As we unite in consciousness with our own Loving Presence, we unite with Divine Mind. Divine Mind is Infinite Being—it is now, here, always. We exist in Divine Mind, as It does in us, united forever—One. It leads us to Itself through our consciousness of our Self: our consciousness of Self, as Infinite Being, is Oneness with Divine Mind, is our Peace, is our wholeness, is our Unity with All.
I feel like something is wrong with me.
Even just acknowledging that is difficult.
It’s just one area of my life. It has to do with accomplishment: what I think I should be doing vs. what I am doing.
There are several projects that I am working on. I think that I should be giving priority to (let’s just call it) project A, but I spend a whole lot of time on project C (or B or D…), which means I don’t “get around to” working on project A.
It’s not that I am lazy, or unproductive. I’m just being productive on something other than project A, that is less meaningful (or so I think).
Project A has been on my plate a long time and has lots of components and things to work on, things to work out. It’s both a bit complicated and time consuming…neither of which is generally prohibitive for me. I like working out complex ideas, and I don’t mind taking the time to do so. In fact, project B is also complicated and time consuming…So, why now, are these factors a point of resistance for project A?
I just can’t seem to get my sh** together to work on project A. I have no motivation. I have no investment. I can’t see the purpose, the long-term. I wonder, “if I do project A, is that not just feeding and rewarding my lower-self, my ego?” Then that becomes prohibitive.
Yet on the other hand…project A is incredibly important in a big picture kind of way. So I wonder, “am I afraid of the impact? am I afraid of how big this is? am I afraid of success? of failure?”
I honestly don’t know.
The other day, I wrote about alignment. Project A was on my mind during that writing. Something is out of alignment. Or so I think. Maybe I just think something is out of alignment, and in reality everything is exactly as it should be.
That describes my entire mental conflict: “I think something is going on, and I feel wrong“….”but maybe it’s not what I think”. And I don’t know which it is.
If something is going on and there is a reason that I feel wrong…then all I need to do is take the steps in the direction of feeling right, which means (pretty simply) working on project A.
And if things are exactly as they should be, then I should just relax. I’ve let this get too far. My mind spins. …and now I feel like something is wrong.
OK. All of this is context for the point I really want to make. There are two big ideas at play and these ideas are relevant to the project A situation and to this Journey. They are:
- Thought is creative
- What you seek you find
(1) Thought is creative both in imaginative (future) content (what informs your mind to work out as “reality”) and in attitude (how you approach content as it comes to you). This is why the daily Guiding Thoughts matter. They give imaginative content that your mind can then align with (create) in your experience, and they offer a framework through which to interpret experiences you are already having. The ultimate goal is to have congruence between the vision and the reality, so that the content you imagine is the content you experience.
Thus, it has concerned me that I have a new thought popping up recently that says, “something is wrong with me”. That is not content I want to either imagine or experience.
(2) What we seek on the Journeys, generally speaking, is Unity, Oneness, Peace through seeking the Truth of our Selves. We can find it precisely because Unity, Oneness, and Peace are the Truth of who we are. Again, this is a role of the Guiding Thoughts–they point you toward the direction that the You of you already knows exists, and It knows you are looking for It, so once you give five minutes a day to looking for It, It can help you find It so much faster and easier. The Journeys guide you to the only real direction there is, and in doing so make it easier for you to both seek and find the Truth of You.
But when someone has thoughts like, “what is wrong with me?” Guess what? A part of that creative mind takes that literally, and starts looking for what is wrong. And make no mistake…if you look for something –whether you mean to or not– you will find it.
And this is why I’ve shared this with you. This project A situation directly opposes the goal of the Journeys on these two points…and I need to change. I need to figure this out. I need get aligned, become congruent, root out the “wrongs”, do whatever it takes to free myself of these thought patterns, the inconsistency, the whatever this is.
Thanks for being here,
Thanks for your support,
Yours in the work,