Learning by comparison: Journey of Courage 2017 – Day 15

This is a new learning happening. God is always calling us, drawing us close. It’s up to us to respond, and to learn how to stay in the reach of God’s Love, to keep our minds and hearts on Love, on where God dwells. We can choose to dwell with God, or not. I understood this from a new angle over the past several days.

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Copyright Tam Black 2015
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Guiding Thought

Be ready and willing, here and now, to be courageous. Release your mind’s idea of security, of “right” and of “wrong”. Allow your personality to dissolve and to become One with the Love that Is, everywhere. All false boundaries evaporate like mist in the sun as you devote yourself to the Oneness of Love.

Reflection

10 days ago, the last time I did this Guiding Thought, I was entering an intense week. At that time, I was very focused, very intense, very determined, very committed. There was an energy behind my practices that felt like a rip tide carrying me forward without effort from me. I could feel it pulling me, moving me, even supporting me. I could feel its intensity, could feel how it was affecting my practices. I was doing the same practices, I felt like I was “the same”, but something was different. At the end of the week, I felt a glimmer of the courage that I am striving for–I felt like the practices had lead me to a new understanding, a new confidence, and new “normal” about how I am able to interact with situations and circumstances, especially those that have an edge of conflict or tension.

That lasted the entire week, then it changed, or I changed. Something shifted. For the past few days, I have felt unfocused, drab, lackluster, dull, insubstantial, as though anything I learned during my intense week has evaporated. poof.

I am trying to wrap my head around this shift, as I go into the Journey today. Do I need to do something different? Did I do something wrong? Have I done something to make the intensity evaporate? I don’t know the answer to any of these, and what’s more, I don’t know if these questions are self-critical accusations, or if they are simply me, trying to assess the situation. I don’t know.

The shift does not feel like a roller coaster, as these things sometimes feel. I do not have strong emotions one way or another. I do not have strong thoughts one way or another. I just notice that I was intense… and now I’m not. I don’t feel blame or guilt, or desire for what was, or yearning for something to become. I really just want to understand, and to do the correct thing. I want to have the mindset that moves me forward, the intensity that brings about results, the stamina to see it through. And I don’t know what those things are right now–either in general, or relative to the past or the future. I just don’t know.

And this is why today’s Guiding Thought is important.

I need to be ready and willing, here and now, to be courageous. Whatever this is that is going on, I need to simply see it through, and have the courage to keep feeling. 

I need to release my mind’s idea of security, of “right” and of “wrong”. Whatever I did last week, whatever I am doing this week, it is all right. Everything is in its perfect divine place. My questioning, my wondering… feels a bit like doubt. There is nothing that is not perfect. Everything is supporting me right here, right now. 

This is the big reminder: Allow your personality to dissolve and to become One with the Love that Is, everywhere. It reminds me of Lesson 50 from A Course in Miracles: I am sustained by the Love of God, which says:

Here is the answer to every problem that will confront you, today and tomorrow and throughout time. In this world, you believe you are sustained by everything but God. Your faith is placed in the most trivial and insane symbols; pills, money, “protective” clothing, influence, prestige, being liked, knowing the “right” people…These things are your replacements for the Love of God. Do not put your faith in the worthless. It will not sustain you.

Only the Love of God will protect you in all circumstances. It will lift you out of every trial, and raise you high above all the perceived dangers of this world into a climate of perfect peace and safety. It will transport you into a state of mind that nothing can threaten, nothing can disturb, and where nothing can intrude upon the eternal calm of the Son of God.

Last week, I felt the Love of God protecting me, lifting me out of trials, raising me above perceived dangers. I felt it. I had it. And I know that it was a result of the intensity I was feeling in my practices.

But then my mind kicked in (perhaps the Course would say it was my ego?), and started questioning; it started going over the conflicted, tense situation. It started questioning the Peace and Love of God–it started doubting. And whoosh…

You see, we know that what we focus on increases, and becomes what and how we experience. It is not just false boundaries that evaporate like mist in the sun. You see, the law of correspondence works both ways. As soon as I began to doubt and question, as soon as I lost my faith, I was no longer allowing God’s Love to support and protect me. I cut myself off from that which sustains me. I felt like I was on my own, fending for myself, figuring it out all by myself. I was, but only because I had allowed my mind to insert doubt.

What I feel really good about? I know how to devote myself entirely to the Oneness of Love. I had a very solid practice and experience with this last week. I get that now, at a depth I have not had in a very long time. Entirely. 100%. Wholly. Devoted. To the Oneness of Love. I can do it again, deeper, longer. The Love of God knows no end, sustains infinitely and eternally.

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