Breadcrumbs (Purpose- 1.2.5)

Copyright Tam Black 2018
Designed for

Guiding Thought

My Purpose is to awaken to the Truth within me and share it. The Truth within me–My Inner Divine Mind–flows constantly and purely. As I go deeper in my awareness, the current of this flow broadens, strengthens, and brightens. It fills me and pours forth. This is My Source, the Source of all my good, all my happiness, and all my abundance. I awaken to My Inner Divine Mind and invite it to express itself as every person and event that will increase my awareness of it.


So far here’s what I’ve figured out on this Journey:

  • I have a higher purpose
  • to accomplish that purpose I must serve others
  • I am the only one responsible for my encouragement or discouragement
  • submitting to my Inner Divine Self, and letting it lead me is the most effective way to fulfill my desires, and have the highest possible encounters in all areas of my life (…but I still need to work through some distrust)
  • when I can embrace my purpose, and my Divine Self’s plan as though I have nothing left to lose, it’s the same feeling as being at rock bottom, with nowhere to go but up…each is the embodiment of surrender; one just feels like it’s my choice (embracing), the other one feels like I have no choice (hitting rock bottom).

I feel motivated. I feel like “I have nothing to lose”, and so I can just go for it. I still have some of the cowardly voices in my head, the voice of “How do you think you’re supposed to do that“….”But I don’t know what to dooooo >whining<” …….”This is SO big and so difficult; I don’t know where to start!”…. But it is surprisingly easier today to disregard them, and to recognize that they are the distraction. And I made some progress on my project!

Here’s what I think about today’s Guiding Thought:

It’s all about increase. I increase awareness…That increases the flow of Source (Divine Mind)…Then –I imagine– there’s this moment where my brain says, “hey, I like this. I want more!” and so that’s motivation to invite more…Divine Mind responds to the invitation by knowing what my awareness level actually is, and providing me with experiences of It that I can recognize. When I recognize It, I’ve just become aware, and the cycle of increase starts again! This time Divine Mind has a little more confidence in me, because I was able to recognize it the first time…and I didn’t just invite it in then ignore it…so the increase that happened during the first cycle gains more during the second cycle…. and keeps gaining as I continue to recognize and invite.

So now, I need to apply my understanding of this cycle to what I’ve learned so far–and to keep an eye out for the people and situations that will serve to increase my awareness of Divine Mind, my awareness of all the little breadcrumbs leading me down the path of my highest purpose.


Convergence (Purpose- 1.2.4)

Copyright Tam Black 2018
Designed for

Guiding Thought

My Inner Divine Mind is always expressing itself in all ways through my own Loving Presence. This is its True Nature, thus this is my True Nature. I turn to my Inner Divine Mind as the Source of my happiness, my purpose, and my fulfillment. I allow it to flow through my own Loving Presence and appear as all my activity, as every visible form and experience I desire.


When you’ve hit rock bottom, you have nowhere to go but up. ~ Pattie Mallette

Freedom’s just another word for nothin’ left to lose. ~ Janice Joplin

You are more powerful than your human mis-creations. ~ Patricia Cota-Robles

We should do our work with courage…Karma Yoga is what will make you like lions; it will make you strong in this life. ~ Babaji of Haidakhan


In a moment of convergence, I saw my true nature of my Inner Divine Mind coming through my Loving Presence as all of these–rock bottom, freedom, power, work, and courage–at the same time.

“Rock bottom” was realizing that I had not succeeded in the way I wanted to–on my (ego) terms, I had “failed”. The choices I had made in one particular area lead me to a void of nothing, quite literally.

I had accomplished nothing I had set out to do; there was nothing to show for my time, effort, or money. In an objective way, I had failed. (Subjectively, I was not beating myself up, or feeling like “a failure”, thank goodness.)

But realizing my failure freed me: I’ve got nothing to lose, might as well go for it. 

The going for it in this case is to be the power that is more powerful than my mis-creations–and believe me, this “failure” has been a mis-creation. I saw how changing my mindset, allowing Divine Mind to act through me could produce miraculous results.

