Of ourselves we are nothing, yet in union with Inner Divine Mind, through our Own Loving Presence, we are everything and have everything. As we infuse our consciousness with Knowledge of our Inner Divine Mind, our activity expresses this Union and we experience life. We breathe in this life. We smile with Joy and Gratitude, and affirm: “We LIVE.”
I have something stewing. I can feel it. My inner mind is really chewing on something. I am a little reluctant to share it, though, because it’s vague and incoherent in my own head–what sense will you make of it? Of course, I have to share it now, right? Good luck with this, let me know if you can help with the sense-making.
Here are my pieces (ingredients, if you will) at this point:
- Faith: my crisis, as I’ve mentioned, was about faith. How do I know if I have faith? What is faith? How does faith show itself in my life? How do I know if what I am doing is doing anything? How do I know what matters? Do you ever ask yourself questions like this? I feel faithless. I feel faithless because I don’t know what faith is, how to identify it, or how it behaves in my life. My crisis had a lot to do with, “I do so much! Where is it getting me?” It feels a bit paradoxical, because of the whole, we are everything and have everything. How do I lack faith and accept that I am and have everything?
- Furthermore, at the time of my crisis, my dear one at home reminded me of the verse from Luke 17:“And the Lord said, ‘if ye had faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye might say unto this sycamine tree, Be thou plucked up by the root, and be thou planted in the sea; and it should obey you.’”
So, this means, of course, that I have faith less than a mustard seed, but I’m working on it.
- Then another Bible verse came up, this from time Matthew 21:
18 In the morning, as Jesus was returning to the city, he became hungry. 19 Seeing a fig tree by the roadside, he went up to it but found nothing on it except leaves. He told it, “May fruit never come from you again!” And immediately the fig tree dried up. 20 When the disciples saw this, they were amazed. “How did the fig tree dry up so quickly?” they asked. 21 Jesus answered them, “I tell all of you[n] with certainty, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only will you be able to do what has been done to the fig tree, but you will also say to this mountain, ‘Be removed and thrown into the sea,’ and it will happen. 22 You will receive whatever you ask for in prayer, if you believe.”
Jesus was hungry, and when the fig tree didn’t have any fruit, He shriveled the fig tree, then told his disciples, “You can do this, too, and you can throw mountains into the sea, if you want. Just have faith.”
- Then I got confused. What is Jesus doing using the power of faith to shrivel a fig tree because he’s hungry? Isn’t that “bad” to kill the tree because it didn’t have what he wanted, when he wanted it? How is that loving and kind? Isn’t this misuse of “power”, of faith??
- Then the line from A Course in Miracles popped in my head, “Christ-control can take over everything that does not matter, and Christ-guidance can direct everything that does, if you so choose”. This reminded me that there are things that do not matter. There is a strain of teaching within A Course in Miracles that shows us how the mind mis-creates. In this (relative) reality, we experience these mis-creations through fear, stress, or doubt (which is all simply showing us that these experiences are not real, i.e. that they are mis-creations). The thing (form/circumstance/experience) that you have mis-created does not matter: Who you ARE is not affected by the mis-creation, you are still LOVE. Period. But the fact that you have mis-created indicates that you are not creating with your Christ-mind–and that is what God/Jesus wants us to learn. And too, vice versa: when you create with your Christ-mind, in Union with It, then the outer-effects also do not matter, because their Source is ultimately the Christ-mind.
- So, then I had to decide that Jesus shriveling the fig tree did not matter, because clearly, he used his Christ-mind. Right?
- This brought up a whole bunch of letting go, of not worrying about mis-creating. I do that a lot, you know. I “don’t want to create, because what if I do it wrong”. That’s one of my hang-ups. The example of Jesus and the fig tree tells me don’t worry about the outcome of mis-creations. Worry about using and working in union with my Christ-mind.
- Finally, I am not sure where/how this fits, but one morning, recently, I was doing something (I don’t even remember what it was, but it had to do with healing), and I got one of those, message/voices in my head. It was kind of chuckling at me, and it said, “you still think you’re doing something”. And there was a little bit of an “smh” with the chuckle. It was good-natured and humorous. I think it was Rafael, because from what I understand, he’s the “most sociable” Archangel. And he likes people and will interact. The message felt playful and light, and like he was just pointing it out to me… nope, not you, only God heals. Get over yourself. Get this. Learn.
And so…I learn. And, honestly, I can feel it–I am learning. I am getting it. It’s not together, the stew’s not done; it has a way to go. But…really…we are so amazing. We are everything and have everything. Get THAT in faith, and feel your Self.