Thankfully, Out of the Loop: Journey of Gratitude – Day 34

Copyright Tam Black 2015 Designed for
Copyright Tam Black 2015
Designed for

Guiding Thought

Through gratitude, my consciousness of Love expands, connecting me with All. Gratitude increases my awareness of unity; gratitude shows me our Wholeness. Gratitude is the bridge to knowing others as my Self. What a gift you are!


Yes, what a gift you are. I am so thankful for my friends and loved ones right now. What would I do without people who can talk me through stuff, help me process, give me pep talks?

There are characteristics that I am particularly thankful for at the moment:

Letting me be: I spin sometimes. It’s true. Not something I necessarily like, but, well…there it is, it happens. I get into an internal loop that I have a hard time escaping. My friends let me be. They let me spin… for a while…

Honesty: Brutal honesty. Go ahead. Give it to me. I can handle it. I know I’m being a pinhead, I know I am moping. I mope and spin and become quite downtrodden when I know where I want to be, but I am having a hard time talking myself into it. It’s when I want to remain apathetic, a victim of my own making, when I am too tired or lazy to pull my own self up by my boot straps.

My friends tell me like it is. They give me that emotional slap to wake me up, the kick in the rear to jar me out of the loop. What’s funny, is they generally don’t tell me something I don’t know… they just say it straight up, no holds barred, and I have to look myself in the eyes, through their eyes. I really, really appreciate this part of my best friendships. There are maybe 3 people who see my looping-mess well enough to lovingly and gently (most times) give me that brutal honesty that is like throwing me in an ice bath to wake me up.

I generally respond like this:Day034

But I will take this over someone sympathetically agreeing with my attempts at Self-negation any day.

Support: I am learning the difference between supporting someone’s “ego” (or “lower self”) and supporting someone’s Self, their “higher Self”. The apathy, victim-mindset, weakness, tiredness which I mention above—those are my “ego” or lower self, trying to keep me down. By being brutally honest, my friends are supporting my higher self. They are encouraging the better part of me. It takes courage a) to give the type of honesty that lifts people, despite their self-destruction tendencies, and do it in a way that they can receive it. It can be so easy to comply and agree with people’s ego-based emotions, rather than helping them grow out of them and b) to accept this kind of support and not become defensive fearing the pain of growth or that someone else sees you so clearly.

Experience: I have great honor and respect for people’s personal experiences, when they are able to advise me through my own. Sure, sometimes I don’t want to hear it (especially if it’s unsolicited!), but when I am in my loop, and someone who has felt what I feel and has come out the other side: yes, do please. They have this way of saying, “It will be ok, you’ll get through this” or “YOU CAN”T LET IT GET TO YOU!!!” in a way that is believable. It’s believable, because they’ve done it, and if they’ve done it and are okay, there is some assurance you can do it and be okay too.

Thank you to all my friends, family, colleagues who help get me out of the loop.