“Anger And Doubt on The 1st Day out, Really?”: Journey of Healing 2.0 – Day 01

Copyright Tam Black 2016 Designed for susanwithpearls.com
Copyright Tam Black 2016
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

Cracking The Oyster

Happy Wednesday! Welcome to Day 01 of a brand new Journey…and what a Journey this is going to be!

After having edited today’s article, I sat and thought about what to do about the pictures for this Journey of Healing; as a general rule I always do something different, building on, or from, a previous theme. This time, I needed to not do that in order to stick with what Sus was speaking to.

This is a re-framing; it’s calling on focus and erasure at the same time, though the erasure is not total… yet anyway. Sus said, “I know there are images and ideas lurking, hiding, that I have not wiped away.” So, for this Journey, or at least for this part of this Journey, I’m “reframing” previous pictures in a new way as a visual accompaniment to this thought process. Just as Sus changes throughout the Journey from day-to-day, round-to-round, so do the pictures…and so it goes with this Journey, as well.

Grab yourself a temperature appropriate beverage, get to your favorite cushy reading spot, and as always…




Guiding Thought

I clear my mind of all past notions of what I think healing is. I erase all memories and stories from my thoughts, leaving only a clean slate. I turn my attention to my Inner Divine Mind and I ask, “What is healing”? I wait and listen in silence; I take my attention deeper into the vastness of Divine Mind and ask again, “What is healing?”, “What is wholeness?”, and “What is holy?” I wait and I listen. Feeling stillness, I simply pause in the quiet and await my answer.



“I clear my mind of all past notions”. I clear my mind. I clear my mind. I clear my mind.

But when I do that, I fear. I fear I disappear. What am I without my past notions? What am I without a past? Who am I if I erase my memories and stories?

I started the clearing, the erasing. I erased the yogi who can heal a crowd, taking on everyone’s illnesses. I erased my Reiki master. I erased my knee healing. I erased Rafael. I erased Vatukay. I erased fasting. I erased Jesus raising Lazarus and telling the man to pick up his mat and walk. I erased Babaji–do you know how hard it is to erase Babaji? And Jesus!?  I erased Mantra. I erased prayer. I feel like I want to cry. How can I erase all these masters, teachers, and tools which have been with me so long?

But I did. I did it. Every time an image came up, I took my giant eraser and wiped the slate. Now, I have a hose and sponge, and I am going over the slate again, because I’ve now written what I erased, and some of the images came back, and I need to make sure my slate is clean.

I know I haven’t gotten them all, though. I know there are images and ideas lurking, hiding, that I have not wiped away. Oh, well; I’ve done the best I can do right now.

“What is healing?”

I am glad that, in the end, I am simply pausing and awaiting my answer; I don’t need to have an answer right now. I don’t feel ready for an answer right now. I feel really unsettled, uncomfortable with all that erasing.

“What is healing?”, “What is wholeness?”, and “What is holy?” How sincerely do I want these answers?

Do I want these answers enough to give up anything and everything I think is true, that I think is right, that I have believed for a length of time?

How sincerely do I really want to heal? REALLY heal? Do I want to heal so much that I will give up what know about myself? Do I want to heal enough that I will give up myself?

What is healing? How can I question my sincerity on the very first day of the daggone Journey?

Now I’m mad. What is healing, that I am questioning my sincerity, feeling fearful, and timid? How can simply asking about healing do this? What is it within me that feels threatened?

How is clearing my mind and asking questions threatening? Now I need to know “what is healing”, that it can cause this kind of response within me.

Oh, Divine Mind within me: What is healing? What is Divine Healing? What is the experience of holiness, of perfect health, of wholeness?

And I wait. Welcome to day one. Let’s do this!