We are ready and willing, here and now, to be courageous. We release our minds’ ideas of security, of “right” and of “wrong”. We allow our personality to dissolve and to become One with the Love that Is, everywhere. All false boundaries evaporate like mist in the sun as we devote ourselves to the Oneness of Love.
I have a friend who reminds me that the anticipation of pain is much worse than the pain itself. This goes for the anticipation of physical pain as much as for emotional or psychological pain. This is essentially the dictionary definition of fear: the anticipation of pain. Fear is not the pain itself; fear comes prior to the pain, caused by anticipation of pain.
Why am I bringing up fear and pain? Because I am thinking about courage…and I realized I am afraid of courage…then I realized I am not afraid of courage per se, but that I become afraid when I anticipate needing to be courageous. It’s the damned anticipation that throws a wrench in things, isn’t it?
I was here doing the Guiding Thought, picturing scenarios where I might need courage, including releasing ideas of security and allowing my personality to dissolve. In the anticipation, the fear came. Suddenly, I was in this whirlwind of wimp. But I am not a wimp! But I do think I am a wimp because when I think about (anticipate) being courageous I fall into fear, which leads me to think I am a wimp.
When I just face what I need to face, I am just doing it—and I am courageous: The anticipation of pain is worse than the pain itself. Wimp is the anticipation of pain; courage is just facing whatever is before me.
Here’s another thought: why would releasing ideas of security, of “right” and “wrong” and allowing my personality to dissolve raise feelings of fear? What is it about these things that I think would cause pain (because fear is the anticipation of pain…if I have fear, I must be anticipating pain)?
And I realized this is a HUGE clue to how subtly I hold onto my ego, that collection of ideas and beliefs about “me”. The thoughts of allowing and dissolving raised fear. What could be the only possible source of fear due to allowing and dissolving, but the (ego-)self being afraid of its own dissolution?
I wasn’t expecting this today. It was just enough of a fear-reaction to give me pause and alert me to something, but not enough to really scare me.