Infinite Steps to Peel the Onion -Abundance (1.5.31)

Copyright Tam Black 2018
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You’ve made it to Round 4, congratulations!

We are back to using “I” as the subject of the Guiding Thoughts. If you are new to the Journeys, please see this page for information about how and why the rounds change.

Guiding Thought

Divine Love-Light is the Source of All. It is all good, all God. This Source is always seeking expression through me. My awareness of my personal identity as this Source provides me with infinite fulfillment and prosperity.

Sharing

Layers. You’ve heard about this right? …Spiritual growth is like peeling back the layers of an onion: once you get through one layer, it reveals the next layer, then the next layer, then the next, deeper and deeper. Or, maybe…

Spiritual growth is like peeling back the layers of an onion: because you may cry a lot.

Just a bit of humor there. I cry a lot…you gotta have some sense of humor about this stuff.

This is a direction that is inward…which is how I’ve always thought about the onion-analogy. You need “peel” and get through the surface-layers, before you can “peel” the layers underneath and dig deeply into core “issues” (or layers)… Here’s an example from my own life:

When I was a young adult, testing and trying relationships, I was not at all able to communicate my feelings. When someone asked me “how do you feel?”, I froze. I totally shut down. I remember in those youthful relationship experiments, this came up consistently. I would be asked “how do you feel”–and I am sure it came from a loving, caring place, but it felt like I was being asked a question which bombarded me with so much confusion and turmoil that I had no choice but to turn off.  It wasn’t like I meant to; it wasn’t like I was saying to myself, “time to cut this person off now!” My body/mind literally could not move or get past that question.

That was the very surface layer: having virtually no awareness why this was happening, not being able to do anything about it, and not understanding why it was happening.

The next layer was a small bit of self-awareness that if instead  of being asked “how do you feel?”, someone asked, “do you feel…>fill in the blank<?” I was able to acknowledge with “yes” or “no”. I still could not speak (still shut down), but at least I could identify that  I was feeling something, and what it was. This was tedious, but it was better than the previous scenario.

The third layer was, when I was in my mid-twenties, I began doing hard-core emotional work. It was the behavioral barometer that finally moved me into being able to a) self-identify a feeling and b) say the words.

Image result for behavioral barometer

Very briefly: on the right hand side of the barometer are words that correspond with emotional states. There is a process by which to link an emotional state with certain neurological patterns, which “lock” a person in that state, then release those patterns, freeing the mind/body/emotions from being locked.

The fourth layer was, after much Barometer work, I identified a specific situation when I was about 8 years old, in which I felt “unheard”, and in that moment, the pattern that got locked was, “if I’m not heard anyway, I’m just not going to talk”.  After releasing that pattern, I was able to learn to communicate my feelings–and that began peeling even further layers and releasing more emotional “stuckness”.

But that final release of that pattern, in recognizing its source, also did something else: it opened me up to positive growth. Now, I was not only continuing to peel back layers of deeper emotional stuckness, but I was also learning to express myself (the first positive layer), which opened the door to feeling heard and loved (the second positive layer), which opened the door to having more intimacy in relationships (the third positive layer), which opened up the door to even more love and intimacy.

This is how I see it:

If you would know infinity, take a step in every direction. ~ Goethe

There are infinite layers to infinite steps, all of which bring us one step closer to knowing the Source of All. The more steps we take, the more stuckness we can peel back, the more positive steps we can take forward, until we indeed are expressing Infinity through us, as our experience of fulfillment and prosperity.

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