Reflection / Contemplation
Yesterday, I noted two unusual characteristics of this Journey. Today, I’d like to expand on my assessment of the underlying psychology, that I think is at least some of the catalyst.
The light of truth is always shining, and it’s always shining on everyone. How people choose to interpret it, and use it, is up to them.
When I began these Journeys 6 years ago, I was very clear that they were for me, as in my own personal exploration of my own enlightenment process. If someone else found something valuable here, so be it, but that was not the intention nor the purpose.
With this, I understood very clearly that as I “do it for myself”, I carve a path that makes it easier for others to follow…and the path that I was carving was for people to explore their own enlightenment process, whether they did it by doing/following the Journeys or not.
Then something shifted in a positive way, when I began to invoke the Oneness that connects all of humanity, and include all 7.5 billion people as benefactors of the energy that I bring to the Journeys on a daily basis. I’ve been doing that for about two years now.
But, I think that in doing that, somehow I fumbled my focus, and the Journeys became more about “them” (those 7.5 billion people) and less about “me”.
Even though cognitively I can affirm “we are One”, and focusing on “them” or “me” does not matter because we are all One, “I” still have a hard time accepting this. The part of me that identifies as “me” is having trouble not being the focal point, the center of attention, the reason for “my” being.
It has resulted in me hitting a proverbial wall. “I” can’t move forward “for you”, but I’ve also lost the meaning, and subsequent altruism that I had associated with, doing it for myself.
How this feels: like I’m starting all over. I have to center, and get clear about why I do these Journeys. I perceive that I have grown in the past 6 years. I do not have nearly the worry, guilt, or anxiety about living up to my own spiritual ideals or expectations; I do not have the scepticism I used to have; I trust the process a whole lot more. And I’m at a completely new place. Further on my evolutionary path, yet a child once again.
I am grateful for the cat who has decided I am his. He is a constant source of entertainment, from pouncing on me as I walk down the hall, to batting my legs when I walk into the kitchen, to grabbing my hand as I lift his bowl to put food in it (every time!), to falling asleep in what looks to be a hamstring stretch: