Fear of Vulnerability– Worth (1.3.13)

Copyright Tam Black 2018
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

Guiding Thought

You know your Self when your share your Self. As you give your Self, you see your Source returned to you. All that is Whole, all that is Beauty, all that is Holy, reflects back to you in the Joy of Being, in the brilliance of Life, in the Unity of Self. Choose now to share only the Self of Beauty, Wholeness, and Joy, that you may Know your Self as Beauty, Wholeness, and Joy.

Reflection

“I am a rock. I am an island. And a rock feels no pain, and an island never cries”. I used to sing this to myself when I was a young teenager, as an affirmation that I didn’t need anyone, that if only I shut myself off from the world I would never be affected or inflicted with pain. This was one of my teenage angst anthems. Clearly, I grew out of it.

I am seeing a continuation of yesterday’s theme: connection, connecting with people in a non-superficial, meaningful way.

Connection has its risks, though, doesn’t it? In order to connect, you have to put yourself out there, open up to people and experiences, maybe even be vulnerable.

But according to the Guiding Thought, sharing yourself isn’t about getting anything back from someone else; it’s not about how they respond to you. It’s all about youYou know your Self when you share your Self. Sharing yourself has everything to do with learning about who you are, and nothing about learning about or connecting “deeply” with someone else.

The fear of vulnerability that you have about connecting with someone else is a fear of connecting with your Self. It’s not a fear of something “out there”, it’s a fear of something “in here”.

Everything is inside you, but you can only experience it when you externalize it–when you bring it out from within.

This happens whether you externalize the fear of vulnerability, or all that is beautiful within you.

Either one takes courage. To dig into yourself and pull something out, then give it away brings up a lot of questions, doubts…until you do it enough that you have answered all your own questions and doubts and all that is left is the sharing, the giving, and the experience.

Choose now to share only the Self of Beauty, Wholeness, and Joy, that you may Know your Self as Beauty, Wholeness, and Joy.

 

 

Connecting Through What’s Real– Worth (1.3.12)

Copyright Tam Black 2018
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

Guiding Thought

Love yourself for the Truth within you. The Truth within you Knows you for who you are—Pure Love, Only Love, beyond all valuing of the world. In Love all are equal, for we are One. This is how Truth Knows you—Pure, One, and Free. This is your Truth; this is our Truth; this is the Self you love.

Reflection

Remember: the world does not value You. The world does not value what is True, what is Real, what is beyond the valuing of the world.

In fact, the world stomps on it. Kills it. De-values it. The world cannot see you for who you truly are. (Can you?)

Don’t waste your time, your breath, your energy, trying to make the world –that cannot acknowledge you–see you.

This is a problem with the social media frenzy. People want to be seen, yes. Acknowledged, yes. People want to connect. But the connection they seek is within. Without the inner connection first, the connection that they truly want–that between their Inner Self and others’ Inner Selves–is negated by the very use of the the forms they are using. It’s like surface-selves are shouting to other surface-selves through media which can only reflect the emptiness with which they are shouting. …and that just makes people feel more alone.

This is not, by the way, in any way blaming the social media platforms. Media does what we tell it to do, it is our servant. We must first have the inner connection before the social media will bring us the outer connections that reflect our inner-space. Now, read the Guiding Thought again, and value what is True and real within, then connect with another person, through what is True and Real.

Love yourself for the Truth within you. The Truth within you Knows you for who you are—Pure Love, Only Love, beyond all valuing of the world. In Love all are equal, for we are One. This is how Truth Knows you—Pure, One, and Free. This is your Truth; this is our Truth; this is the Self you love.

 

The Big Turn– Worth (1.3.11)

Copyright Tam Black 2018
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

Welcome to Round 2!

Here we go! If you are new to the Journeys, please see this page, under the heading “Four Rounds”, for how things change slightly in this round.

Guiding Thought

You have forgotten your Self. You have forgotten who you are. You have forgotten that you are established in Love and by Love, which is infinite and eternal; therefore, your worth is infinite and eternal.

Seek to remember your Self; choose to remember your Self.

