The Inner Teenager Strikes Back: Journey of Freedom – Day 08

Copyright Tam Black 2015 Designed for susanwithpearls.com
Copyright Tam Black 2015
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

Guiding Thought

My connection with the Infinite Source of Love is and always has been enough. Love loves me always, everywhere. Assured in love, I am perfectly lovable and perfectly loving in all situations.

Sharing

None of the Guiding Thought felt true today. I spent my time with it, as best I could (my mind was very distracted—I put on Mozart to help me focus, but that didn’t even work). I read it…and repeated. ..and repeated. All I got was “Blah, blah, blah…”

I realized my inner apathetic teenager was letting me know everything is just stupid. I (the inner teenager) wanted to be a smart ass about the Guiding Thought and totally make fun of it, rolling her/my eyes, “What-evvver.” In fact, the more I tried to concentrate on the Guiding Thought, the louder the teenager said, “Blah, blah, blah…” and rolled her eyes.

So I relaxed on trying to focus on the Guiding Thought and instead started paying attention to the teenager.

It seems the teenager has no clue what “enough” means, much less what the connection with Infinite Source is, or how that could possibly be “enough”, especially when she doesn’t know what “enough” means. So, the first line was all just “blah, blah, blah, bullblah” to her.

It was the same with the entire rest of the Guiding Thought. In her mind, in order for the second line to be true, she should at least be aware of Love’s love, which she isn’t. And, she sure as heck does not feel loving and lovable at all, much less in all situations, or perfectly.

I tried to explain it. I tried to get the connection, so she would understand it was more than just bullblah. But her doubts had infiltrated my own awareness and understanding, and my own confidence and connection were shaky. I was watching her doubts, thinking they were not my doubts…but the line was blurry…and I was feeling disconnected, doubt, and uncertainty.

So I tried to assure her, that even though we weren’t feeling the truth beyond the words, even though we didn’t understand and it sounded like bullblah, that these Guiding Thoughts get us closer to being aware of and knowing the Truth. She looked at me with that, “You are totally feeding me a line” look… and rolled her eyes.

And the fact is, I felt insincere when I tried to explain it to her. Since I wasn’t getting it, I certainly couldn’t represent myself as getting it with any authenticity (authenticity carries its own authority, while authority alone can be inauthentic). Her doubt and distrust was completely legitimate.

So what can I do to get one little iota of Truth into my awareness that I can authentically represent to this teenager to get her just one iota past the feeling of “bullblah”?

…Keep going.

 

 

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