Finding Truth -Healing (1.4.31)

Copyright Tam Black 2018
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

Welcome to round 4! It’s the last leg of the Journey–we’ve come so far, and only 10 days to go! If you’ve been doing your own Journey, you will have noticed that with each round, the pronouns change. In round one, the pronouns are “I”, “me”. In round two, the pronoun is “you”. For round three, the pronouns change to “we”, “our”. Now, for round four, we go back to the pronouns “I”, “me”…but you will notice that after the previous two rounds, which focus on others, and on the collective, you (probably) will not feel the same way about “I” anymore. Fun, fun!

I’m proud of you. I’m happy for you–OH what healing we have done! Keep on for just another 10 days. You’ve come too far to stop now!

Guiding Thought

I clear my mind of all past notions of what I think healing is. I erase all memories and stories from my thoughts, leaving only a clean slate. I turn my attention to my Inner Divine Mind and I ask, “What is healing”? I wait and listen in silence; I take my attention deeper into the vastness of Divine Mind and ask again, “What is healing?”, “What is wholeness?”, and “What is holy?” I wait and I listen. Feeling stillness, I simply pause in the quiet and await my answer.

Reflection

First, I’d like to take a step back, and review the past few days…which have been a bit tumultuous for me. Not “bad”, mind you, but stuff has just been coming up.

I read an astrology summary for July a few minutes ago. On July 4th, Chiron went retrograde. