Paralyzed in Confusion (Purpose- 1.2.19)

Copyright Tam Black 2018
Designed for

Guiding Thought

You Are. You are Love. You are Kindness. You are filled-full. You have all you seek, for all you seek is within you. Now you can be who you know you are. Share your Self with all and hold nothing back.  Give All Love. The Fullness of your Self will return to you as every form, person, situation, circumstance, and event that renews your fullness. Do not worry or think about what may be…your Self Knows and orders your life for your perfect fulfillment. All you need do is remember your Self.


I’ve been having a hard time accepting “where I’m at” lately. I want to be somewhere else, do something else. At least that’s what the voice in my head says. I’m not doing what I’m supposed to be doing. I need to get on with my work, need to be doing something other than this. The voice has been getting frantic, frenzied, chaotic, panicked, but with the quality of not being able to move, paralyzed, immobile.

It’s both a mental and a physical rut. I’ve never quite been here before. I’ve felt stuck; I’ve felt bored; I’ve felt  fearfully immobilized; I’ve even been in what’s felt like a hole that I didn’t know if I could get out of. These are all familiar elements of what I feel now.

The difference is that this particular rut has lasted longer (years!) than any other I’ve ever experienced, all of these elements are happening simultaneously, and I am getting to a point where I don’t know how or if i can pull myself out of it. I feel fearful for the unknown future, and that, too, is new–I used to embrace the unknown as an adventure, now the uncertainty feels destabilizing.

Is it up to me to pull myself out of it? Or am I supposed to continue doing my spiritual practices and wait on God? Am I here for a reason? Or is my reason for being here so I can figure out how to get myself out of being here? Am I being impatient? Or am I feeling motivated? Such questions seem to confuse rather than clarify the issue.

I recognize that my responsibility is to protect my own Loving Presence from thoughts that block its flow, and I even know how to do that. I also recognize that I am able to see/feel the truth of today’s Guiding Thought. These do not, however, minimize the confusion, alleviate the frenzy, or help with mobility.

All I want today is to embrace this: Do not worry or think about what may be…your Self Knows and orders your life for your perfect fulfillment. All you need do is remember your Self.

I want to trust this to be True. I want to let go of worry. I want to Know that my Self is taking care of me. So I remember my Self.

What do I do to remember my Self?

Close my eyes. Focus my attention on my upper chest/heart. Breathe. Breathe into my heart. Hold the chaotic-panicked-immobilized voice gently, speaking soft, comforting words. Be the Self of myself with myself.

That worked.



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