Guiding Thought

Divine energy nourishes you, heals you, and brings God into your mind and body. Enlightenment moves you, awakens your Soul, and firmly grounds you in all you do. Your energy creates your life experiences; your being is only love and light.

Reflection

I want to live in the space of this Guiding Thought. I want this description to be how every moment of my life is.

I feel like it can be; I feel like I am on an edge, where it’s possible. Yet, I am pulled constantly into the “reality” of fluorescent lights, chattering, and computer screens (or phone, or tablet…).

I feel like I am in a tug-o-war. On one side pulling me is the energy of enlightenment, and on the other stands the humdrums of “life”.

Even though the Guiding Thought says that “Enlightenment…firmly grounds you in all you do”, I feel instead like “all I do” distracts me from enlightenment.

At least today. I do not always feel this way. It has been particularly strong, this feeling of distraction, the past few days.

Am I “trying to escape” something? Am I just bored? Whatever “it” is, I am neither fully “in” one thing, nor fully “in” another. And that feels distracting too, as well as aggravating.

I am in this gray in-between space, I feel the pull of where I want to be (let’s call it Love and Light), but cannot follow it, because following it would mean closing my eyes and going within to feel it (which I can’t do while I am, for example, driving, at the store, or trying to fill out databases).

Yet it does not “seep” into my activity—it sits there on the edge of my consciousness, beckoning to me to pay attention to it.

Feeling divided in this way is wearying.

I know it’s all in my head. I know it’s just a “state of mind”. I’m not sure why exactly I stay in this state.

Even now, writing this, I am coming out of it. I can feel the difference—I am more alert, more able to feel the love and light coming through. Why am I not able to do this all the time? (I can feel a part of myself saying (screaming, really) what is wrong with me!? I am simply acknowledging this voice… no judgement!)

I am glad that I know to be patient with myself. I have it written down, in fact! “Your brain may resist and object, and try to muddle your understanding, getting you to give up. Just acknowledge this, write about it, and move forward.”

It’s so funny to me. I wrote those words to myself weeks ago, and have not looked at them really until today. But there they are, saying exactly what I need to hear, when I need to hear it. What is also funny, is that I took the advice: Today’s whole theme is “acknowledge, write, more forward…” before I found the words reminding me how to handle such a situation.

Thank goodness for my wiser self who looks after me! Thank goodness for my Self who listens!