In that moment of accepting that I am more powerful than my mis-creations, I saw and understood the real power that comes with uniting with my Divine Presence–and how not doing so is weak and cowardly… I have enough issues with God, and don’t really need to add “weak and cowardly” to those. My strength is the strength of Divine Will, Divine Love, Divine Mind. If I am not living in such a way that those come through me, then I am not being the person God created me to be…Living “its vision and plan for my life.”

Thus the distrust of yesterday completely dissolved, because this statement: I submit my mind and heart, all my thoughts, words, actions to my own Loving Presence to be lifted to its vision and plan for my life now makes perfect sense, and not only makes perfect sense, but is something that I can embrace wholeheartedly.

Please note, this is a real situation in my life at the moment (even though I’ve given scant details). How better to learn the practical lessons of Divine Truths than to apply them to an actual experience? To allow Divine Presence to flow through my own Loving Presence and appear as all my activity, as every visible form and experience I desire?

See how things work out? I’ll keep you updated!




Pocket of Distrust. (Purpose- 1.2.3)

Copyright Tam Black 2018
Designed for

Guiding Thought

I am now fully conscious of my own Loving Presence, which seeks expression through me. My own Loving Presence Knows my heart and Knows my happiness. It Knows how to fulfill my heart and bring me joy by placing me in right situations, with right people, at right times, where I may fully express my purpose. I submit my mind and heart, all my thoughts, words, actions to my own Loving Presence to be lifted to its vision and plan for my life.


Today’s inner dialogue:

It Knows how to fulfill my heart and bring me joy by placing me in right situations, with right people, at right times, where I may fully express my purpose…

where I may fully express my purpose…?

Wait a minute how did we get to expressing purpose? I thought I didn’t know what my purpose was, and that this Journey is helping me discover it…in which case, how do I express something that has yet to be discovered?

I must have missed something >reads Guiding Thought again from the beginning<. 

No, no, there is nothing there explicity about purpose, just about my own Loving Presence…again. Maybe that’s a clue. Ugh. I don’t feel like thinking. 

Let’s back up again…is there anything in the Guiding Thought that I disagree with? 

I am now fully conscious of my own Loving Presence, which seeks expression through me. Yup, I can agree with that, especially since the past two days have been primarily about this. 

My own Loving Presence Knows my heart and Knows my happiness. Yup, I can agree with that too–again, the past two days have worked with this idea.

It Knows how to fulfill my heart and bring me joy by placing me in right situations, with right people, at right times, where I may fully express my purpose. Yup. ditto. 

I submit my mind and heart, all my thoughts, words, actions to my own Loving Presence to be lifted to its vision and plan for my life. Ah ha. There it is. It’s not that I disagree with this… but in order for this to “work”, I have to make the decision to agree with this. I think I found my clue.

My purpose is to live with my Divine Presence, which means submitting to my Divine Presence–that’s why the past two days has been about fulfillment of desires, Divine Presence appearing as the perfect fulfillment of every single form, experience, situation, event, circumstance, condition, relationship, and sequence…blah blah blah.

It’s like the Divine presence is offering a carrot or candy…”hey, kid, you want your desires fulfilled…?” I am picturing Pinocchio being lured to Pleasure Island only to be turned into an ass.

Interesting. I’ve uncovered some distrust.

In order to accept this Guiding Thought in full, I have to a) trust that my Divine Presence is telling the truth about how It can fulfill desires b) believe that my Divine Presence can do it better than I can (otherwise, why would I submit to It?).

Ok, this is good. This is a new awareness about distrusting my Self that I can bring up and out. What’s interesting to me is that I also have a cultural reference that supports my distrust. How much more cultural support is there? how embedded is this distrust in my psyche?

Here’s the thing. I know the Guiding Thought is “right”. I know that submitting to my Inner Divine Self, and letting it lead me is the most effective way to fulfill my desires, and have the highest possible encounters in all areas of my life. But it’s not like I can just say, “OK” and it’s done, not if there are little pockets of distrust like I have just found. If left there, those pockets will sabotage my attempts to unite fully with my Inner Divine Self–self sabotage, so to say. The only way to get to 100%, like I talked about yesterday is to shine a light in those pockets and dissipate them, so that all remains is the Inner Divine Self. The transformation can happen over the next 36 days; i don’t need to do everything today. Awareness of the pocket of distrust is good enough for now.

