My Purpose is to awaken to the Truth within me and share it. The Truth within me–My Inner Divine Mind–flows constantly and purely. As I go deeper in my awareness, the current of this broadens, strengthens, and brightens. It fills me and pours forth. This is My Source, the Source of all my good, all my happiness, and all my abundance. I awaken to My Inner Divine Mind and invite it to express itself as every person and event that will increase my awareness of it.
Enough of this gentle “awaken” crap. I want to just slap the shit out of being asleep and wake the hell up.
I’m a bit riled up today. I feel a bit angry, a bit impatient. Can you tell?
How am I supposed to encourage you to be the Truth within you and let your Inner Divine Mind flow, when I can’t do it for myself? Is this hypocrisy? Is it process? Am I being as authentic as I can be? What more can I do? Is there more to do, or is there just continuing? Am I only frustrated because I think I want something else? Am I standing in my own way? Is my mind my problem? Are old patterns and expectations my problem? Am I only impatient because I (think I) want something I have defined that is not aligned with God’s plan for me?
There are a lot of teachings that talk about the flimsiness of the illusion, the narrowness of the gap, the thinness of the veil (between the Real reality of us and the relative reality of what we experience). Sometimes (like today), it’s as though I can see how flimsy, narrow, and thin it is, but I just can’t get through it, across it. I know how absurd my anger and impatience are; I know this is just part of the process; I know I am the expression of My Inner Divine Mind…but I feel like my experience is not full, not what it’s “supposed” to be, not what I want it to be. And I don’t know if I should push and try to get through the veil, over the gap, or if I should just wait…patiently.
Easier said than done: Either way, whether I should push or wait, easier said than done.