On the Right Track and Another Surprise -Abundance (1.5.2)

Copyright Tam Black 2016
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

Guiding Thought

I choose to expand my consciousness and open my heart to Divine Love’s flow within me. Realizing my own Divine Presence, I know God as the Source and Fulfillment of all my good.

Reflection

Yesterday, day one of “Journey of Abundance”, I was hired for a new project; today, day two of “Journey of Abundance”, I found a gift card in a parking lot worth $12.23. I think I am off to a good start.

I mentioned in the Why that I am working on abundance from a standpoint of artha, which is “ultimately, the pursuit of activities and means necessary for a joyous and pleasurable life” (see the Chopra webpage). According to Deepak, the Vedanta says, ways to bring artha into your life are:

  • Discover a way so money runs after you and not vice versa.
  • Do work that is compatible to your nature and capabilities.
  • Do work that serves society.
  • Do work you really love.
  • Trust in the infinite organizing power of the Universe.

It’s that last one which fits for me today, and corresponds with the Guiding Thought, “I know God as the Source and Fulfillment of all my good.”

The more I trust God, the more I am able to know God as the Source and Fulfillment of all my good.

The first step, however is that trust thing.

I’ve been working on that for a long time, also known as surrender, faith, Willing with the Divine…however a person approaches it, the bottom line is that we, small humans who think we know everything, must align ourselves with the Universe/the Divine/All that IS. We do not know anything of ourselves. We just think we do, but because we think we do, we don’t want to listen or surrender to something we can’t even see or define.

But this is why it’s called faith.

Faith is taking a step when you have no idea what supports you, but know that something does.

All it takes is small steps. And when you take that step and don’t fall, faith is strengthened, and the next step can be bigger.

I do not know currently how big my steps of faith are, but I do know that with every step, I am aware of keeping the faith. I’ve been practicing this for a while. I’ve had a lot of ups and downs; I still feel sometimes like God has forgotten me. But I’ve taken enough steps without falling, and with real evidence that I am supported by something (because things work out so much better than I would ever be able to make them work out, if I were doing it on my own), that I am happy to keep my faith.

Plus, I was hired for a project yesterday, and I found a gift card today. What is that if not evidence that God is looking out for me, giving little breadcrumbs of assurance on this Journey of Abundance.

Love to you, beautiful person. Peace and prosperity on this Journey.

 

Total Congruence and Surprise Income Stream -Abundance (1.5.1)

Copyright Tam Black 2016
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

Welcome to the first of forty days focused on advancing our consciousness toward greater abundance! If you are new here: read and contemplate the Guiding Thought for a minimum of five minutes, then write whatever response comes to mind, for a minimum of five minutes. No filters, no judgment; just write. Let out whatever is in, and allow your consciousness to expand! Here we go!

Guiding Thought

Divine Love-Light is the Source of All. It is all good, all God. This Source is always seeking expression through me. My awareness of my personal identity with this Source provides me with infinite fulfillment and prosperity.

Reflection

I’d like to note, right off the bat, that today…day 1 of “Journey of Abundance”…I was contacted about taking on a bigger role with an organization I am involved with, and doing additional projects for them, with additional income included. Coincidence?

Second thing for today: this feels so good. The Guiding Thought feels so good. It is completely congruent with “where I’m at”. I feel reinforced and strengthened.

“This Source is always seeking expression through me”. This means that Divine Love-Light (the “Source”) seeks expression through me.

I have been saying this as a prayer:

May my life force be a vehicle through which God may enter the world, to love and serve all life.

This is what I mean by congruent with where I’m at. I want God (Love-Light) to flow through me. I want my “personal identity” to be filled with Divine Love-Light, so that “I” wholly identify with Divine Love-Light.

I have been saying this prayer for a long time, without a thought about It providing “me with infinite fulfillment and prosperity”.

It’s not a stretch for me to accept that being filled with Divine Love-Light, being a vehicle for Divine Love-Light, will provide me with fulfillment and prosperity. It’s a natural extension. It just makes sense.

