What About What About What About: Journey of Gratitude – Day 29

Copyright Tam Black 2015 Designed for susanwithpearls.com
Copyright Tam Black 2015
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

Guiding Thought

Gratitude makes all things new! When we are aware of our Source in Love, we see its activity everywhere. It is the Substance of Life itself! We are in the flow and create and expand with Love, in Life!


“The only thing worse than being blind is having sight but no vision.”

Attributed to Helen Keller


I started reading a book called Energy Leadership by Bruce D. Schneider this week. The book is about how to shift energy within oneself and one’s business into “higher” states—from feelings of anger or victimization into compassion, peace, and creativity. It’s really right on.

One question that was posed early in the book was, “What would have to happen in the next 6 months for you to think a miracle occurred?” Although the context of the question was to a businessman whose business was on the verge of collapse, I thought it was a great question and started thinking for myself “What would have to happen in the next 6 months for me to think a miracle has occurred?”

It was a lot more challenging than I expected, and it raised a lot of internal questions for me. It’s not that I don’t believe in miracles; it’s more that I don’t know what a miracle looks like to me right now. There were questions about what would it mean if >this thing< happened?

  • “How would I have to change…and do I want that for >this thing< to happen?”
  • “But what if >this thing< does not bring with it the Joy and Peace that I really want?”
  • “How do I know what will bring me Joy and Peace? Isn’t that something better left in God’s hands?”

And then of course, there was the skeptic: “What about income?” “What about the security of a paycheck?” What about what about what about?

There was a lot of “how do I know what’s best” mixed up in all that. I have this thing about wanting to do what’s right, which has to do with surrendering to One Will, the will of God, listening to the voice of the Holy Spirit, etc. But I now wonder if my questions and doubts might not be my own personal version of what Dr. Schneider would call “level 2: victim consciousness,”  because those thoughts about “I don’t know what’s best” keep me doubting, keep me passive (to a degree), keep me unwilling to be bold (again, to a degree). It’s not that I don’t move forward—obviously, I do; that’s what these Journeys are all about—but the moving forward is mental/spiritual, and slow from a material standpoint.

I am honestly a bit torn about this. Do I surrender and go with the flow, and keep working on my mental-emotional-spiritual stuff? Is it OKAY for me to think about what my vision for myself for my material future looks like? Does thinking about what a miracle would be inhibit my mental/spiritual progress because I am thinking about it in material terms?

A Course in Miracles just popped into my mind. There is one passage that says (paraphrased) “You have taught yourself and you are a poor teacher.” And there is another passage that talks about how powerful the mind is in creating…and that we (being poor teachers) have taught our minds to mis-create, rather than to co-create with God, so OF COURSE we don’t trust our (mis)creations.

The inner conflict I describe above I think has to do with these passages. I want to get it right. I am tired of mis-creating, and I have been working really hard to create “correctly” but I don’t trust myself yet.

Baby steps! Just a drop, that’s all it takes. Let’s move forward with this! Moving in the direction of trusting my creations is what the Guiding Thought today is about for me—trusting life, trusting myself, trusting myself in life, making all things new, with a new vision.

>deep breath<

“What would have to happen in the next 6 months for me to think a miracle has occurred?”

Get a publishing contract for a nice sum of money, allowing me to write, publish, and teach the Journey Series, sharing these journeys as a system and process for enlightenment while working on my own personal aliveness (one of the core principles inherent in the Ultimate Journey).

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