A New Dimension: Journey of Freedom – Day 12

Copyright Tam Black 2015 Designed for susanwithpearls.com
Copyright Tam Black 2015
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

Guiding Thought

Freely release patterns, habits, and thoughts that inhibit Freedom! Allow your thoughts and feelings to transform through remembrance of Freedom through Love! You were born with everything you need to be free in Love. Allow Love to lead you. Trust Love and surrender to its wisdom.

Sharing

Today, during my contemplation of the Guiding Thought, I understood a new dimension of the use of “you” in this round, a new dimension of going deeper, a new dimension of giving and receiving.

Yesterday, I recommitted to going deeper, which for this round means giving love to those who give misery. Before I started today, I felt a huge resistance to this. I had to spend many minutes getting my thoughts right to even begin the contemplation. I went through a mental process of forgiveness and surrender. This process did not lead me to feeling open and loving! But I did get to a point of being willing to feel open and loving. I thought of what I know about God, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit: I do not need to Know or to Do, if I allow them to do the Knowing and the Doing. Being willing today meant stepping aside, not knowing, being totally uncertain and even doubtful, but trusting that they Know and they will do for me what I cannot do for myself, or for someone else. I was then able to begin the contemplation.

I think the way I contemplated changed today, as a result of this. Normally, I read the Guiding Thought sentence by sentence, through to the end, then start at the beginning and do it again, over and over, sometimes pausing and focusing on one word or idea, but following the sentences through from beginning to end. Today that changed. I read the first sentence three times; each time I read it to the person/people who live in misery, and today I added a name at the beginning and end of the sentence, so I was saying the sentence directly to that person: “>Person’s name< Freely release patterns, habits, and thoughts that inhibit Freedom! >person’s name<” I did this for each sentence of the Guiding Thought, reading it three times, adding the person’s name. I also incorporated the visual/imagination of seeing love and light surrounding me and this person. Since I was not feeling it, but since I was willing, and I had stepped aside for God/Christ/Holy Spirit, this was how I brought those things into the practice.

By the time I got to the first reading of the third sentence, my willingness had increased, I felt softer, more open, but still uncertain, doubtful, and “not feeling it”. I had to go through some mental processes about trust to stay on track and keep the uncertainty and doubt at bay, while confirming the love and light surrounding us.

As I continued reading the third sentence, something else happened. I realized I could not offer what I resisted. During the third sentence, I became the “you” just as I was giving to another “you”. Let me explain: During this round of “you”, as you contemplate the Guiding Thought, you can either say it to someone (so that person is the subject, the “you” of the Guiding Thought), or you can imagine some wise person or being saying the Guiding thought to you (and you are the subject, the “you” of the Guiding Thought,). I was both saying it to someone (>person’s name<) and someone was saying it to me. The giving and the receiving were simultaneous.

It’s kind of hard to explain how this affected me. I realized I had to be what I was giving. I had to go beyond merely being willing and actually accept myself as what I wanted to give. And I realized that by accepting it for myself, I was also accepting it for >person’s name<.

That then became something new. My acceptance for myself was also for someone else, so my acceptance for myself became an offering to that person. I then incorporated this idea into the words of the Guiding Thought: “>person’s name< You were born with everything you need to be free in Love >person’s name<. And I was born with everything I need to be free in love, which I offer to you for your benefit and enlightenment, and the benefit and enlightenment of all sentient beings<.

That was how I finished out the Guiding Thought.

At one point as I was finishing, my visualization changed. At the beginning I was visualizing >person’s name< surrounded by light, with God/Christ/Holy Spirit supplying Love.  When it changed, the image of that person’s body all of a sudden shrunk to about the size of a sparrow, and in the space where the body had been there was just light, in the outline of the body. It was at this point when I thought I might be able to actually contribute to the Love which God/Christ/Holy Spirit were supplying.

Today was a day of not knowing, really having not a clue what I was supposed to do, how I was supposed to sincerely give love to someone/people who give misery. I know compassion arises from understanding someone else’s pain and suffering, understanding how miserable they are. Compassion is about wanting to help them out of it. But I understood today I can only help someone out of it to the degree I help myself out of it—I can’t give what I don’t have, and in order to have more, in order to know more of the Truth of the Love I am, I must go deeper into my Self.

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