What a productive day this has been.




Responsible (Purpose- 1.2.2)

Copyright Tam Black 2018
Designed for

Guiding Thought

My own Loving Presence is my Self. I turn my attention inward and become aware of my own Loving Presence. With my focused awareness, my own Loving Presence fills me, grows brighter, and grows warmer. I claim my Self with these words:

I AM My Own Loving Presence. My loving Presence is the Self of myself. I love my Self!

I want to give my Self everything it desires–and my Self wants the same for me. What do I desire, but total Peace, Freedom, Love, and Harmony? These are the infinite and eternal qualities of my Self! I am now aware of the inner activity of my own Loving Presence and I invite it to express itself through me and externalize in my life as circumstances, people, forms, and events that fulfill my desires.


Who is responsible for my life? I am.

Who is responsible for my happiness? I am.

Who is responsible for my direction and focus? I am.

Who is responsible for the circumstances, forms, and events in my life? I am.

That alone is heavy. How do I know what is best for me? How do I know what choices will bring me happiness, peace, abundance, fulfillment? How could I even begin to figure it out? …Trying to brings doubt and despair.

But I am not alone. I AM My Own Loving Presence. My loving Presence is the Self of myself.

That Self is real. I’ve been acquainting myself with my Self pretty regularly (daily) for a consistent two years. I used to be a lot more skeptical, much less in-tune with My Own Loving Presence. Now, I feel pretty confident in my relationship with my Self.

I started out today’s Journey totally in my head and distracted. But after I had turned my attention inward and become aware of my own Loving Presence, I felt It. Mostly, It’s like a buzzing in my mid- to lower-back, but I also feel a vibration-type energy at the top of my calves and in my feet. It’s more than “just me”.

But you know what I have not practiced much? Asking for help.

Those questions at the beginning…I’ve been answering those questions with thoughts like, “it’s all me”; “it’s all my responsibility”; “I have to do it all…alone”.

It occurs to me how ego-centered those thoughts are. Furthermore, how much they now seem like an excuse to remain a victim of myself, and feel sorry for myself.

“…See the ant. How small is the ant, yet how big a load she carries. You should not be dejected or disheartened. If we want, we can blow the whole of this mountain–if we all want, if we have Will. Don’t lose your hearts in this small Work. When you lose your heart, when you lose courage–this is death. Don’t lose courage. You can move the mountain.”

~Babaji of Haidakhan

I had lost courage, become disheartened. I see that now.

To feel sorry for oneself is of the ego–small, weak, without power.

To unite with the Self within, the Divine Presence within, is to unite with the Power which can move mountains. That’s also being responsible.


Where I’m At With What I’ve Got (Purpose- 1.2.1)

Copyright Tam Black 2018
Designed for

Guiding Thought

There is a Perfect Spiritual Idea of Perfect Fulfillment. My Inner Divine Presence Knows every form, experience, situation, event, circumstance, condition, relationship, and sequence that fulfills my desires. When I am diligent about maintaining my focus of desire on the loving benefit and fulfillment of all sentient beings, Divine Substance–which is the source of Spiritual Idea’s manifestation–flows through me and externalizes in my experience. Divine Presence appears as the perfect fulfillment of every single form, experience, situation, event, circumstance, condition, relationship, and sequence that I could possibly desire.


I forgot how intense this Journey is. Even I, after having done this Journey 3 previous times, could not–at first– digest that Guiding Thought today. “holy shamoly”, as Gary Drayton would say. So, let’s go back to basics and take it one step at a time.

There is a Perfect Spiritual Idea of Perfect Fulfillment. I grew up Catholic, and I always believed that God knows me better than I know myself, that He knows what is best for me, and that He has a perfect plan for me. Beyond my Catholic upbringing, as I matured and grew more in my in my spiritual understanding, I came to decide that I do believe there is higher (divine) intelligence operating in me and in the world. Thus, I am willing to accept this first sentence (premise) as acceptable.

My Inner Divine Presence Knows every form, experience, situation, event, circumstance, condition, relationship, and sequence that fulfills my desires. This follows from what I said above: there is a higher order and a plan to achieve it, and that includes all of the circumstances that would bring it about. The catch here is for me not to confuse my deepest soul desires (God’s plan) for worldly, material desires (my plan). The Divine Plan has my soul’s best-interest in mind. If I go through life deciding what I think is best for me, without knowing or understanding my soul’s best interest, then not only might I be sorely disappointed, but I may also come to convince myself that there “is no greater plan” (because if there were, why aren’t I getting what I want?) .

When I am diligent about maintaining my focus of desire on the loving benefit and fulfillment of all sentient beings, Divine Substance–which is the source of Spiritual Idea’s manifestation–flows through me and externalizes in my experience. The first question that comes to mind is: What does the “fulfillment of all sentient beings” have to do with me and with my divine plan and higher purpose? Why is the flow of Divine Substance contingent upon my focus on others? Here is how I currently answer these questions for myself:


If there is a Higher Divine plan (and we’ve established that there is), then it includes everyone and everything.

If I want my own Higher Divine plan to be accomplished, then I must act in such a way as to fulfill that plan for everyone and everything. My plan can only be accomplished if everyone else’s plan is also accomplished.


God acts in the world through people. Divine Love flows through us. That Love, through us, is what accomplishes Divine Plan.

Only when I serve others with Divine Love is the Divine Plan accomplished. I must act toward others as a servant of Divine Love to ensure the fulfillment of the Divine Plan.

Divine Presence appears as the perfect fulfillment of every single form, experience, situation, event, circumstance, condition, relationship, and sequence that I could possibly desire. This follows from the above three statements. If I am 100% in tune with God’s plan for me, and if I ensure 100% pure-giving of Divine Love to all beings, then I am “on track” to experience every possible perfect fulfillment.

Do you see the two rather obvious glitches in this? 1) I’m not at 100% for either count 2) If the fulfillment of Divine Plan is contingent upon everyone’s participation in Divine Plan (see above), then in order to experience 100% perfect Divine Plan, then everyone has to participate at 100%. We’ve got a ways to go.

God knows we are “not there” yet. And it’s ok. Here’s the really bright side: God responds to us with as much perfection as He can, for where we are, and what we give. That means that the more I attune myself to the Divine Plan, follow it as best I can, and share Divine Love with others to the extent that I am able, perfect fulfillment unfolds…perfectly for me (where I’m at, with what I’ve got).

Dedication and Commitment. Journey of Purpose (1.2.00)

Welcome to day 2! This is the second “prep” day–getting your mindset ready before spending 40 targeted days with your inner self.

The dedication is important in this process because it takes the focus off of just you. Sometimes when people do inner-work, it becomes self-involved to the exclusion of recognizing the inter-relatedness that all things have with each other; it can sometimes become the “it’s all about me” syndrome.  

The Journeys are structurally set up to counteract that mindset. The dedication is the first way it does this; the pronoun change in each round is the second way.

For the dedication, think about who will benefit, or how you want to benefit others, through becoming more self-aware about your purpose. For example,

  • perhaps it’s family members. If you gain a better understanding of your purpose, perhaps you will gain more direction in your life; perhaps you will be happier (“having a sense of purpose”), and your relationships will improve.
  • perhaps co-workers will benefit. If you have a greater sense of direction, then priorities and commitments will fall into place accordingly
  • perhaps, like me, you take a more universal approach, knowing that as you are lifted, all are lifted with you.

If you want some ideas, or need a sounding board, just talk to me in the comments, or even email me ( The bottom line is to think about how your self-improvement will improve others’ experience of you, or of themselves and their life. Then dedicate the Journey to those people, or that outcome.

The second part, the commitment, is about making a choice and sticking with it. It’s also about committing yourself to leaving behind old, worn-out habits, patterns, and behaviors, and opening yourself up to becoming a clearer, “higher”, more-authentic version of yourself. The minimum commitment that I recommend is to spend 5 minutes each day contemplating the Guiding Thought, and 5 minutes after that writing/reflecting.

Ready? Here we go!


