A Crack in the Ice: Journey of Freedom – Day 27

Copyright Tam Black 2015 Designed for susanwithpearls.com
Copyright Tam Black 2015
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

Guiding Thought

We allow our physical body to experience itself fully as Light and Love. Our physical bodies embody Light; we are an expanded body of Light and Sound. We move as Light, perceive as Light, behave as Light. We are everywhere—permeating, expanding, unifying, and healing. All things are possible.

Sharing

A couple of days ago I was struggling with the concept of “All is as it should be.” Today, I am accepting “All things are possible,” and feeling that reallyAll is as it should be”. I feel calm, at peace, confident, and assured.

But it’s funny how the mind works.

Shortly after I began accepting both of those statements on a deeper level while reading the Guiding Thought, recognizing I was calm, I thought, but what if it’s not? What if it’s not as it should be? What if what I want to be possible isn’t? And I felt panic rise; it was just a small twitch, but it was an immediate response to that doubt.

I realized I had projected that doubt into the future and had begun thinking about what I want. And as soon as I did, I began thinking about what I don’t want.

I have to remember that “All is as it should be” and “All things are possible” are so much bigger than me. As soon as I made it about me, the peace and calm gave way to panic and dissolved the assurance of now.

I can still feel it, still feel the smallness of wanting to make it about me.

This is a really good realization on this Consciousness Journey. How do I hold myself back? How do I limit myself? How I sabotage the progress? I go through struggles, fumbles, days of intense self-examination, and I get to (finally!) a place of peace and acceptance…and what do I do? I throw a wrench in the gears.

The wrench came from a different place than my struggles, though. When I am struggling, by golly, I know it. And when I know it, I take it head-on. “Bring it! Let me work this out. Let me get through this. Let me transform this.” And I work on it until it’s passed.

Then here I am; passed it, I am feeling good…and then something I wasn’t seeing comes up to get in my way.

At least I noticed. It was like a small crack that begins as you’re walking over an icy pond. You hear it first and just stop. “Is that what I thought it was?” You look down and see the tendrils of a crack. “Yup. I better not take that step.” But even backing up or retracing steps becomes precarious…present danger averted, but now you need to get back to where you know you’re safe; who knows how that small crack compromised the structure of the ice?

Maybe I misspoke (mistyped?) when I called this self-sabotage or holding myself back. Maybe this is really keeping me safe. Maybe the panic is a small, clear warning sign. I alerted myself to the danger of going down the path of doubt and making “it” about me.

Returning to a place of peace and assurance simply means removing the cause of the interruption, thoughts about me and I.

We. Us. Ours. Together. All. IS. Yes.

Thanks for keeping me safe.

 

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