“Onion Skins and Diamonds”: Journey of the Heart 2.0 – Day 19

Journey of the Heart - Day 19 Susan Billmaier for susanwithpearls
Journey of the Heart – Day 19
Susan Billmaier for susanwithpearls

Guiding Thought

Gratitude strikes your heart like a bell, resounding love through your being.

Gratitude opens your heart to Love’s purity, your very own essence!

Experience such deep gratitude for your heart, your essence, your ALL of Life!

-Play the Guiding Thought here (loops automatically).
Journey of the Heart audio created by Brad Vanlandingham for Susanwithpearls-


When I started these Journeys, one of the things I was very conscious of wanting to explore, to learn, is the connection between concepts. For example:

  • How does my connection with my heart impact or influence how I feel about my purpose?
  • How does following (or not following) my purpose impact or influence how I feel about my self-worth?
  • How does my self-worth impact or influence my abundance?
  • How does abundance bring about feelings of freedom or gratitude?

Every concept on each Journey intersects with every other concept >uh-oh< I feel a Punnett square coming on:

Copyright Susan Billmaier 2016 Created for susanwithpearls.com
Copyright Susan Billmaier 2016
Created for susanwithpearls.com

This is a pretty good visual about how all of the Journeys this year can relate to each of the other Journeys. Notice that even though there is a duplication of the themes, the feeling is different. What I mean by that is that even though (for example) Heart and Purpose interact twice, there is a nuanced difference between “how Purpose interacts with Heart” and “how Heart interacts with Purpose”.

But here’s the thing…it’s almost never this direct or linear. Heart is always interacting with Purpose, always interacting with Worth, always interacting with Fulfillment, Healing, Abundance, and Freedom all at the same time. In other words, as you are going through Journey of the Heart, you are being prepped for those other Journeys through the heart. Then, when we get to Purpose, it is interacting with all those other Journeys, and so on through each Journey. So it really is more like a web. I may have to draw that some time!

What this means is that there is always a lot going on. The Guiding Thought today is all about Gratitude, but the Journey is about the Heart; there’s a connection. Every Journey interacts with every other Journey; each Journey takes you deeper into itself, while preparing you to look at something from another Journey in a new way.

I mention all of this because this Journey of the Heart has been working deeply on me, in many different ways. I feel it affecting my purpose, my abundance, my understanding of courage and freedom, and yet I have nothing tangible to show for it; I have only these deep subtle feelings. They are feelings of movement, of a dynamic force at work within me, waiting for just the right time to really show itself in a way that will benefit me.

There is so much that is so subtle. Sometimes the subtle feels overwhelming—how funny is that? But really, I can feel the subtlety, but I don’t know what it is. The not-knowing can be mysterious and uncertain, and uncertainty can feel scary.

There is a saying in the Buddha Dharma about the Buddha being the refuge. What this has meant to me, is that Buddha-God-Christ is the safe place, the anchor. Sometimes Buddha-God-Christ feels like the only safe place. I’ve found myself relying on my Divine refuge recently, because I’ve been in a whirlwind of subtlety.

I am very grateful for friends who remind me to seek this refuge.

Let stillness prevail!



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