I dedicate this Journey to my Heart. Having just spent 40 days opening my heart, embracing my heart,  listening to my heart, I feel that it has more to offer, more to tell me. My heart wants more of a piece of the action! I dedicate this Journey to my Heart, the silence in my Heart, to the ember-spark-flame within my heart, to the purpose of/in/within my Heart.

Speaking directly to my heart, I affirm: I invite your Love and Wisdom; I welcome your voice; I receive and accept your communication and guidance; I offer your gifts to All, to bless the world.


I commit to my own spiritual evolution, which includes all levels of consciousness, all time-frames and dimensions, all of my bodies (mental-emotional-physical-spiritual), and to my Oneness with All Life. To demonstrate this, I commit to spending a minimum of 5 minutes every day for the next 40 days contemplating the Guiding Thought, then writing/reflecting, and sharing it here.


Why A Journey of Purpose (1.2.0)

Greetings and welcome to the first day of Journey of Purpose. If you are new here, welcome; I’m glad you’ve found this little spiritual exercise. If you’ve done this before, welcome back! I am so glad you are here.

The first day is devoted to reflecting on your intention for this Journey: What is your purpose? Why are you here? 

My response is below.

While I hope that you might find something interesting in what I write each day, I hope more that  you are inspired to do these Journeys for yourself. My daily reflections are here to show you that there is no “right” or “wrong” way to do this, there is only the path, the journey, the expansion, the evolution. You’re on the path anyway, you might as well approach it with awareness, understanding, and a sense of adventure!

We are here to change the consciousness of humanity to greater Oneness, one mind and day at a time.

Why a Journey of Purpose

Isn’t the answer to “Why a Journey of Purpose?” inherent in the question? If I knew what my purpose is, I wouldn’t be doing a Journey, and I wouldn’t need to ask the question. Which means that I am doing a Journey of Purpose to self-evidently discover my purpose.

This is going to be the fourth time I have done this Journey. My why has changed each time. I tell you this to point out the progressive, evolutionary nature of these Journeys. The question may be the same, but through growth, perspective, learning, and personal progress, your relationship to the question will change, bringing about different answers.

I also tell you this because I feel more at a loss today than I did the last time I did this Journey. I just read the why for that Journey, and I sound so confident, so self-assured, so clear about understanding my purpose.

…and today, I feel as uncertain as I did when I was 13, looking up to the stars asking, “why am I here”?

You may remember during the recently-ended Journey of the Heart, that I mentioned I had insight through the heart about my purpose. Even that has changed.

I really feel like I am approaching this Journey as a blank slate. I don’t know what “my purpose” is; I don’t know how to define it; I have no goals in mind for this Journey; and the only answer I have to the question why is… because I want to learn, and I want to be open to my Highest Divine Purpose, unencumbered by expectations, definitions, my own prejudices.

This scares me a little, but I’m not sure why.

I can tell you, though, the exact passage that evaporated my thoughts about what I want(ed) for this Journey. The bolded lines below are the ones that are particularly pertinent; so much of my thoughts about purpose rely on being something. It seems I may learn how to be nothing and still fulfill a purpose:


You can Never Find Your Self When the Thoughts of Others and the Non-Existent Outer World Crowd Into Your Inner Space. One Must Learn to Meditate in Simple Empty Silence.

Here in the Heart and Mind, There is No Inner talk, There Are No Words or Feelings From Others Around You. There is No Desire To Do Anything, To Have Anything (which You Will Only Lose At “Death” Anyway). There is No Desire To Be Anything In the World. Not Even To Teach Other People Meditation. 

There MUST BE Nothing Inside You At All. The Monkeys Must Go To Play Elsewhere. So First Learn To Quiet The Heart and Mind of Desires and Thoughts.

In This Inner Stillness of Nothingness, The LOVE YOU ARE Will Surge Like Little Rivulets Turning Into A Cosmic Ocean Of Blissful Deepest Compassion.

You May Sit Still, Lie in the Bathtub or Flat on Your Back On a Bed. Eyes may Be Open or Closed.  The Physical Body is Not Moving At All. Neither is The Mental or Astral Emotional Body.

