Ripped Open– Worth (1.3.10)

Copyright Tam Black 2018
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

Guiding Thought

If I am to be my Self in the world, I must be for others as well as myself. There is no other.

I am willing to be receptive to the Infinite Love of All. I am willing to understand how I must rise above the struggles and pains of the world. I am willing to rise again and again with each call for help, each outstretched hand. I am willing to be the one to choose to change. I offer my pain, suffering, guilt and blame up for transformation, into the light of Love that I may see and give only the light of Love always.

Reflection

Mother, this is our only prayer: May no one in all the worlds experience pain or sorrow. Save us from out (inner) enemies. Om Tat Sat. (Sapta Sloki Durga)

Compassion is the understanding of suffering. There is no peace, joy, or hope until those who suffer are understood. Compassion is the soul of these words; without it, they are empty. Compassion fills them with truth, honor, and purpose. (From Medical Medium by Anthony William)

There is so much here today.

  • Being willing to see others as yourself (walk in someone else’s shoes).
  • Being willing to feel pain and suffering–and walk through it.
  • Being willing to feel the pain and suffering of someone else, and respond to it with compassion.
  • To release pain and suffering “up for transformation”.

As I’ve mentioned several times now, I have been working more with the Holy Spirit, and the Divine Mother/Femine energy. I’ve been praying, chanting, and doing other devotions specifically to connect with this “Shakti” energy.

When I wrote this Guiding Thought a couple of years ago, it meant something different to me than it does today. Then, I thought it meant that I’m supposed to “be the strong one”, or “help people through something”, or “take on the pain and suffering so others don’t need to”.

Not today.

You see, I’ve been digging deeply into my own pain and suffering (which has come out at odd times, mostly in the middle of the night as anxiety and panic, with tears, many tears). I feel frozen, I feel defeated. I feel hopeless. Sometimes I feel like I am going to die.

And there is nothing can do. The feeling is, “I’ve tried everything. I’m at a loss. I don’t know what to do, or where to turn”. There are prayers written for this feeling.

From the Orthodox tradition:

  • Suddenly the Judge shall come, and the deeds of each shall be laid bare; but with fear do we cry at midnight: Holy, Holy, Holy art Thou, O God; through the Theotokos, have mercy on us.
  • Grant me not to fall asleep in the death of sin, but have compassion on me, O Thou Who wast voluntarily crucified, and hasten to raise me who am reclining in idleness, and save me in prayer and intercession
  • It has been a lesson in asking for Divine intervention, Divine help, and giving up…really giving up. When the feeling is deeply that “there is nothing I can do to help myself”, there is comfort in turning to the Divine Mother/Holy Spirit.
  • heal the perennial passions of my soul. Guide me to the path of repentance, for I am tossed in the storm of life. Deliver me from eternal fire, and from evil worms, and from Tartarus. Let me not be exposed to the rejoicing of demons, guilty as I am of many sins. Renew me, grown old from senseless sins, O most immaculate one. Present me untouched by all torments, and pray for me to the Master of all.

From the Hindu tradition:

  • I have fallen in the ocean of birth and death, and I fear their sorrows. I am trapped by my ego, with its countless desires, greed, pride and lust.
  • I do not know how to be righteous or find your abode. I do not know how to achieve freedom by dissolving my ego. I am devoid of the will to fight; I surrender. I am not strong enough to make any vow.
  • My mind is always engaged in worthless thoughts and actions. My intellect has become dull, enslaved by old habits. I am unable to behave honourably and my intentions are self-serving. My speech is harsh and hurtful.

I have asked for this; I have asked for transformation. I have asked to be cleansed and purified, so that I may be a pure vehicle for the Holy Spirit. Ask and ye shall receive. But be prepared–it ain’t all smiles and roses.

My current experience is that when I allow myself to really feel these things, it is like I am just ripped open and stuff I didn’t even know was there (and that I don’t know what it is, necessarily) pours out, and keeps pouring out. This is when it’s not all happy and pleasant.

The good news is that this is the death of the ego, and there is Divine aid. Jesus is there to help. The Divine Mother is there to help, along with the Holy Spirit, and any/every other Divine being who you call to.

They are the embodiment of today’s Guiding Thought. They are fully for others, and they know there is no other. They are the embodiment of Infinite Love of All. They have already risen above the struggles and pains of the world, and they are here to help us do the same. They accept our pain, suffering, guilt and blame and transform it, into the light of Love that we may see and give only the light of Love always.

 

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