Reflection / Contemplation
If you haven’t noticed, this has been an unusual Journey. First, each reflection has been very short, handwritten on an index card; second, I’ve missed several days– which I have never yet done until this year.
It’s been a bit rough and I am not at all sure why. There’s no logical explanation, and it’s certainly not because I have not been feeling grateful.
I’m not offering an excuse or an explanation, just an observation and acknowledgment.
These Guiding Thoughts stretch the mind, stretch the consciousness. Oneness, Unity, Fulfillment, All-encompassing Love…these are not small things; these are not things that many people think about on a regular basis; these are not easy concepts for the mind to grasp.
Yet these Journeys ask me/you to engage with these concepts daily, deeply, intimately.
Sometimes I’m “not up for it” because my mind is rebelling, being dragged, kicking and screaming into more consistently higher thoughts. I can recognize this immaturity in myself, be my own parent, and insist that I do the Journey. Because that’s the only way I will grow, by doing it beyond the point of ease or comfort. That’s how I stretch and become more.
But this “not up for it” is different, not like anything else I’ve ever experienced. I am motivated, and I do not feel any inner rebellion; so I’m not sure what is preventing me from consistency with this Journey.
I have been feeling like I am integrating, similar to how I feel during Journey of Rest. I just want to relax, and be myself, and allow me to be and to trust that who I am is enough, that the work I do, and have done, is enough, and that life loves me and supports me always, all ways. That’s what all this is about in the first place, isnt it? I mean, yes, its about becoming, but its also about just being.
And if I can’t just be, whats the point in becoming?