 

Commitment and Dedication -Abundance (1.5.00)

Today is the day to declare your commitment to the Journey.

A commitment is a statement of purpose or a clear communication about an intention. Making a commitment at the beginning of a Journey helps me to clarify what I want to accomplish. It puts a goal into my mind and declares my decision to complete it. Commitment sets up the consistency of action.

Commitment Statement

I declare, with great enthusiasm and excitement, that on this Journey of Abundance, I am committed to increasing my awareness and understanding of Abundance! It is my intention to maintain a constant awareness of the Source of All my abundance in my mind and heart. I commit to shifting my focus to the Love and Truth that underlies all situations and interactions, seeing deeper than superficial movements and behaviors, and accepting the reality of Love that pervades all, and recognizing Love as the Source of All.

I am committed to contemplating the Guiding Thoughts for at least 5 minutes each day, and to writing my response.

I am also committed to continuing the work I began during Journey of Healing, and I commit to continue being gentle, caring, and nurturing to myself.

Further, I commit to being aware of aligning my ideas of abundance with practical actions of work, relationships, emotional and mental health, and all aspects of my life.

Dedication

I dedicate this Journey to the Oneness and Unity of All. May each step I take serve to uplift all of humanity; may my thoughts, words, feelings, and actions be a vehicle through which God may enter the world to love and serve all life.

Why -Abundance (1.5.0)

Copyright Tam Black 2015
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

Welcome to Journey of Abundance! Are you ready to explore your inner abundance depths? Or, perhaps first, there will be a period of time of exploring your inner poverty depths–clear the crap, make room for the gold. I usually have a lot of crap to clear, so don’t worry–you’re in good company.

Even though I’ve been clearing the poverty crap for many years, and increasing my actual experience of abundance, there is still more crap: I still have some resistance to having money (more on that in a minute); I still have a cantankerous and belligerent relationship to bills (they get paid, I just really need to talk myself up to get it done); I still do not have clarity about the relationship between work (spiritual and material) abundance; I still feel like I’m in kindergarten regarding abundance, even though I have come a really long way.

For those of you new to the Journeys: today is Why day. This is the day I write about why it’s important for me to focus on abundance: what I hope to learn, what I hope to clear, what I aim to work on for 40 days.

For those of you who will be joining the Journey this time around: start your thinkin’ and writin’! Why are you interested in focusing on advancing your understanding of and relationship with abundance?

Here we go!

I grew up in a household in which money was “the root of all evil”. During all of my formative years, emotionally and psychologically, I learned to reject money, because to accept money was to invite and allow evil.

While at the same time, I was learning that in order to be a productive and contributing member of society, I had to work to make money.

What a contradiction! How was I to embrace work, which brought me evil in the form of money?

My solution to this contradiction for most of my young-adult life (18-24), was to work, but act like I did not have money. The way I did this was to just put money in a savings account and only use it “if I had to”, as though the money only existed if “I needed it”…and I was very clear about the difference between needing something and wanting something. I only used money if I needed something, and I needed very few things. I probably set it up that way, to limit my “need” for money, limiting my relationship with that evil.

I was around 25 before I understood that the actual bible quote is not that “money is the root of all evil”, but that “the love of money is the root of all evil”. In other words: greed is the root of all evil.

But by then, I had been steeped in a belief system that equated money with evil for over two decades. Now, it’s been over two decades that I have been clearing that crap, and there is more to clear. If you have any childhood “baggage” you know how these things stick with you…you think you’ve got it all, but then it peeks out and sabotages something and you think, “Gosh darn it, I thought I was done with this!” You know? (this is what I was referring to in the second paragraph; sometimes that old resistance-habits-emotional sense rears its head and I can see/feel how blocked I still am to receiving money).