Only The Etheric Spirit Comes To You To Fill You With Emptiness. Bless Your Self and God. Feel the Opening to the Grace of God. Praise quietly the Beauty of All Creation. Grace, Mercy, Bountiful Praise, Humility-These Are the Golden Gateways to God!

~Joseph Barry Martin

Afterword (Heart- 1.1.41)

Journey of the Heart – Day 35
©Susan Billmaier for susanwithpearls

Whew. I just looked back at what I wrote for “Why a Journey of the Heart“. It now looks like a bit of a naive pipe dream. I didn’t “accomplish” any of what I wrote. Here’s why…

I feel like I’ve been in survival mode. Heart-based survival mode. This has been physically, mentally, and emotionally–I’ve felt like I’ve been barely hanging on.

Fully functioning, barely hanging on. Do you know that feeling?

Something about enlightenment: In order for Light to come through, we must remove the gunk in the way, and clean out the filters, so to say.

I have one of those bagless,  tunnel vacuum cleaners. To empty it, all I have to do is detach the “bucket” and shake it out. A bunch of dust bunnies and dirt slide right out, nice. But then I look into it, and there’s a funnel-cup at the bottom, where the tornado action sucks down all the very fine dander and dust particles. So I have to bang the bucket on the ground to get that out. Then there’s another little sponge-filter that traps even more fine dust and dander, so I have to rinse that under water, let it dry and put it back in. Finally, there is a HEPA filter that gets the micro-dust, allergens, and invisible crap. By the time the air comes back out of the vacuum, it’s been purified through four stages.

You are like the vacuum, but with energy instead of air. You pull energy into/through yourself, and it goes back out. You have “filters”–your mental, emotional, physical, and etheric bodies that process the energy as it goes through you.

Cleaning your mental-emotional-physical-etheric bodies is like cleaning the filters of the vacuum.

At one level of consciousness, for example, you are able to recognize the obvious stuff and clear it out, like emptying the “bucket” of the vacuum. At another level, you can see finer material that needs to come out, but it takes a bit of “banging”, as with the dander in the funnel cup. The stuff that is trapped in the equivalent of the sponge-filter, requires actual looking, and dismantling, because you can’t just see it; it’s hidden in its own compartment. The stuff trapped in the HEPA filter stage, that’s even more hidden. In fact, it’s invisible, and therefore unidentifiable as “something”.

This filtration in your body and energy is similar to a vacuum also, in that it depends on how clean the filters are to begin with, and how clean or dirty the environment is that you are vacuuming.

If your energy filters are dirty, and you enter a mentally-emotionally toxic environment, you may not feel a big change in your mental-emotional state. But if your filters are clean, and you enter a toxic environment, you will really feel it, because all of the sudden, that energy is flowing through you, and your filters become overloaded. There is a lot more to be said on this topic, but for now, I think you get the picture.

How this applies to my recent Journey of the Heart:

I do spiritual purification practices every day, these include, but are not limited to meditation, prayer, bathing, breathing, these Journeys. There are other practices that I do more intermittently, like fire, shaving my head, fasting. The bottom line is that I have been working for years to clean my filters; I consciously transmute as much energy as I can whenever I can–I want to keep things flowing, not get blocked, and allow the energy out in the highest, purest form it can be.

So, why was I a mess during Journey of the heart? Why was I in survival mode and barely hanging on? Why did I accomplish nothing I had set out to do?

The answer is, I believe, because I was cleaning my HEPA filter. There was energy buried deeply, out of sight. Finally, the rest of my filters were clean enough, and I have been doing enough of the Journey work to push that deep, invisible energy to the surface; there was space, a clear path, for that energy to come through and out.

Here’s why I think this: The artwork for this Journey was SO important, and so important to my “hanging on”. I could feel my subconscious working something out. There were no words, just feelings, which could only come out through the art.

Does this mean I am “better now”?

Well, I don’t feel like I am hanging by a thread anymore. I’ve made some new decisions to take care of myself, and to process those deep emotions*. I do feel clearer, less burdened, less “clogged”, but there is still a lot of energy I am feeling that needs to be filtered.

This is how we begin Journey of Purpose! Let’s do this. Onward!

Journey of Purpose begins February 22.

