My own Loving Presence is my Self. I turn my attention inward and become aware of my own Loving Presence. With my focused awareness, my own Loving Presence fills me, grows brighter, and grows warmer. I claim my Self with these words:
I AM My Own Loving Presence. My loving Presence is the Self of myself. I love my Self!
I want to give my Self everything it desires–and my Self wants the same for me. What do I desire, but total Peace, Freedom, Love, and Harmony? These are the infinite and eternal qualities of my Self! I am now aware of the inner activity of my own Loving Presence and I invite it to express itself through me and externalize in my life as circumstances, people, forms, and events that fulfill my desires.
Who is responsible for my life? I am.
Who is responsible for my happiness? I am.
Who is responsible for my direction and focus? I am.
Who is responsible for the circumstances, forms, and events in my life? I am.
That alone is heavy. How do I know what is best for me? How do I know what choices will bring me happiness, peace, abundance, fulfillment? How could I even begin to figure it out? …Trying to brings doubt and despair.
But I am not alone. I AM My Own Loving Presence. My loving Presence is the Self of myself.
That Self is real. I’ve been acquainting myself with my Self pretty regularly (daily) for a consistent two years. I used to be a lot more skeptical, much less in-tune with My Own Loving Presence. Now, I feel pretty confident in my relationship with my Self.
I started out today’s Journey totally in my head and distracted. But after I had turned my attention inward and become aware of my own Loving Presence, I felt It. Mostly, It’s like a buzzing in my mid- to lower-back, but I also feel a vibration-type energy at the top of my calves and in my feet. It’s more than “just me”.
But you know what I have not practiced much? Asking for help.
Those questions at the beginning…I’ve been answering those questions with thoughts like, “it’s all me”; “it’s all my responsibility”; “I have to do it all…alone”.
It occurs to me how ego-centered those thoughts are. Furthermore, how much they now seem like an excuse to remain a victim of myself, and feel sorry for myself.
“…See the ant. How small is the ant, yet how big a load she carries. You should not be dejected or disheartened. If we want, we can blow the whole of this mountain–if we all want, if we have Will. Don’t lose your hearts in this small Work. When you lose your heart, when you lose courage–this is death. Don’t lose courage. You can move the mountain.”
~Babaji of Haidakhan
I had lost courage, become disheartened. I see that now.
To feel sorry for oneself is of the ego–small, weak, without power.
To unite with the Self within, the Divine Presence within, is to unite with the Power which can move mountains. That’s also being responsible.