Life is a process of Self-discovery. I embrace All of Life, for All of Life is who I am. As I embrace Life as my Self, I come to understand Life as me. Life embraces me gently and joyfully in return.
And so the Journey of Courage commences with contemplation about Life. I wonder why that is?
…Perhaps because self-discovery requires courage?
Perhaps because facing life requires courage?
Perhaps because embracing the fullness of Life is courageous?
…or maybe because it means changing….
I have a bit of a premonition for this Journey—a feeling, if you will, that I will be changing during this Journey. I mean…I change to some degree with every Journey, but this one…this one I feel there will be some deep, core changes. And maybe, just maybe it is this Journey that is helping me with the courage to make those changes.
From my uncertain vantage point, I think that the changes have to do with simply becoming more solid in my commitment and dedication to service to God and humanity. I have not been resisting or denying service, but I have been in doubt about it, about how my current life overall serves Highest Good. In that doubt, I have been wishy-washy about my commitment to serve. Now, I am feeling more clarity, more sense of purpose, more “oomph” for moving forward.
I do not yet know what any of this has to do with courage.
I do, however recognize a recurring theme, as well as a new-ish theme (something I have worked on, but not necessarily written about here).
The current recurring theme:
On the last Journey, the Guiding Thought that I had the most trouble with was always the last day of each round, with the words, “simply being with the Love that is always with me”. It was hard on those days to think about being with that much Love, sitting with it, facing it, facing myself. Most of those days, I was having such an issue I practically tuned out. Next time will be better!
With today’s Guiding Thought, I am feeling reverberations from those words, “simply being with the Love that is always with me”, as I think about Being in Life, embracing Life as it is, not as I think it is or as I think it should be. It feels very much like “simply being with the Love that is always with me”, but it’s not so scary. It’s just enough different that I feel more open to Life and Love than I did on those days of the last Journey.
The new-ish theme:
You may laugh at this. It’s ok. I am kind of chuckling to myself as I think about it: I need to be more dedicated.
What!? You may say. How can you be more dedicated? You already do 40 day journeys every 52 days and you want to be more dedicated??? (With the subtext of, “are you nuts??”).
I know, I know. I am shaking my head at myself…but it’s right…I need to be more dedicated. I don’t mean that I necessarily need to do more…not necessarily, but I need to get my mind and heart right for going deeper into my dedication to Truth.
This is not an external change or shift, and it is actually not unfamiliar—there have been times in my life when I have been deeply, deeply dedicated. The problem has been that when I get into that mode, I tend to be really hard on myself. I never cut myself a break, have really high expectations, and stress myself out about “not doing enough” (see this and this for references I’ve made on other Journeys). Now, I am hoping that working on it during those previous journeys has balanced me a bit, and I can approach my dedication with better equilibrium.
Didn’t I just say two days ago that I want the courage to “seek the center of balance in worldly duplicities, that point of Supreme Peace between and beyond love-fear, tension-rest, and chaos-calm”?