Nonetheless, to give you a sense of how far I’ve come, here are some things I have worked through over the years:

  1. I can confirm 100% that I am not greedy. I have been…at times…it has cropped up in the form of jealousy or coveting or hoarding (in the sense of not sharing or not being generous), but really I don’t see it anymore.
  2. I can confirm 100% that I am generous. Practicing generosity was one way that I worked through greed issues. And I am still working on this. I want to be even more generous, in order to do that, I need to work on…you guessed it…abundance!
  3. Despite my cantankerous and belligerent relationship with my bills, it’s so much better than it used to be (like when I used to just ignore money…which meant ignoring bills for as long as I could…)
  4. love working and I love being paid for the work I do. I have not reached my own personal ceiling with either work or getting paid, so that is another reason why abundance is important.

Generally speaking: I now have a good relationship with work and money. It’s like I went from a  minus 10 to a neutral zero point. Everything is good.

Why, then, abundance? What is next? What do I need/want to work on?

Now I want to move from neutral zero to a positive relationship with work and money.

The philosophy that I am going to use to guide this next step of my abundance evolution is the aspect of Hindu philosophy called Artha.

Artha has three meanings:  1) “meaning” or “significance” 2) anything that gives temporary relief from suffering. 3) “wealth” or “money”.

The way I understand how Artha is understood in Hindu philosophy is this: There are material things that human beings must have to live: food, shelter, clothing. There are spiritual things that human beings thrive with: A life of meaning and purpose. There are intellectual and emotional things that provide human beings with a sense of fulfillment: (this varies greatly between people). Whenever any of these is deprived, there is the experience of pain and suffering. Artha is anything that relieves that pain and suffering.

Most often, because of its third meaning, “wealth”, Artha is seen in purely the material sense.

Even though Artha is about having material comfort, it also means living with that material comfort in a way that also serves your personal meaning and purpose and provides you with personal fulfillment. If wealth does not do all these things, it is no longer Artha (because if it does not do these things, it is contributing to suffering…the opposite of Artha).

For my purposes, in my next stage of learning about abundance, Artha is my guide, because this is exactly the sort of positive relationship I want with money: I want it to have meaning beyond mere money. Using money/wealth for Purpose and Fulfillment is just the right perspective to bring about a positive relationship with it.

For me, Artha is the convergence of loving the work I do (fulfillment), my Highest Purpose (to serve God and humanity), and the means to do those things in a comfortable, easy, joyous, pleasurable way.

Thus. Why am I doing a Journey of Abundance?

  1. to move from neutral zero to a positive relationship with work and money
  2. to begin to receive money easily and freely, doing meaningful and fulfilling work
  3. to increase my generosity

How about you?

 

 

Journey of ABUNDANCE begins Today!

(July 28 – September 17)

Journey of Abundance is the fifth of 14 Journeys that comprise the upward spiral Journey of the Soul, reconnecting a person with their heart, soul, Inner Divine Self, and to God. Each of the 14 Journeys is a way to explore your relationship with yourself, through a particular aspect (the topic of each Journey). The Journey-sequence is designed with a two-prong approach: to deconstruct the obstacles and barriers that a person has to their relationship with their Inner Divine, while supporting and strengthening that relationship.

Individually, and collectively, the purpose of the Journeys is to shift the consciousness of all of humanity from a consciousness of separation to a consciousness of Oneness.

The cycle begins with Journey of the Heart, the home of the Divine Flame. We fan that spark, so that all subsequent Journeys are imbued with its light. Once centered in the heart, the second Journey explores purpose–the “why am I here” type of questions. The third Journey, Worth, brings light to those places of feeling unworthy, and encourages value and worthiness.

After being informed by new heart connections, then having discovered something about purpose, proceeding through issues of worthiness, and what might hold us back from realizing our purpose, we then nurture ourselves with Healing, and begin to integrate on deeper levels our True Purpose, our True Worth. These deeper levels then extend in the next Journey–Abundance–as all that we have worked on comes to fruition.

The Journeys take as little as 15 minutes each day. My role in this is to be here for you as a steady presence, reminding you of your potential, reminding you of your True Self, reminding you that you are on a journey to Know your soul. Join me. Start your conscious Journey.

More information here.

