Healing Crisis of the Heart. (Heart- 1.1.33)


Journey of the Heart – Day 33
©Susan Billmaier for susanwithpearls

Guiding Thought

Following the guidance of my heart, I experience life anew! As I express love, I  experience love everywhere. I find new ways to love. I recognize new depths and nuances of love. I am patient. I am kind. I am wise. I respond to life with love, as love.

-Play the Guiding Thought here (loops automatically).
Journey of the Heart audio created by Brad Vanlandingham for Susanwithpearls-



Thought #1

I’ve been thinking about purpose for about a week now. This is the subject of the next Journey; yes, the Journeys overlap like this as you continue them.

What is my purpose? What am I here to do? to accomplish?

Purpose has nothing to do with any material or external situations or circumstances. In other words, it’s not about what I do. My Purpose is not to be a writer; my purpose is not to be a teacher…or healer…or mentor. My Purpose has nothing to do with what I do.

Yet, my Purpose has everything to do with everything I do. What is it that I bring to everything I do? What is the highest >thing< or >whatever< that I can bring to everything? That is my purpose.

I’ll be writing about this on February 22, the “Why” day of Journey of Purpose, so I won’t give too much away here…but, I will let you know that it has to do with Heart.

Thought #2

I’ve been going through a bit of an emotional healing crisis lately. An emotional healing crisis is similar to a physical healing crisis, but–you guessed it–with emotions.

Here’s how it works: Emotional crap enters your mind/emotions/body (toxic people or situations, stress, drama, simply having been a child, etc.). Unless you are aware and adept enough to release it immediately (and, who is, at this stage of humanity’s development?) it gets trapped in your energy field.

Often that toxic, trapped energy magnetizes similar energies, which then magnetize other similar energies, which magnetize other similar energies creating a complex, convoluted, network of intertwined energies. (so called positive energies can be mixed in, or have their own intertwining, but for now, we are looking at the toxic ones.)

When enough energy is magnetized as one particular pattern, it becomes a locus of focus. The like-energies of similar toxic situations glom together. They are often recognizable as the “negative” thoughts and actions that come out consciously or subconsciously.

You’ve heard that doing emotional work is like “peeling an onion”–you take off one layer, and there’s another underneath it. Yes. But there’s more.

In my experience, it’s more like untangling yarn. Those energy networks are the yarn, and the tangles are where networks have “tied” themselves together and gotten stuck.

Instead of peeling, it’s more like unraveling and untying. You start with an end that you can find and work backward…and you don’t always know when you’re going to find a big ol’ knot.

So, I’ve been unraveling and untying some emotional stuff recently about feeling lost, ungrounded, being unable to filter out toxic thoughts and emotions as a child, feeling suppressed and unable to express myself (also as a child), which caused me to feel hindered, limited, “caged”…and all of this childhood stuff has been coming out now as apathy (loss of creative power), anxiety, inability to prioritize tasks, which leads to immobilized, which leads to not accomplishing tasks, which leads to feeling more anxiety about not accomplishing things….

Today, I think I “found” a mass entangled knot–a place in this unraveling where several energy-threads had come together, intertwined, and then pulled really tight.

What else is there to do but release it?

What gets wound must get unwound! Unwinding, unraveling, and untying releases all that energy. The energy then has to go back out through the channels it came in on. The emotions are experienced when the energy first enters the body/mind/emotions, then they are experienced again when they leave.

I am always happy to work through emotions. Even when I can feel like a basket case when I do. At least I know I am releasing all that “stuff”.

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