Choose to remember who you are, and your infinite worth in Love.

Choose to be aware, to understand, and to Know yourself (your Self) as the Love that you are.  Choose to share who you are with the world, giving your infinite worth, measured in infinite Love.

Reflection

Invite the Divine. Release the ego. That’s all. That’s it. That’s the process.

The ego is the part that has forgotten. Release it!

The Divine is the part that remembers. Embrace it!

The Divine cannot be denied forever. It is reality; it is your reality. Everyone is born with a spark of the Divine, a memory no matter how small of the Truth, and the Truth of their Self.

Imagine that spark is only one tiny percent (1%) of the whole of “you”-in-this-life when you are born. But you fan it, and it doubles. Now two percent (2%) of the whole of “you”-in-this-life has embraced your Divine Self. This doubling may take 20 years–so what? Keep fanning.

Then it doubles again, maybe in just a few years, and now 4% of you remembers. Life is still a struggle, with darkness, misunderstanding, confusion, feelings of loss and despair, but there is recognition that the light has grown. Keep fanning!

Maybe the next doubling takes only a year or two, and now you can feel your acceleration, your growth. 8%….16%…32% of you remembers! You still forget most of the time, but the remembering has taken root, and has a solid hold.

Then comes the big turn. There comes a point when enough of you remembers enough of the time that you see it daily, and reach for it above all else.

But then, it almost feels like you slow down, or even go backward. The ego has realized it’s losing hold! It fights against your growth and progress. It wants you to forget, so it can continue to dominate your personality, your expression, your choices in life.

Keep going. Keep going. Keep going. Deny the ego! Remember your Self!

Until we all reach 100%.

 

 

Serendipitous Connections–Worth (1.3.9)

Copyright Tam Black 2018
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

Guiding Thought

I extend the Love that I am, for that is all I truly am. As I learn to be aware, to understand, and to Know my own will as Love, and make choices according to that will, my life experiences become worthy of me. Expressing my Self that is wholly Love and United with All is the only choice that is worthwhile. It is the only thing that brings me satisfaction, the only choice that allows me to experience my Self—the Love that I am. My-your-our- freedom depends on my right choices, depends on my choosing what is worthy and what is not; it depends on me, depends on you, depends on us.

Reflection

As you know, I’ve been working with the idea of transformation recentlySpecifically, the transformation of being directed 100% by the Holy Spirit, of submitting my will to Divine Will, through the Holy Spirit–as the Guiding Thought puts it, “to Know my own will as Love, and make choices according to that will”.

You may also be aware that even though I use terms like “Holy Spirit” (or any of the terms I use), I am not specifically ChristianI am not specifically anything. God is not Christian (or Hindu, or Muslim, or Sikh, or Eck, or B’hai, or whatever), so why should I try to be any one thing?

In that spirit, I’ve been thinking about the Holy Spirit, in relation to Shaktiwhich loosely defined is the power, or force, that brings the unmanifest into the manifest.

Here is what I found, quite unintentionally, when I was digging around for something completely different (funny how that happens–I was looking up Tandava). It was this first line that really grabbed my attention. I think I may be on to something.

Transformation is a gift from mystery to us.

As we awake to the reality of impermanence, Shiva appears as the ending of a cycle and ignites within us our inner fire of transformation. As we surrender unto the ever changing flow of life, Shiva supports us to see within the burning, a new way, a new path, the possibility to renew.

Simultaneously, destroying what is dying with one hand (fire) and reviving life with another (drum).

Shiva is the friend of all and his cosmic dance of Tandava keeps the world going round and round. Turning ignorance into new opportunities to free oneself.

He is called “The Auspicious One” and his blessings are infinite.

Shiva is the Exhale that brings a possibility for the NEW.

His consort is Shakti and without HER, Shiva is Shava (corpse – formless).

Shakti is the Goddess, the creator-ess of this world we live (inner and outer).

Shakti means sacred force or empowerment. She is the primordial cosmic energy and represents the dynamic forces of Nature, the compositional forces of the 5 elements. She moves through the entire universe as creative power, or the Great Divine Mother.

