Through your physical body, bring Divine Light and Love to the physical universe. Heal unresolved issues through loving thoughts, words, and emotions, and become lighter and brighter. Bring light to all you have denied and heal your past-present-future NOW. Every day you are lighter and lighter!
My mind understands the truth of this Guiding Thought, but my emotions feel disconnected from it. I read the statements above and know I have been doing what they suggest. Throughout my day I do little meditations and take thought-focusing moments to bring Light and Love into my body, into the physical universe; I consciously use loving thoughts and words to be kind and loving; I delve into my past to find places that need healing; and my life continues to become lighter—I continue to become lighter. What’s more, I do what the Guiding Thought suggests while I am reading the statements, and if that were all I did, only bring Light and Love while I am reading the Guiding Thought…my heart, mind, and life would become lighter. This makes sense; intellectually, I get it.
Somehow, I know this Guiding Thought is true—and I am experiencing it. But I don’t feel it. What is it supposed to feel like? What does it feel like? It occurs to me that “no mind” is relevant here. Without mind trying to figure it out, maybe I would feel it.
Until I am of no mind, I am in search of a feeling. Or until I just stop looking, maybe? What is it I have said before, “You are searching for what you are searching with”?
It’s like I want clarity, an “AH-HA”, some definitive something that says, “THIS is IT!” I can feel the tension between my mind and “it”. I can feel how my mind is blocking, getting in my way.
Isn’t it funny that I can feel the blocking, but I can’t feel “it”? That’s one of the things about this that is so frustrating…I can be so aware of how I get in my own way, but I don’t know how to get out of the way.
So I keep spinning.
Several revolutions around the cycle and a part of me shouted, “JUST STOP.” Here is how that went:
You have to admit, this is totally hilarious isn’t it? “Spinning, spinning just keep spinning….” (To the tune of “Swimming, Swimming” from Finding Nemo. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Hkn-LSh7es) You just gotta have a sense of humor about this stuff some times. As soon as I put the spinning in pictures, I laughed and laughed, and realized how absurd it is…something lifted. I still don’t feel it, but I do feel lighter…maybe that is feeling it? I also feel better about not feeling it, if in fact I don’t feel it. =)