Afterword -Healing (1.4.41)

Copyright Tam Black 2018
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

 

I’ve recently completed a 40-day Journey of Healing.

My goal, going into that almost six-week exercise was to be intentional about nurturing and caring for myself, being gentle with myself, stopping my self criticism (not being so hard on myself), and generally being nice to myself.

I succeeded. Mostly.

There is a difference between making a decision, or making a commitment, and having something in mind that “would be nice to do”. I was 100% successful in following through with the things I had decided in advance and committed to: I completed 40 days of contemplation/writing. I completed 40 days of Fire Ceremonies. I completed a liquid-only fast one day per week during the 40 days. I was generally easy on myself–gentle, caring, and nurturing (though there is still a long way to go in this area).

I was unsuccessful in completing the things that I wanted to do, but did not commit to doing: exercising for at least 30 minutes a day (I only did this for 16 days); reducing caffeine intake; drinking green smoothies.

However, the greater success after 40 days, is the inspiration I feel to continue my healing commitment.

I have received a healing boost–a big push that has given me momentum–and I want to continue it. I want to continue listening to myself for what is nurturing and caring for me; I want to continue fasting one day per week, and continue to improve my overall diet and nutritional balance; I want to continue doing Fire Ceremonies; I want to continue having a goal of exercising daily.

I feel good. I want to keep feeling good. I want to continue to feel better. I want to be nice to myself. I want to be gentle with myself.

Over and above the success of keeping my commitments, the residual motivation to keep it up is even more significant.

Journey of Abundance begins tomorrow! I’m ready. Are you?

 

 

Celebration! -Healing (1.4.40)

Copyright Tam Black 2018
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

Welcome to day 40! It’s a day for celebration–can you see the celebratory theme in the picture? YAY! 40 days of Healing!

Guiding Thought

I give today to Light. I feel the Light within pour forth; I feel my radiance, my glow. I see—with my inner eye—this light envelop and infuse all I encounter, all my words, and all my actions. I watch as others resonate with me, their light growing brighter in the sanctity of my own. To all beings and all situations today, I offer only light, and learn, as I do, the Wholeness of my Self.

Reflection

Even the Guiding Thought seems to share a celebratory tone. Imagine victory. Imagine celebration. Then read the Guiding Thought with that in mind.

Doesn’t it feel good? Can you feel the radiance, the power of Light, when you associate it with celebration? Can you feel how healing it is to celebrate?

I will wait until I write the Afterword to give a serious assessment of how I think this Journey went for me. But I will say this for now: I feel good. I feel like I’ve learned something. I feel like I have accomplished something. And the accomplishment is part of the learning. And I feel good. Isn’t that what matters? 

Much of this Journey felt spiritually like I was trudging through tar. But healing to me often means drudging things up the need to be healed, rather than waiting for them to surface unexpectedly and unbidden.

I’ve said this before: I do this to myself. I would rather be the one initiating my own trudging through tar, rather than have a tar-storm rain down on me with no prompting, or insight as to why. With these consciousness journeys, I choose. I set the intention, I set the pace, I choose the method.

And then I get through it. Then I celebrate. Today, I give celebratory Light to you. I pour it forth, making it available for you. I see this light envelop and infuse you. I watch as you absorb it, your light growing brighter in the celebration of my own. Peace, Joy, and Love to you.

I’ll write the Afterword in a few days, then Journey of Abundance begins July 28!

 

 

Everything Fulfilled in a Moment. -Healing (1.4.39)

Copyright Tam Black 2018
Designed for susanwithpearls.com
Guiding Thought

I am the Light of Love. Light saturates my mind and body, surrounding every thought, and radiating out to All. Everything radiates Light in return. Everywhere is Light. I rest in Peace, Being Light.

Reflection

Recently, I’ve been falling asleep while listening to a meditation. Part of the meditation is, “I am ready to receive Divine Love”. I wake up feeling very calm, rested, refreshed, full of peace. What are the chances there is a correlation between the meditation and how I feel when I wake up? Pretty good, I think.

