“A Fresh of Breath Air”: Journey of the Heart 2.0 – Day 09

Journey of the Heart - Day 09 Susan Billmaier for susanwithpearls
Journey of the Heart – Day 09
Susan Billmaier for susanwithpearls

Guiding Thought

Gratitude strikes my heart like a bell, resounding love through my being.

Gratitude opens my heart to Love’s purity, my very own essence!

I experience such deep gratitude for my heart, my essence, my ALL of Life!

Play the Guiding Thought here (loops automatically). Journey of the Heart audio created by Brad Vanlandingham for Susanwithpearls:




Before doing todays contemplation/drawing I took my usual bath, did my breathing…my morning routine. While I was doing that, from out of nowhere popped into my head the first paragraph of Søren Kierkegaard’s Purity of Heart is to Will One Thing. This paragraph was so important to me at one point in my spiritual process that I copied it, framed it, and hung it on my wall to read every day. It is so beautiful and worth reading, it’s bringing tears to my eyes even now as I read through it again. I’ve copied it below, but you need not read its entirety to understand its connection to today’s Guiding Thought; just take in the title of the book: Purity of Heart is to Will One Thing.

The two words that were prominent as I listened to the Guiding Thought and drew today’s picture were purity and resounding. I wanted there to be movement (resounding, vibration). I focused on purity. I thought about purity flowing through me, vibrating out from me.

I realized with all of this (Kierkegaard and the Guiding Thought), that I must make an addition to Why Journey of the Heart .  The addition is purity, to be pure of heart, to will one thing (by the way, the one thing for Kierkegaard is “Father in Heaven”, “Thee the One, who art one thing and who art all”.)

I think Kierkegaard popped into my head to let me know I was not being as pure as I could be. It was a difficult self-assessment to see this and also that “something was being placed in between”. Let me give it to you, as I saw it, in a nutshell:

The reason I do these Journeys…the reason I do my spiritual practices…the reason I serve people with workshops, healing sessions, spiritual coaching, etc., is to serve God, to “will one thing”. The reason to do spiritual purification, fasting, mantras, etc., is to become a clearer channel for God’s Will. The practices, the purification, the work, is an offering to God, so that I can serve God better. My gifts of devotion to God, are to receive more God, to be able to give more God.

But something has gotten in the way, namely, that I am looking to transition out of my day-job and do spiritual teaching/healing full-time. My gifts of devotion became about something else, about that transition (Thank goodness I’ve caught this quickly!). I was no longer willing one thing (the Heavenly Father); I was willing transition.

This of course brings up a lot of questions for me: How does willing one thing relate to manifesting my heart’s desire? How do I balance willing one thing and wanting something? How do I will one thing, give that one thing in service, and maintain integrity about it as I receive money for it? These questions are not new to me. I feel like I have been chipping away at them for years. I want to get it, and get it right, so I am willing to go slowly. I am thankful for this Journey opening me up to looking at these questions in a new way, offering me new insights.

I am thankful for the new year. For 2016, I have renewed my dedication to the practices, renewed and invigorated my devotion. This Journey of the Heart is bringing it together, making my commitments solid, firm, and stable, despite this Journey feeling more arduous than expected.

Oh, and one more thing, since I SO enjoy sharing when I receive validation from nowhere that I am on the right path: I came across this writing from Atreya Thomas (Revealing the Absolute), which (to me) really supports, with different words, the idea that Kierkegaard expresses. Atreya says, “You have to create a concrete form of God and pour yourself into it. An all-knowing benevolent symbol that has complete control. Surrender then to It destroying any sense of individuality and personal will. Then one can merge with Lord which becomes you. Make your desire for God’s Grace the only desire. This desire for God is the personal will, willing its own destruction.” See the full article (worth it) here: http://bit.ly/1OgzngR

Purity of Heart is to Will One Thing. -Søren Kierkegaard

“Father in heaven! What is a man without Thee! What is all that he knows, vast accumulation though it be, but a chipped fragment if he does not know Thee! What is all his striving, could it even encompass a world, but a half-finished work if he does not know Thee: Thee the One, who art one thing and who art all! So may Thou give to the intellect, wisdom to comprehend that one thing; to the heart, sincerity to receive this understanding; to the will, purity that wills only one thing. In prosperity may Thou grant perseverance to will one thing; amid distractions, collectedness to will one thing; in suffering, patience to will one thing. Oh, Thou that giveth both the beginning and the completion, may Thou early, at the dawn of day, give to the young man the resolution to will one thing. As the day wanes, may Thou give to the old man a renewed remembrance of his first resolution, that the first may be like the last, the last like the first, in possession of a life that has willed only one thing. Alas, but this has indeed not come to pass. Something has come in between. The separation of sin lies in between. Each day, and day after day something is being placed in between: delay, blockage, interruption, delusion, corruption. So in this time of repentance may Thou give the courage once again to will one thing. True, it is an interruption of our ordinary tasks; we do lay down our work as though it were a day of rest, when the penitent (and it is only in a time of repentance that the heavy-laden worker may be quiet in the confession of sin) is alone before Thee in self-accusation. This is indeed an interruption. But it is an interruption that searches back into its very beginnings that it might bind up anew that which sin has separated, that in its grief it might atone for lost time, that in its anxiety it might bring to completion that which lies before it. Oh, Thou that givest both the beginning and the completion, give Thou victory in the day of need so that what neither a man’s burning wish nor his determined resolution may attain to, may be granted unto him in the sorrowing of repentance: to will only one thing.”