Pocket of Distrust. (Purpose- 1.2.3)

Copyright Tam Black 2018
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

Guiding Thought

I am now fully conscious of my own Loving Presence, which seeks expression through me. My own Loving Presence Knows my heart and Knows my happiness. It Knows how to fulfill my heart and bring me joy by placing me in right situations, with right people, at right times, where I may fully express my purpose. I submit my mind and heart, all my thoughts, words, actions to my own Loving Presence to be lifted to its vision and plan for my life.

Reflection

Today’s inner dialogue:

It Knows how to fulfill my heart and bring me joy by placing me in right situations, with right people, at right times, where I may fully express my purpose…

where I may fully express my purpose…?

Wait a minute how did we get to expressing purpose? I thought I didn’t know what my purpose was, and that this Journey is helping me discover it…in which case, how do I express something that has yet to be discovered?

I must have missed something >reads Guiding Thought again from the beginning<. 

No, no, there is nothing there explicity about purpose, just about my own Loving Presence…again. Maybe that’s a clue. Ugh. I don’t feel like thinking. 

Let’s back up again…is there anything in the Guiding Thought that I disagree with? 

I am now fully conscious of my own Loving Presence, which seeks expression through me. Yup, I can agree with that, especially since the past two days have been primarily about this. 

My own Loving Presence Knows my heart and Knows my happiness. Yup, I can agree with that too–again, the past two days have worked with this idea.

It Knows how to fulfill my heart and bring me joy by placing me in right situations, with right people, at right times, where I may fully express my purpose. Yup. ditto. 

I submit my mind and heart, all my thoughts, words, actions to my own Loving Presence to be lifted to its vision and plan for my life. Ah ha. There it is. It’s not that I disagree with this… but in order for this to “work”, I have to make the decision to agree with this. I think I found my clue.

My purpose is to live with my Divine Presence, which means submitting to my Divine Presence–that’s why the past two days has been about fulfillment of desires, Divine Presence appearing as the perfect fulfillment of every single form, experience, situation, event, circumstance, condition, relationship, and sequence…blah blah blah.

It’s like the Divine presence is offering a carrot or candy…”hey, kid, you want your desires fulfilled…?” I am picturing Pinocchio being lured to Pleasure Island only to be turned into an ass.

Interesting. I’ve uncovered some distrust.

In order to accept this Guiding Thought in full, I have to a) trust that my Divine Presence is telling the truth about how It can fulfill desires b) believe that my Divine Presence can do it better than I can (otherwise, why would I submit to It?).

Ok, this is good. This is a new awareness about distrusting my Self that I can bring up and out. What’s interesting to me is that I also have a cultural reference that supports my distrust. How much more cultural support is there? how embedded is this distrust in my psyche?

Here’s the thing. I know the Guiding Thought is “right”. I know that submitting to my Inner Divine Self, and letting it lead me is the most effective way to fulfill my desires, and have the highest possible encounters in all areas of my life. But it’s not like I can just say, “OK” and it’s done, not if there are little pockets of distrust like I have just found. If left there, those pockets will sabotage my attempts to unite fully with my Inner Divine Self–self sabotage, so to say. The only way to get to 100%, like I talked about yesterday is to shine a light in those pockets and dissipate them, so that all remains is the Inner Divine Self. The transformation can happen over the next 36 days; i don’t need to do everything today. Awareness of the pocket of distrust is good enough for now.

What a productive day this has been.

 

 

 

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