*I have been using a combination of this self awareness questionnaire, and a “defusion” process that unblocks energetic entanglements from the brain/body.



Journey of Purpose begins February 22

Journey of Purpose is the second of 14 Journeys that comprise the upward spiral Journey of the Soul, reconnecting a person with their heart, soul, Inner Divine Self, and to God. Each of the 14 Journeys is a way to explore your relationship with yourself, through a particular aspect (the topic of each Journey). The Journey-sequence is designed with a two-prong approach: to deconstruct the obstacles and barriers that a person has to their relationship with their Inner Divine, while supporting and strengthening that relationship.

Individually, and collectively, the purpose of the Journeys is to shift the consciousness of all of humanity from a consciousness of separation to a consciousness of Oneness. Where is your focus? Where is your attention? How do you want to approach people and situations? Journeys are a tool to remind you daily to approach with Love and Unity.

The cycle begins with Journey of the Heart (just ended), the home of the Divine Flame. We fan that spark, so that all subsequent Journeys are imbued with its light.

Journey of Purpose is the second in the series. Informed by new heart connections, we proceed to explore the path of purpose–higher purpose.

The Journeys take as little as 15 minutes each day. My role in this is to be here for you as a steady presence, reminding you of your potential, reminding you of your True Self, reminding you that you are on a journey to Know your soul. Join me. Start your conscious Journey.  Begin thinking about why a Journey of Purpose is important, what you hope to learn, and what you hope to accomplish.

See you on the path!

You will find everything you need for your own Journey on this site: instructions, inspiration, and Guiding Thoughts to assist you in focusing on you Higher Self. Email me with questions:


Hail Mary (Heart- 1.1.40)

Journey of the Heart – Day 40
©Susan Billmaier for susanwithpearls

Guiding Thought

My heart-love establishes my inner-peace. Solidly grounded in my own inner-peace, I approach all of life with love, compassion, and wisdom. I live as my Self, shining with the beauty of the Love I AM.

-Play the Guiding Thought here (loops automatically).
Journey of the Heart audio created by Brad Vanlandingham for Susanwithpearls-


Welcome to day 40! did you make it? It is so fitting for Journey of the Heart to end on Valentine’s Day, yes?

The 40th day is often a set of conflicting emotions for me. First, there is the relief, “oh thank god it’s over, and I’m done!” Then there is wondering: “I wonder how I did? What were my breakthroughs? How will this affect my life positively from here on out?” (I’ll explore such questions when I do the afterword). Then, there’s the excitement, “Oh YAY, now I get to start another Journey!”

I really am looking forward to Journey of Purpose. I feel like I really need to connect with my purpose. I am thankful that I have worked so diligently with my heart for the past 40 days. I feel confident in its guidance for my purpose.

So the picture today, what a mess, right? 🙂 It started as an infinity symbol. That turned into an Om. Then, the Om became an oil lamp (see the little flame out of the “trunk”?), and finally somehow the Divine Mother’s eyes showed up.

I’ve been working on connecting with the Divine Mother a lot recently. She is not someone/an energy that I am quite familiar with. But I’ve had the intention. This morning on my way to work, I replaced my usual driving-prayers with some toning. First I toned “Ahhhhhhhh” for the Divine Earth Mother, and gave thanks to her for sustenance. Then I toned “Ooooommmmm” because, well… it’s OM. Then, I toned “Huuuuuuuu”, which, in my experience, is a very powerful tone, and one of the root practices of Eckankar. After that toning, I felt like praying. So I did 3 “Our Fathers”. Then, sticking with my Catholic background, I started saying the Hail Mary. Wow. How powerful that was for me this morning. I said 2 more Hail Marys… then two more after that… then just kept saying them.

I felt connected to Mary, and was very thankful for the feeling. I’ve heard that the tradition in which one is raised–and so for me, Catholicism–is kind of the “heart” tradition that will resonate with a person throughout his or her life. I’ve always felt connected to Catholicism (and Orthodoxy) in a very unique and special way, despite my love and exploration of other traditions.

But this opening to and with Mary. That was new. A prayer answered, a heart opened.

Thank you, Mother.