity and feeling very connected with my heart, feeling it communicating with me, feeling its love and power, there were also moments of questioning, wondering, and uncertainty. Am I doing this right? What am I supposed to be doing? Is this my heart speaking or…what?
It’s like on some level I knew the vastness and depths that were possible, and I also knew I was just scratching the surface.
My inner-depths were opening to me, calling me, but I wasn’t exactly sure how to approach them.
And that’s why I am so happy that I’ve done this. Next time, there will be even fewer squeaks, and maybe even some full rich tones. I will be able to listen more specifically, understand what I am hearing, and how I am being guided. I’ve opened to the call and direction, and can now move more purposefully toward it.
A second thing I feel about this Journey is that I will never again experience Journeys in the same way as I did before this Journey. Every Journey now will have the heart very naturally and intentionally incorporated. I will more easily feel with my mind and think with my heart. There will be greater inner-unity and wholeness.
That makes me very excited to see what the next Journey brings.
A ‘Journey of Abundance‘ begins May 7. Join me, if you like!