“The House that Love Built”: Journey of the Heart 2.0 – Day 30

Journey of the Heart - Day 30 Susan Billmaier for susanwithpearls
Journey of the Heart – Day 30
Susan Billmaier for susanwithpearls

Guiding Thought

Our heart-love establishes our inner-peace.

Solidly grounded in our own inner-peace, we approach all of life with love, compassion, and wisdom.

We live as our Self, shining with the beauty of the Love we are!

-Play the Guiding Thought here (loops automatically).
Journey of the Heart audio created by Brad Vanlandingham for Susanwithpearls-



*I apologize in advance for my language—sometimes certain words express the best.

Recently I was feeling sorry for myself. There was nothing that was different than what I would call “normal”, no obvious impetus to the feeling, nothing that happened. I honestly do not know what the pre-cursor was…

I wallowed for maybe 10 minutes, during which time I thought about why—suddenly—I was feeling this way. Realizing that nothing had happened to instigate the feeling, I had to wonder how real the feeling was. It was almost like the feeling was the memory of a feeling but not the real feeling itself (of course, this pre-supposes feelings are “real” in any way, but we can debate that another time).

I know I have felt this way, this poor-me-self-pity, but it has been a long time. It has to do with feeling overwhelmed with responsibility, overwhelmed with feeling like there’s not enough time to get things done, then feeling stuck because with the feeling of time-constraint I have to prioritize my tasks—and how do I do that? It has had to do with feelings of not being supported or cared for, in the sense of LIFE, or GOD not supporting me, not of a person (although the projection onto another person had been part of the feeling until I evolved past it).

So, I knew all this as I sat there and wallowed. I looked at all these things in those few minutes and remembered…and felt…and thought…and remembered…and felt…and realized I was being a pussy.

Some part of my little head shook me and said, “You are past this. Get over it. Get over yourself. Get up. Do what you need to do. Be happy. This is stupid.”

Then the important thought came: “I cannot serve when I am wallowing in self-pity. I cannot serve God; I cannot serve my family; I cannot serve humankind. Self-pity serves no one”.

What is more, service makes me happy. I was recently told that, speaking in terms of numerology, being service-oriented is part of my make-up, as well as taking care of others. It makes sense to me that I am the kind of person that gets great joy out of service.

Since I want to be happy, and since I realized self-pity does not serve anyone, and since service makes me happy, I pulled myself up and put myself to work, in the service of God. All I did is sweep the porch keeping my mind and task focused on God. That was enough. The smallest task, dedicated to God can bring great joy, restore balance, and instill harmony.

The trick is remembering, then being willing to pull myself up.

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