Shakti is the manifestation of creativity, fertility, abundance. She is creation, preservation and destruction. (see this link for full page)

Commitment and Dedication- Worth (1.3.00)

Here it is, the moment of truth. This is where you get to be really honest with yourself about what you want out of this Journey, and what you want to put into it.

This means sit, be still, quiet your mind, and think about who you are in the world and who you want to become. Think about what barriers you may have to recognizing your highest self-worth that you want to release; think about what beautiful, wonderful qualities you have that you want to embrace. What are you willing to do to work toward that? How much time, realistically, do you want to spend?

If all you can do is read my post every day, that’s enough…for now, but don’t let yourself think just reading my post is getting you somewhere. At some point, you need to do your own work, even if it’s just two or three minutes each day. Read the Guiding Thought with intention, call forth your will for your own evolution, and write; a minute or two is all it takes. One day, there will be a spark, the light will shine through, you will motivate naturally.  Your interest and effort will grow from there!

Commitment:

I commit to a daily practice of Guiding Thoughts (contemplation) and writing for 40 consecutive days, for at least twenty minutes. I commit to opening my awareness, developing my understanding, and accepting (allowing) my Knowing of the Truth of my Self and my worth. I commit to these actions. I commit to turning inward with sincerity and earnestness. All I am is now. May the Truth of Self be revealed. May I be my highest worth, infinitely and eternally, in service to all.

Dedication:

I dedicate this Journey to all. May we all come to Know the activity of Infinite Love within us as our united purpose, that we may extend and share it through all our words, thoughts, and actions to all, everywhere.

Be the Change, Be your Self–Worth (1.3.40)

Copyright Tam Black 2018
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

Guiding Thought 

If I am to be my Self in the world, I must be for others as well as myself. There is no other.

I am willing to be receptive to the Infinite Love of All. I am willing to understand how I must rise above the struggles and pains of the world. I am willing to rise again and again with each call for help, each outstretched hand. I am willing to be the one to choose to change. I offer my pain, suffering, guilt, and blame up for transformation, into the light of Love, that I may see and give only the light of Love always.

***

Welcome to day 40! Whew! How did you do? Did you make it through all 40 days? What a Journey it has been. I can’t say I’m sad to see this one in the rear view mirror (almost, anyway…after today). For the next 10 days, we rest, take care of ourselves, and assimilate this new level of awareness, understanding, and knowing that we have achieved by contemplating Worth for the past 40 days. Then we begin Journey of Healing! I am looking forward to Healing, and to giving myself some TLC after this Journey.

Ok let’s get this done!

Reflection

You’ve heard the quote, “Be the change you want to see in the world”. Today’s Guiding Thought takes that quote and extends it.

First, it gives a reason to care about being the change: because there is no other. In other words, all are equal to you–you being the change brings that change to All.

Second, it gives an aspiration for that change: the Infinite Love of All. What better goal is there for change than to become Infinite Love of and for All?

But then, it switches gears and conveys what you might be up against, what you might experience, as you work toward this goal. There is a lot of misery, sadness, loneliness, desperation, and lovelessness in the world today. These are what you are up against. Not to mention pettiness, deceit, and people who think they are happy only when others are more miserable than they are. In addition to these “biggies”, there are also simple misunderstandings, communication errors, and unintentional mistakes that can happen with friends and loved ones which can generate pains and struggles.

What happens when you encounter these? It has that solution, too: “I offer my pain, suffering, guilt, and blame up for transformation, into the light of Love…”

But what if it’s “not you”? What if the other person is the one being the bonehead? What if you’re the one who’s right? Why should you be the one to change?

There is no other. If you are to be your Self in the world, you must be for others as well as yourself.

Ripped Open– Worth (1.3.10)

Copyright Tam Black 2018
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

Guiding Thought

If I am to be my Self in the world, I must be for others as well as myself. There is no other.

I am willing to be receptive to the Infinite Love of All. I am willing to understand how I must rise above the struggles and pains of the world. I am willing to rise again and again with each call for help, each outstretched hand. I am willing to be the one to choose to change. I offer my pain, suffering, guilt and blame up for transformation, into the light of Love that I may see and give only the light of Love always.

