What a day! What a discovery!: Journey of Courage 2017 – Day 35

Copyright Tam Black 2015
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

Guiding Thought

I am ready and willing, here and now, to be courageous. I release my mind’s idea of security, of “right” and of “wrong”. I allow my personality to dissolve and to become One with the Love that Is, everywhere. All false boundaries evaporate like mist in the sun as I devote myself to the Oneness of Love.

Reflection

This is hitting a nerve today. I am seeing how I am not able to feel/embody the Guiding Thought. But I am working on it, through it. Here we go!

I am ready and willing, here and now, to be courageous: Ok, yes. I am willing to be ready here and now to be courageous. I am not saying that I am courageous at the moment, or even that I am ready to be, but I am willing to be. And even that feels like a big step. Maybe I should back this up one more layer? hmmmm. yes. here it is: I am willing to do my best in this moment to be ready and willing to be courageous. I actually feel quite agitated, and annoyed, which are feel as though they are preventing a “full steam ahead” frame of mind. So. I’ll do my best.

I release my mind’s idea of security, of “right” and of “wrong”. Yeah, this is what hit the nerve. I feel very invested in my mind’s idea of security, buttressed by ideas of “right” and “wrong”. But more than that: for some reason, I feel wrong. I feel like I did something wrong. I feel angry with myself that I did something wrong, or that I think I did something wrong. 

Well, that’s interesting. Do you see it? It’s my very investment (or “attachment to”) ideas of right and wrong that are causing my emotional unrest (anger/annoyance). YET, the investment is the same thing that is preventing me from releasing the very thing causing the emotional unrest. Whoa. My investment causes my turmoil, and even though giving up the investment will release the turmoil, I want to hold on to the investment, and hold on to the turmoil. Man, that’s screwed up.

What do I do with that?

I allow my personality to dissolve and to become One with the Love that Is, everywhere. Yes, I know that taking this step will accomplish the release of investment and the turmoil. How can “I” feel upset, when “I” only exist as Love? Yet, I am resisting (see above). What is this attachment I have uncovered today?? I now feel thankful about being able to uncover it, incredulous about it, and also curious. Thank goodness. I now feel more curious than angry or annoyed. At least that’s something. 

There seems to be a part of me that wants to feel “bad”. That wants to feel like I’ve done something wrong. And, that part is fighting against being released. Very interesting.

I think my personality is afraid of dying. It’s scared of dissolving. It’s scared of becoming unimportant. So, it’s creating a convoluted need for it, which basically says, “I’m in charge of you. I tell you what’s right and wrong. When you don’t listen to me, I need to put you in your place, and make you feel bad, so you know how right I am.” Whew.

I am now telling my personality how much I love it. I really do, too. I love my personality. But I can see how it might feel, if there were the possibility of it disappearing by dissolving. I am so sorry, my little personality, you don’t need to disappear, we just need to unify you with Love, so that everything you say, do, feel, and think will go forth as Love, as kindness, as caring, as peace and harmony, bringing that out into the world. I know that you want this too. I know you do not want to hold on to anger, or annoyance; I know you do not want your actions to be rooted in agitation. I know that you love yourself so much easier when you are flowing with Love. You do! We’ll work together to keep you in tact, as Love. 

One thing that I think may have brought this up is that I have been working with the thought, “May the mind that was in Christ Jesus, be also in you”. And, I’ve been thinking about other holy, anointed ones: saints, Bodhisattvas, Divine Beings…each of these holy ones have (and know they have) the same mind that was in Christ Jesus. Yet, each of these saints, Divine Beings, and Bodhisattvas all have different personalities, or different energies, or different expressions, or different “specialties” so to say. Sarasvati is the goddes of wisdom, art, and beauty; through these qualities is how she expresses her Divinity. Medicine Buddha has a personality that is dominated by healing, and assisting others in healing. Lakshmi evolved her personality with emphasis on Divine Abundance. Even though the same Infinite Mind resides in each of them, they have developed their individuality in such a way that their Love comes forth as particular qualities. Isn’t it exciting to think that this is what we are doing here: developing our individuality so that Love comes forth as particular qualities? Doesn’t it make you wonder how you will be in 5 years, 10 years, 30 years, or next lifetime, when you qualities are that much more developed?

All false boundaries evaporate like mist in the sun as I devote myself to the Oneness of Love. And now, this line excites me. I can’t say that my personality is totally on board, but I am so much better off than when I started. I am excited to allow false boundaries to evaporate, if it means further evolution into Love, into a full integration with Love. And I can now say with enthusiasm that I devote myself to the Oneness of Love. 

I love this process.

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