Re-raveling: Journey of Courage – Day 29

Copyright Tam Black 2015 Designed for susanwithpearls.com
Copyright Tam Black 2015
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

Guiding Thought

I accept my light and my lightness! I feel my Self expand! As I perceive change around me, I remain anchored in my Being of Light. I allow myself to sit peacefully in the still place of nothingness as life moves quickly around me.

Sharing

This is sure right on today.

“As I perceive change around me”…there’s been so much change in the past week! Subtle change still amazes me. Even after doing Reiki and other energy-work for over 20 years, the shifts that can happen are very humbling. With all my intellect, all my thinking and contemplating—even all my skepticism—I am blown away when the energy takes over and stuff just happens, shifting, changing very subtly, but also very experientially.

“I remain anchored in my Being of Light…” It’s a good thing this was not yesterday’s Guiding Thought. I was absolutely not anchored yesterday. But today (and yesterday), through all the change, my Being of Light came through to anchor me. There’s a bit of a double entendre there…I have a Being of Light that is this metaphysical-transcendent “Being within me” and I also have a physical being of light who I happen to live with, who anchors me, quite literally, when my air-sign-self tries to reach the stratosphere. Which one gets the credit for this anchoring? I put them both through the trials yesterday; fortunately, they both were there for me when I unraveled; and they both continue to anchor me today.

“I allow myself to sit peacefully in the still place of nothingness…” This part of the Guiding Thought is just a bit “off”. I don’t quite feel like I am “allowing” myself to do anything today; it’s more like my Self is demanding to sit peacefully in the still place of nothingness. Yesterday wore me out. There’s nothing to do but sit still and recuperate. I can’t even say my brain wants to work today.

…”as life moves quickly around me.” I am so thankful that even my emotional shifts are moving more quickly. Sometimes life moving quickly makes me feel as though I am always trying to keep up, but when it makes my emotions move through more quickly….OHHHH! Thank GOD! I remember times when I would go through something emotional and it would take days to work itself out. Now, it feels like I release enough in small ways daily that when something bigger wants to shift it doesn’t take quite as much effort or time. It still takes effort; don’t get me wrong, but all things considered, a less-than 24 hour shift is pretty dang good.

Something I noticed as I was going through my emotions yesterday: there are times when I feel and observe, and there are times when the emotions overwhelm and there is no (or it feels like there is no) chance of stepping out of them to observe: they are inundating. Yesterday was the latter; these do not come frequently for me (again…Thank God).

However, yesterday was different than other times that emotions have been overwhelming. It’s difficult to explain, but even though I could not step out of the emotions, I was able to recognize that I was in them and unable to step out of them. It was like an observation step before the actual observation, not observing but recognizing the need for it. I was able to be at least a little bit on the edges of it. It was odd. I am optimistic that this awareness is a bridge I am building between drowning in inundating emotions and being able to observe them simultaneously…something I have never experienced before.

Interestingly…I talked about this on Day 09 of this Journey: “I’ve been learning to remove “me” from “my thoughts” or “my feelings”. It’s not, of course, that I remove the thoughts or feelings—they just keep coming!—but that I am more in touch with that anchor of stillness.”

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