Reflection

Mother, this is our only prayer: May no one in all the worlds experience pain or sorrow. Save us from out (inner) enemies. Om Tat Sat. (Sapta Sloki Durga)

Compassion is the understanding of suffering. There is no peace, joy, or hope until those who suffer are understood. Compassion is the soul of these words; without it, they are empty. Compassion fills them with truth, honor, and purpose. (From Medical Medium by Anthony William)

There is so much here today.

  • Being willing to see others as yourself (walk in someone else’s shoes).
  • Being willing to feel pain and suffering–and walk through it.
  • Being willing to feel the pain and suffering of someone else, and respond to it with compassion.
  • To release pain and suffering “up for transformation”.

As I’ve mentioned several times now, I have been working more with the Holy Spirit, and the Divine Mother/Femine energy. I’ve been praying, chanting, and doing other devotions specifically to connect with this “Shakti” energy.

When I wrote this Guiding Thought a couple of years ago, it meant something different to me than it does today. Then, I thought it meant that I’m supposed to “be the strong one”, or “help people through something”, or “take on the pain and suffering so others don’t need to”.

Not today.

You see, I’ve been digging deeply into my own pain and suffering (which has come out at odd times, mostly in the middle of the night as anxiety and panic, with tears, many tears). I feel frozen, I feel defeated. I feel hopeless. Sometimes I feel like I am going to die.

And there is nothing can do. The feeling is, “I’ve tried everything. I’m at a loss. I don’t know what to do, or where to turn”. There are prayers written for this feeling.

From the Orthodox tradition:

  • Suddenly the Judge shall come, and the deeds of each shall be laid bare; but with fear do we cry at midnight: Holy, Holy, Holy art Thou, O God; through the Theotokos, have mercy on us.
  • Grant me not to fall asleep in the death of sin, but have compassion on me, O Thou Who wast voluntarily crucified, and hasten to raise me who am reclining in idleness, and save me in prayer and intercession
  • It has been a lesson in asking for Divine intervention, Divine help, and giving up…really giving up. When the feeling is deeply that “there is nothing I can do to help myself”, there is comfort in turning to the Divine Mother/Holy Spirit.
  • heal the perennial passions of my soul. Guide me to the path of repentance, for I am tossed in the storm of life. Deliver me from eternal fire, and from evil worms, and from Tartarus. Let me not be exposed to the rejoicing of demons, guilty as I am of many sins. Renew me, grown old from senseless sins, O most immaculate one. Present me untouched by all torments, and pray for me to the Master of all.

From the Hindu tradition:

  • I have fallen in the ocean of birth and death, and I fear their sorrows. I am trapped by my ego, with its countless desires, greed, pride and lust.
  • I do not know how to be righteous or find your abode. I do not know how to achieve freedom by dissolving my ego. I am devoid of the will to fight; I surrender. I am not strong enough to make any vow.
  • My mind is always engaged in worthless thoughts and actions. My intellect has become dull, enslaved by old habits. I am unable to behave honourably and my intentions are self-serving. My speech is harsh and hurtful.

I have asked for this; I have asked for transformation. I have asked to be cleansed and purified, so that I may be a pure vehicle for the Holy Spirit. Ask and ye shall receive. But be prepared–it ain’t all smiles and roses.

My current experience is that when I allow myself to really feel these things, it is like I am just ripped open and stuff I didn’t even know was there (and that I don’t know what it is, necessarily) pours out, and keeps pouring out. This is when it’s not all happy and pleasant.

The good news is that this is the death of the ego, and there is Divine aid. Jesus is there to help. The Divine Mother is there to help, along with the Holy Spirit, and any/every other Divine being who you call to.

They are the embodiment of today’s Guiding Thought. They are fully for others, and they know there is no other. They are the embodiment of Infinite Love of All. They have already risen above the struggles and pains of the world, and they are here to help us do the same. They accept our pain, suffering, guilt and blame and transform it, into the light of Love that we may see and give only the light of Love always.