Relevant Irrelevancies: Journey of Courage – Day 21

Copyright Tam Black 2015 Designed for susanwithpearls.com
Copyright Tam Black 2015
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

Guiding Thought

Life is a process of Self-discovery. We embrace All of Life, for All of Life is who we Are. As we embrace Life as our Self, we come to understand Life as ourselves. Life embraces us gently and joyfully in return.

Sharing

Welcome to Round 3! I don’t know about you, but this Journey has flown so far for me! Only 19 days left in this one after today!

See an explanation for how the Guiding Thoughts change for this round here.

As I do these Journeys, I am often “working on” other aspects of myself and my spiritual development that are not directly relevant to the Journeys. I only share things here that come to me as a result of the Journey’s Guiding Thought and my meditation/contemplation on it. Of course, personally and internally, everything is always relevant.

In the context of today’s Guiding Thought, Life is a process of Self-discovery, these normally “irrelevant” personal aspects feel pertinent, because they are part of my personal life of Self-discovery. I feel it’s appropriate to share some of these things that are always going on behind the scenes.

  • Healing the birth-death cycle, healing the death-urge

Leonard Orr teaches that the death urge is a collection of negative thoughts about life. I’ve been working on healing my death urge for many years; it is one of those things that can take many, many years to heal because of all of the layers and psychic-spiritual-emotional-physical entanglements. It is also elusive…and scary…and complex…and intangible…and hidden.

In a way, this healing underlies many of the themes I talk about during the Journeys: learning to trust, learning to trust life, letting go, finding and replacing my negative thoughts, learning what life truly is beyond the physical-emotional body.

I feel like today’s Guiding Thought is speaking directly to healing the death urge. It is about allowing life to unfold as a process and feel supported in that process. It’s ok if I don’t understand everything right now…it’s a process! It’s ok if I don’t have answers…it’s a process! It’s ok if I feel; it’s ok if I make mistakes; it’s ok if I fumble and falter. This is how I learn! This is the process. This is me learning about me learning about life learning about itself.

When I impose negative thoughts or judgments on the process, that’s the death urge. If I refrain from imposing those thoughts, I am just living and experiencing life as life, as me.

The Guiding Thought ends with a statement of assurance: Life treats us gently and joyfully. It does! There is no reason to fear life! Life is here for us! When I talk about my doubts or fears of needing to trust, I’ve forgotten this. But feeling these things, expressing them is part of the process! It’s the learning, the self-discovery. Even those things are Life. Even in the so-called “negatives” of life is Life. When we embrace those things as Life, as the process, as self-discovery, we embrace all of who we are, all of Life.

Life then teaches us of itself through those things. It’s always supporting us, guiding us…we just need to let it.

Have I mastered this? >chuckle< No. Like I said, it’s a constant sub-text.

  • Healing at Source

If you’ve are familiar with healing techniques like Reiki or EFT or Jharra—or many others—you know what I am referring to.

Healing at Source modifies conventional beliefs about “healing”. The conventional theory is that (so-called) healing treats symptoms. Symptoms, however, are physical/emotional expressions of underlying causes. If a practitioner treats the symptom but not the cause, the symptom may go away, but the cause remains to come out again at any time.

There is greater and greater understanding in mass consciousness that it’s the cause which needs to be healed, not the symptom. This is healing at the Source.

If this is thought-out to uncover the Ultimate Source, healing at Source becomes healing our relationship with God-Love-Oneness. Any symptom can be seen as a separation in consciousness from God-Love-Oneness.

I have a saying, “Everything is a God issue.” This means every bumpy emotion or physical symptom is directly related to my relationship with God. If I’m experiencing something uncomfortable or “unwanted”, it’s something I feel about myself in relation to God.

What I do: I feel the feeling in whatever situation I’m in, allowing myself to really feel it, to look at it, pinpoint it, get clear about what I think it is. Then I take that feeling and swap my situation. I take the feeling and instead of looking at it in the situation I’m in, I look at it in my relationship with God. In my little experimenting with this technique, I’ve identified:

Anger at God

Blaming God

Feeling unworthy of God

Stubbornness toward God

Belligerence and rebellion toward God

And many more

At first it was difficult to admit feelings of anger or blame—or any of these—toward God. How can I feel so disrespectfully toward God!? Oh, the guilt!

Then I had to deal with the guilt.

But what I learned is…God already knows how I feel. S/He already knows all the anger, blame, guilt, resistance that I feel. It wasn’t those feelings per se that were the “problem”. It was holding onto them, hiding them, not admitting them. I was sabotaging my relationship with God, not by the emotions, but by trying to hide them, suppress them from God.

Admitting my emotions opened me and brought me to a place where I could see how it was in the way of what I really wanted—a better relationship with God. And that brought me to a point of choice: Which do I want more? This emotion? Or a better relationship with God?

When faced with this choice, letting the emotion go was a no-brainer.

  • Greater incorporation of my spiritual practices into my lifestyle.

“Modern life” seems to be the antithesis of spiritual life. There’s always so much to do! Who has time to sit still and listen to nothing?

I’ve been working on creating a lifestyle that is conducive to having time to do spiritual practices. I’ve simplified. I’ve slowed down. I’ve made time for my practices by waking up earlier.

I’m happy with my progress, making time and taking time, but there is more to incorporate. Spiritual practices bring balance into other areas of life. Doing them creates the space to do them. That is a little paradoxical, but it’s what I’ve experienced. Once I start, and make the time-space for spiritual practice, something else opens up, life gets easier, life changes to accommodate it. But I have to take the step first to put the practice first.

I have more practices I want to incorporate. I want to chant more. I want to fast more. I want to increase my time sitting with fire. I want to do more Shiva Nata. My days currently feel “filled”—when will I have time to do these additional practices? But I know, if I make the time, something will open up and there will be greater balance.

My current lifestyle feels like I have it at a good place, well-balanced. If I “do more” I may go through a transition period which may feel very off-balance, until things settle. I am not sure I am ready to unbalance myself to find greater balance. I am going slowly, working on it.

These three things are constant in my spiritual work. They are “big” and ongoing things I am pecking away at over days, weeks, months, slowly and in the background. These are the unseen other parts of my life of Self-discovery.

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