This has been a really, really good after-Journey break.
I generally use the Afterword to assess “how I did” on the recently ended Journey. One thing about assessment: This is not a time to be critical of yourself in a negative way! Assessment does not mean judging something as “good” or “bad” (at least in this case); it does mean thinking about “where I was” and “where I am”, then using that as a springboard for “where I am going”, in a completely, open, loving, and accepting way. That’s right: I am saying to be open, loving, and accepting of yourself and your process. Assessment also looks at what I committed to at the beginning of the Journey, and if I followed through; in other words, did I keep the agreements I made with myself?
I am finding more and more that the “where I am going” becomes revealed through the Journey. The Journey itself becomes a springboard for the next Journey. The “where I am going” is not so much that I am deciding where I want to be, as it is that I am allowing myself to be lead to where I (really) want to be.
Let me demonstrate by going through my own process, so you can see it:
Where I was: There were two main points that I focused on, when I began Journey of Worth 2.0:
General self-esteem and overall self-value (Self-love)
Understanding that just because I am not as “good” as I want to be (“expectations”), I should not devalue who/what I am now (i.e. valuing the being equal to the becoming)
Where I am: I am different than I was when I started this Journey. This is the first time that the difference from beginning to end is so clear to me. Here is what I have been experiencing, which is different than it/I was 8 weeks ago:
There have been several times over the past 8 weeks when I spontaneously and for no reason have thought, “I love myself”. Then, realizing what I have just thought, I began to think about how that is actually true. I love myself. I think about who I am as a person; I think about how I have good will toward others; I think about my personality, my general demeanor and I actually like and love myself. Now, this only lasts for a few minutes in that bubble of realization, but nonetheless, there has been a bubble of realization a few times, without trying!
It has been easier to center myself in Love in both “normal” and “difficult” situations. This is what I mean: when I am going through my day, with family, colleagues, random people in stores, etc., I do my best to hold love in my mind and heart during the interactions, asking Love to be present, offering myself with a quick thought of, “how can I be helpful?” I don’t always remember, and I do not always sustain it for the entire interaction. BUT, I’ve been remembering more; it’s been easier (effortless) to remember; and I can remember to hold it longer. In addition, there have been a few stressful/difficult situations where I was able (simply) to do it–remembering Love while being stressed has not always been quick or easy, but it seems to be becoming more so.
I don’t seem to be as worried about the future. I seem to have less personality-investment in what I want, or in how I want something. Let me take a moment to explain why this is important for Journey of Worth: The ultimate worth is Divine Love, and allowing Divine Love in my life. When I allow Divine Love, then Divine Love is what I experience. Divine Love is bigger than me, bigger than anything I can currently understand; It has a much better idea of what is best for me than I do. When I am worried about the future, I am not allowing Divine Love to flow, with its greater knowledge of what’s best for me. Not investing myself in my future means allowing Divine Love in my life, and all of the worthwhile things it brings.
Did I keep my agreements with myself? In the Commitment and Dedication, I committed to these things: 1) a daily prayer for Divine Love and Light for all of the 7.125 humans on the planet 2) a change to the practice of earth, and working out. How did I do? 1) I did accomplish the prayer for Divine Light and Love for all humans on the planet each day. However, there were days when I “didn’t feel it”, days when it was difficult to accomplish, days when I felt like my mind and heart were not “fully into it”. On these days, when it was difficult or I wasn’t fully “there”, I acknowledged how I felt, acknowledged my feelings, acknowledged that I was doing the best I could at that moment, did the prayer, and then moved on, with the intention of being able to do it better. 2) I have been working out, although I have missed some of my scheduled days. I have also not maintained the “very healthy” diet I had wanted to (somewhat, mostly, but not completely). I am satisfied with what I have done, but I recognize the need to continue, and the need to continue to improve.
Where I am going: During the 10 days of rest, there is a deceleration on the one hand (from the just-ended Journey), and an acceleration on the other hand (the Journey that is about to begin). In this case, I have felt the acceleration in the form of recurring thoughts from the recent Journey. Which thoughts? These:
Transformation through the light of Love is the only way to change the pain, suffering, guilt, or blame in anyone, at any time. Transformation, transmutation changes everything. This is the secret to dispelling karma, this is the secret to unraveling death, this is the secret to getting out of the birth-death cycle: Love. Transformative, transfiguring, transmuting LOVE. The old is gone. Love remains. Love is all there is. (See Of Course, Of Course)
This is where I leave you in suspense. This is the springboard to Why a Journey of Healing. June 6th is the day I begin; I hope you join me!
P.S. I just realized my days are off. June 6 gives me an 11 day break, instead of a 10 day break. Ooooops! But, it has been June 6 on the calendar since January, so June 6 it remains. See you then! With Love to you and happiness and gratitude for all you are!