Guiding Thought

We are safe in Divine Love’s assurance. We have the courage to face the ignorance and illusions within ourselves and root them out. We allow the Light of Love to enter our minds and hearts. Divine Love shines within us destroying anything false, transforming us from within.

Reflection

I am believe more and more of this “transforming us from within” stuff. It’s kind of weird. When I started doing spiritual practices over 20 years ago, I had faith that the practices produced a transformation, that somehow, I would change, life would become easier, I would manifest great things, all twists and turns of my life would be made straight.

There were many times and long periods of time that I did not think it “worked”, that I did not really believe, that I was so skeptical, but I kept on.

I am still skeptical sometimes. I still have periods of time where I feel lost. I have times when I feel alone and isolated. I have times when I wonder what it’s all about, and why I am doing what I am doing. I have times I feel sad, or anxious, or panicky. I still feel some times like I don’t know what I am doing, or why I am doing it, or I don’t know what I should be doing. Sometimes I feel like life is too big, like I can’t handle it. I feel like the mistakes I have made still affect me, and how do I get past and through them? Sometimes I feel like I am going to die and that really bothers me. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed. Sometimes I feel like I really need to change something in my life or I’ll go crazy. Sometimes I feel burdened or defeated or small. Sometimes when I feel these things recently, it feels more intense than I ever can imagine. How did doing so much spiritual work seem to make me more susceptible to intense feelings like these?

But I have to tell you: Despite all this, even through all this, my life is better. Somehow.

Somehow, my life is easier, and I’ve been noticing it. It’s actually tangible, but not in ways I can explain. It’s like this:

• The “old” problem that I used to have expressing my feelings and communicating….now I seem to be able to open my mouth and say what I need to say, and it’s all ok.
• The group dynamics are positive and flowing and people really like each other and get along famously!
• When I have a really rough bout, there is an underlying peace of mind
• I don’t think about worrying or being concerned. I just do stuff, and it all seems to work out very well, as though everything is flowing.
• Even when I experience a “problem”, it seems insignificant within 24 hours.
• I feel my body-energy flowing at odd and random times, without (seeming) provocation ….and…
• I can invoke my body energy to flow just by thinking about it
• My thoughts are more and more occupied naturally with thoughts that are loving, and I seem to speak lovingly without thinking about it.