The Peace of God is stronger than my self-constructed obstacles to it. I open my mind to holy communion with the Divine. Brought to union with God, obstacles crumble. Peace stands victorious. I am that Peace.
I felt like I had a lot of self-constructed obstacles to Peace just reading the Guiding Thought today.
The more I contemplated, and tried to commune with the Divine and offer up my obstacles, the more I created obstacles. My obstacles were creating more obstacles, then those obstacles created obstacles. What a loop! Instead of “crumbling” and dissolving, each crumble became a head of a hydra and grew back 9 more obstacles.
Here are some examples:
I need to just relax. How do I relax? Open my mind How do I open my mind? I am that Peace. How can I be Peace, when I haven’t figured out how to open my mind? The Peace of God is stronger than…If it’s stronger than these obstacles why do I have these obstacles? What is my mind doing? I know the answer is right here, right in front of my face. Why is it no working?
While all this was going on, there was a part of me that knew that I know, but that I was just not accessing it–very similar to a couple days ago.
In my conscious brain, I simply could not get further than the words. I had trouble feeling, and I had trouble understanding. But I also knew that I can understand, that I do understand.
The mind wants to make it difficult. the mind needs to be valued. So it does what it knows to do to be valuable.
It reminds me of those employees who create problems so they can “fix” them (so they have value), or the ones who nit pick about schedules (they have to have oversight, so they are “doing” something!), or the ones who make mountains out of molehills, to seem important, and “show” that they have really big ideas!
Funny how my mind’s antics can be seen in the “real” work-a-day world.
Maybe this is what my mind was showing me? maybe I need to recognize that the behavior I see outside of me, is the behavior inside of me.
While I was contemplating the Guiding Thought, I was also thinking: this is not difficult, I know how to do this. I’ve done this hundreds of times before.
What I was referring to was surrender. Letting go of self-created obstacles feels a lot like surrendering them at the alter of God, letting them go, asking for purification. I have worked a lot on surrender. Why did this day feel so difficult, so full of obstacles?
No answers today. Just more to contemplate. Oh, and don’t worry. I do, absolutely believe the Peace of God is stronger than this…even if I don’t understand it today.