Last night I came to a decision. Since I missed two more days of Journey of Gratitude over the weekend, I am going to call it a wrap with Journey of Gratitude, at day 35–the last day published.
This is the first time in six years that I have not completed a Journey on time, much less, simply not completed the Journey. It was a big decision, which I do not take lightly. After all, I made a commitment on January 5th, 2019 to complete this Journey.
It’s also a big decision to intentionally decide not to keep a commitment, no matter how small or big. I wonder about the energetic repercussions. I wonder about what this means.
And, yet, I am not dwelling on it. I am forgiving myself and moving on. This is the best decision; I know it in my heart, even if my mind wants to make a big deal about it.
To satisfy my mind, however, I did think about the reasons, which I would like to share with you.
- I was consistently inconsistent. Clearly I struggled with maintaining my daily practice with Journey of Gratitude, not just once, but several times, and not during one particular round. I missed days 5, 13 (which I did, but just realized I never published it), 15, 16, 18, 21… etc. Some days I tried to “make up” the following day, other times, I just let skipped the day. This reminds me of the saying, “Moderation in all things, even moderation”. This is saying, it’s ok to be a little bit radical once in a while, as long as moderation is the norm. So, maybe it’s ok to be inconsistent in some things, as long as consistency is the norm (did I mention this is the first time I’ve not completed a Journey in six years?).
- The struggle became more harmful than beneficial. Sometimes struggle is motivating. Sometimes struggle is a catalyst to push through something, to come out on a new level, a new plane, a new perspective. Sometimes struggle strengthens me. That wasn’t what was happening. I have pushed through enough, been motivated by struggle enough, dug into my crap enough that I know the difference. I felt demotivated and weakened. There was no point where I felt like I had gained ground, there was no break.
- I am happy with what I did accomplish. For the first 21 days, I limited myself to writing on one index card. For those 21 days, I had to feel more deeply to distill the feeling into words. This was intense work. I give myself credit for that. I’ve also been happy with the insights that I have had not only during those first 21 days, but since then.
- I feel like I have arrived at a new place. I cannot quite put my finger in it, but in the past 14 days, I feel like I have received/given a stronger call to action. Something has shifted, and it’s time for something new. Are you ready? Here it is:
I am ready for my next step. This means that someone out there–or several someones out there–are ready for their next step. If this resonates immediately with you, you may be someone I am looking for. If it does not resonate immediately, keep reading and see how it feels…
My next step began in November of 2017. I have been building a platform for people to work with me directly on their own Journeys. In other words, I would act as a guide for others who are interested in their own spiritual growth/ascension. I’ve been building this platform, working out the kinks, thinking about it… then more thinking about it… then more thinking about it.
It’s a big step, and a bit scary.
No not just a bit scary…it’s terrifying. I can feel my trepidation swell in my chest as I write.
So here’s what I am looking for, there are two options:
- I am looking for 1 to 10 people who would like to do a 40 day Journey, with me as their guide. You would be both guinea pig as well as a member of my “development team”. We would work out the details together, but I’m thinking you would receive written input and encouragement, with a few phone calls for processing. Check out the platform here, and if you are interested in Journeying with me as your guide, email me firstname.lastname@example.org, and I will give you free access. The next Journey is Courage, and it begins on Feb. 24. If that is too soon, or you want to do a different Journey, email me and we’ll work something out.
- One person who would like to do a “public” Journey on this site. If you have been reading this blog, you know the deal: one post per day based on your process with the Guiding Thought (plus the Why, plus the commitment/dedication). You would be the lead writer, as a guest on this blog for the Journey. Your voice would be heard, your Journey would be “out there” for other people to follow and learn from; you would take a step into a new role, if you have only ever done the Journeys privately. I would be with you daily, for support and encouragement, and we could phone call to help you process, if you feel like you’d like that. If you are interested, email me email@example.com. The next Journey is Courage, and it begins on Feb. 24. If that is too soon, or you want to do a different Journey, email me and we’ll work something out.
Both of these would be huge for me. If they feel huge to you, perfect! We will be in this together. That’s how this “works”…we may be at different places, but energetically, we are working out similar things. If this feels right to you, email me.
Much love and peace.