Here we go again!
These Journeys are really a labor of Love. I love myself SO MUCH, that I want to fill my mind with the best thoughts I can; I want to learn what makes me tick, so that I can decide if it’s actually how I want to tick. I want to learn about myself, grow, and simply do the best I can in this life, right here, right now.
But I, like many people (indeed, dare I say, many women), have bouts with low self-esteem, insecurities, de-valuing myself, in general simply feeling not good enough. Worth…less. In a very cut and dry way, this is why Journey of Worth. I am not worth-less; I am WORTH EVERYTHING…Through the Journey, I hope to convince all parts of myself this is true, to shine the light in those places that have been denied, have been told they “don’t deserve” this or that, and to transmute those places through my loving awareness and acceptance.
Which brings me to the second point: as I reflected on the last Journey, I realized that I do this (devaluing) to myself, even as I strive not to (how crazy is that?). Somehow, the very act of striving to become better implies I am not good enough here, now. That was my realization, and what I am going to work to change through this Journey.
Just because there is something I am becoming, which I imagine to be a more ideal version of my current self, does not mean that my current self is any less valuable than the future, ideal self. In the tension between becoming and being, I must maintain equal love and acceptance both of who I am and of who I am becoming.
Why are you doing Journey of Worth? What do you already know about yourself, regarding your self-esteem, your self-valuing? In what types of situations do you feel worth-less? How do you typically handle yourself and those situations? When did you first begin to put yourself down in those kinds of situations? Are you able to STOP when it’s happening, and shift yourself out of it? Are you the same or different in this regard than you were 5 years ago, or 10?
Be well. Be gentle with yourself. You are infinitely lovable.