My worth is inestimable, beyond compare!
I always know I have everything to give—thus, I may always give freely! I know my worth, I give it; I give it freely, and I Know in the giving!
As I give, I learn, allowing Joy and Peace to lead and to guide me. I follow willingly for I know: Where there is Joy and Peace, there is Love; where there is Love, I am; where I am, I am giving my inestimable worth.
Do you believe the first sentence above? What do you feel about saying to yourself, “My worth is inestimable, beyond compare”? Some days I know it and believe it more powerfully and concretely than other days.
For me, having been raised in the Catholic tradition, I find the Christian idea of God’s Love very useful in feeling, understanding, and knowing my worth. Julian of Norwich said, “God loved us before he made us; and his love has never diminished and never shall.” There is something about the assurance of God’s Love that gives me assurance of my worth. If God loves me, am I not worthy of God’s love? And, if I am worthy of God’s love, is that not all that matters?
And yet, the same Catholic tradition uses words like, “wretched” and “unworthy” to describe people, and our interactions with God: “Lord, I am not worthy to receive you, but only say the word and I shall be healed” (Matthew 8:5-13). “Yea, O Lord, hearken unto me, thy sinful and wretched servant, in confession and conscience; grant me, when I arise to be instructed in Thy sayings” (Prayer IV, St. Macarius the Great). Too often, when I was fully immersed in my Christian upbringing, I held on to the ideas of “wretched” and “unworthy”. Indeed, I prayed, as a “good Christian” in this way to convince myself of my wretchedness and unworthiness! My young, impressionable mind took in these words whole-heartedly!
It took me a long time to understand these feelings are meant to be transcended, and they are given to us so that we might embrace God’s love fully, in all we are, in all that we do.
This is part of forgiveness; this is what repentance is about. Forgiveness is seeing ourselves and others from God’s perspective: we are Divine and Perfect in all we are and all we do; He orders our lives as He Wills, and loves us as we do His Will; there is nothing for God to forgive, for we are already His, already doing His Will. Repentance means, “to turn away”; when we repent, we turn away from our purported wretchedness and accept God’s love for us–we accept ourselves as God created us.
For a long time, I thought it good and right to pray to God, “Lord, I am not worthy to receive you, but only say the word and I shall be healed”. But then it occurred to me: If I am healed, I have received. If I have received, I am worthy. So despite myself, God finds me worthy, giving Himself to heal even those parts of me that deny my worthiness to receive Him.
Why does all this matter? Because we must find ourselves worthy. We must find ourselves worthy. Everything else hinges on this. We can only give as much as we believe to be true about ourselves. Love is infinite, and we are infinitely worthy of this Love.
Love yourself. Love your Self. Love.