Slaying Dragons (Heart- 1.1.31)

Journey of the Heart – Day 31
©Susan Billmaier for susanwithpearls

Guiding Thought

My Heart knows how to love. Everything is energy. The most potent energy is love. As I learn love, I invite the most powerful energy to express through me, to live as me, to be me! My heart is Love’s abode. My heart teaches only love. I am a willing and joyful student!

-Play the Guiding Thought here (loops automatically).
Journey of the Heart audio created by Brad Vanlandingham for Susanwithpearls-

 

Sharing

Welcome to Round 4! See an explanation for how the Guiding Thoughts change for this round here.

How are you doing? Are you oozing with love and good will? Are you releasing “guck” and feeling uplifted? Have you found a new peace or harmony in your mind/body/emotions? Do you feel life loving you?

All is well. This is just the beginning. The END of this Journey is JUST THE BEGINNING. It’s very exciting. This concluding round leads us into Journey of Purpose >whoohooo!<. I’ve already been thinking about the start of Journey of Purpose. My purpose has been on my mind. I’m really very excited…but also realizing some fears and shortcomings (scary!). But this is the point. To release those things that hold me back from Love and a fulfilled life, no matter how big and scary they are. I hope you join me on Journey of Purpose and tackle some of your fears, monsters, and dragons!

Some of the dragons I’ve encountered recently are the dragon of inadequacy, the dragon of uncertainty, the dragon of NON-completion, the dragon of lack of priorities, the dragon of confusion.

All of these dragons are places where I have not allowed Love in. These are places where my heart is too small, or too cluttered with emotional/psychological stress patterns that are getting in the way of allowing Love to expand.

During a session earlier today, I discovered that ALL of the above-mentioned dragons stem from Self-suppression, or more accurately, self-expression-suppression.

From very early in my childhood, I taught myself to “swallow” my expressions. Please understand that I did not swallow my emotions: I was a very inner emotional child. I just didn’t show it. Are you kidding? Show people my feelings? Show people what I “really” feel” and then have to deal with…. their emotions, their drama, their interpretation of my emotions. I gave up, mainly because I was tired of people misunderstanding my emotions, and not listening to me when I tried to explain them. “How can a child be able to explain her emotions? Something else must be going on. I’ll interpret this explanation how I think a 7-8-9-10 year old child should be feeling.” It was exhausting. Better just to not share my feelings, don’t you think?

Yeah, so there was some resentment about all of that, which lead to having toxic thoughts and emotions, which lead to mental monotony and self-created limitations….. and all of that from my young life is coming out now as anxiety, confusion, lack of prioritizing, inability to complete projects.

Ok, so bringing this back around:

I have all of this crap from suppressing expression. What am I practically able to do with a Guiding Thought, which says, “I invite the most powerful energy to express through me, to live as me, to be me!”  when I have a bunch of stuff in the way of expression?

I am thankful that I now have a sight on my dragons, and can work to release/transform them.

 

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