I prepare my mind for Peace. I prepare my mind to recognize that above all else, I want the Peace that passeth understanding. Today, I offer only this, in humility, and gratitude to my Divine Self: I am willing to let the Peace of God be what it is and I accept myself as I am meant to be.
Accepting myself as I am meant to be means accepting all of myself, including the parts I don’t like. My inner critic is one of those parts, and I find myself wanting to turn it off, rather than to love it as part of myself. My critic has caused me so much grief. And yet, he/she has served me well at times, and has been there to protect me, and to push me to be my best. And sometimes, that inner critic is simply reflecting some of the things people have said to me in the past, things that hurt, and caused to me to close my heart. Or rather, I closed down because I didn’t know what else to do.
My Divine Self shrugs off these hurts, and I know myself as whole in the Peace of God. It is with gratitude that I accept my entire being, as I was meant to be.
2 thoughts on “Acceptance… Even of the Inner Critic — 02.13.36”
Journey of Peace – Day 36 – Lita
I prepare my mind for Peace. I prepare my mind to recognize above all else…
I think I am getting to the place understanding of the Peace that “passeth all understanding”. Well, a glimpse of it maybe. It has to do with who I am – the “me” who is the constant Divine Me, the Me who exists beyond my stories, beyond my fleeting, changing and developing insights, beyond my self-perception, beyond my day to day experiences and moods.
I find that there is something very humbling about taking off the layers of self-perception, the clouded ones anyway: doubt, limits, and smallness. Maybe this is the actual prep work, this ritual of preparing my mind for Peace, making space for the real me to emerge.
We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.
Through the unknown, remembered gate
When the last of earth left to discover
Is that which was the beginning;
At the source of the longest river
The voice of the hidden waterfall
And the children in the apple-tree
Not known, because not looked for
But heard, half heard, in the stillness
Between the two waves of the sea.
Quick now, here, now, always–
A condition of complete simplicity
(Costing not less than everything)
And all shall be well and
All manner of things shall be well
When the tongues of flame are in-folded
Into the crowned knot of fire
And the fire and the rose are one.
Little Gidding V,
– T.S. Eliot (1943)
Day 36 Peace – Mary
I think that, in every round of this Journey when this comes up, I find myself asking what does it mean to “prepare my mind for Peace”? A very precious friend recorded a song he titled “Peace be With You.” I play this piece at times when I’m most especially not feeling peaceful. It helps me to center, to BE at peace. To me, the idea of “preparing” for peace is somewhat akin to “trying” to pick up a pencil. If you think about it it is impossible to pick up a pencil by “trying”. (Don’t take my word for it, check it out for yourself.) You either pick the pencil up or you don’t. “Trying” to do anything is giving permission to fail before you even “try”.
“Preparing” for Peace strikes me a bit like that. I can get all stressed out preparing for peace. Did I turn the ringer on the phone off? Is my meditation altar too crowded? What did I do with the matches to light the candle and the incense? Is the wick on the candle burning right, or could it trigger the smoke alarm? What if I fall asleep and miss my appointment? See? Preparing for Peace can be stressful and counter-productive. You either ARE the Peace that passeth understanding, or you’re not. And since it passeth understanding, there aren’t words to articulate how to prepare for it, where to find it, or what it feels like. So, if you’re done “preparing”, (I mean when I’m done “preparing”), I discover there’s nothing to do (see Day 33). I accept myself as I am meant to be – letting the Peace of God be in me, without understanding who, what, where, when or how that came to be. I can’t find the words for it, or write the “how-to” book for it, but I don’t need to, Thank God!