It’s not a far stretch for me to read the Guiding Thought and believe it. I can feel the Light saturating my mind and body, radiating out to all. I can sense everything radiating Light in return. In this moment, reading the Guiding Thought, I feel the same way I described about when I wake up.

After I wake up, it takes a couple of hours for the feeling to wear off (give or take, depending on how quickly life pulls me out of that State). The Guiding Thought has the same effect–temporary. At least temporary for now.

The more a person becomes accustomed to feeling good–feeling what it feels like in the arms of Love, resting in Peace– the more they want it, the more they seek it, the more they find it, the more they want it… it’s a cycle of expansion of Love.

Sure, the feeling wears off (for now). But in the moment, it’s like knowing what it feels like to not need to seek or desire something, because in that moment, it’s not just something that is fulfilled…it’s everything.

And since in Truth everything is fulfilled…the cycle of expansion of Love is just leading us to the Truth of Love.

***

Om Puurnnamadah Puurnnamidam Puurnnaat Purnnamudacyate
Puurnnasya Puurnnamadaaya Puurnnamevavashissyate
Om Shaantih Shaantih Shaantih ||

OmThat (Outer World) is Purna (Full with Divine Consciousness); This (Inner World) is also Purna (Full with Divine Consciousness); From Purna comes Purna (From the Fullness of Divine Consciousness the World is manifested)
Taking Purna from PurnaPurna Indeed Remains (Because Divine Consciousness is Non-Dual and Infinite).

Om PeacePeacePeace.

Allowing vs. Making -Healing (1.4.38)

Copyright Tam Black 2018
Designed for susanwithpearls.com
Guiding Thought

Today I decide to be aware of my Whole and Holy Self working within me, expressing through me. As I move through the affairs of my life, with an open mind and empty hands, I look first to my Whole and Holy Self for guidance. My only decision today is to be aware of my Whole and Holy Self—all other decisions arise out of this, in conjunction with my Self.

Reflection

Always remember that nature refuses to be rushed. She can only be made to evolve and that takes time. Take heart! -Dharma Mittra

I have so far to go. There are so many people in the world doing such great work, advancing themselves, teaching, being loving and compassionate, sharing it, bringing all that into the world. Wow. Om Namo Namah. I bow to you. Thank you for your contribution.

This is why I needed to add the quote at the top. It’s a reminder to myself that evolution takes time; I may not be as far along the path as I think I should be, or comparatively as far as some people, but I must remind myself: this is my path, no one else’s. I have to walk it as only I can. and, as I say, “every drop counts, every step matters”–each day, every little thing that I do to contribute to my growth and evolution, to becoming the person I know I am, matters.

And, honestly? I love my path. I love what I do and who I am…but I also get frustrated and impatient with myself because think I “should be” doing more. This Journey is really helping me with this. I am allowing myself to evolve (heal), rather than trying to make myself evolve.

Can you feel that difference? Allowing vs. making? One is an easy opening, the other is a forcing, prying. What happens when something is allowed? It happens gently, naturally. What happens when something is forced? There is resistance, pushing back.

It’s the same feeling when I decide to be aware of my Whole and Holy Self working within me.

How do I make my decision to be aware of my Whole and Holy Self? Do I do it with an attitude of allowing or making? Do I open myself joyfully to my Whole and Holy Self, or do I feel like I have to really work at making myself decide to be aware of my Self’s inner activity?

When I am “too hard” on myself, when I think I am not going far enough, fast enough, I try to make myself go further, faster.

There is a certain amount of “pushing” myself that is positive/healthy: that is a pushing through the ego, not pushing against the process or the Inner Self.

So there is a level of awareness that I must bring to pushing myself, to make sure I do not overstep pushing through the ego into pushing through the process. The first subdues the ego, the second sabotages the process, through creating unwanted resistance.

I am often very hard on myself. That is one of the reasons that the goals for this Journey were simply to be kind to myself. I need to learn to be more gentle, loving, and patient with myself.

Although I am often hard on myself, I rarely overstep, and most often, I am pushing through a block or an ego-construction. But, when I do overstep and sabotage my process by being too hard on myself, I must step way back to recover.

It’s possible that I have been in a position for much of this Journey of stepping back, learning to allow, which has not been a “normal” thing for me. Perhaps one of the things I have been accomplishing, not even realizing it, is creating a new pattern, new neurological pathways for allowing. This would include being patient with myself, being gentle with myself, being accepting of myself.

…Which would be good, because I have a long way to go!

 

Walking Through Tar, Enjoying Food. -Healing (1.4.37)

Copyright Tam Black 2018
Designed for susanwithpearls.com
Guiding Thought

Love is Wholeness. The essence of Love is Peace. The essence of Wholeness is Unity. My essence is Love, therefore, my essence is Peace; my essence is Unity. Since my essence is Unity, I share Love and Peace wholly. Knowing the Unity of Whole Love and Peace with All is the essence of holiness. I choose to be aware, to understand and to Know my Whole and Holy Self, which is Love.

Reflection

I am very thankful for wise friends.

As you probably are aware, we humans are not “just a body”. We are a mind, emotions, and a Soul, or Spirit. Each of these aspects of us receive and transmit energy, and we have an “energy field” for each of these aspects, often called an aura. Some people can sense the aura’s energy, some people can see it, some people can discern the very subtle variations between the mental aura, the emotional aura, the physical aura, and the spiritual, or etheric, aura.

Whether or not you are able to sense the energy, you are still receiving and transmitting it, and the energy is affecting you.

I am not currently able to sense energy fields to a large degree. To a small degree, yes–but I think of it more as empathy or simply paying attention to a person’s physical cues–so it may not be aura stuff. This is why I am thankful for wise friends, friends who have these perceptions, and can talk to me, support me, about energy stuff that is affecting me, but at such a subtle level I can’t explain it or wrap my head around it.

Through this Journey, I’ve been feeling mired down–not physically (my body feels good and energetic), not even emotionally (my emotions have been “normal” or “even”). The mire has been more mental and etheric (at least that is what I now understand after emailing with a wise-friend). He confirmed what I wrote about yesterday: that I am growing into something new, the old is out-of-place, and there are some expansion pains.

In this transition, I have not wanted to think (very unlike me); I have not wanted to do anything that requires mental effort. I have also not wanted to do many of my usual spiritual practices–they feel wrong. The only real spiritual practices that I have been doing are 1. this Journey (which has been difficult for me to delve into mentally/emotionally) 2. Baths (“Hara Ganga”!) 3. Fire. 4. physical work while trying to keep my mind on God 5. fasting one day per week. That’s it.

It seems like the physical practices are ones that I can do, but the mental/emotional practices feel like the spiritual equivalent of rubbing my palm with sandpaper–they just do not feel good.

My friend described feeling the energy like “walking through tar”. Everything is heavy, and slow. That’s how I feel. When a new self/new energy is emerging, it’s important to be patient, loving, and generous with yourself. That is pretty much what my goal was for this Journey. But at the beginning, I had no idea what I was getting myself in to!

He reminded me to “allow the disintegration” (of the lower/ego/selfish-self), and he recommended that, if I feel I need to, it’s okay to just stop doing my spiritual practices. He explained that sometimes, pushing oneself, only irritates the process and enrages (like adding fuel to a fire) those parts that are having “growing pains”.

This feels right to me, though I do not feel like I need to stop all my practices. I feel like I need to do the ones that feel ok–the physical practices. There have been many days over the past 6 weeks when I have been so comforted and relaxed doing the most mundane things, like laundry, mowing the yard, or dishes.

I have also really been enjoying eating (a very physical thing, though not generally a spiritual practice!). I know that sounds a bit odd, but it wouldn’t if you knew me: I don’t generally enjoy food. I am more utilitarian when it comes to food: I eat for nourishment. But this summer, I have been really enjoying food. And I’ve not given myself a hard time about it–I’ve been letting myself take pleasure in food. I am not sure how this fits with the transition, but I am ok with enjoying this lesson.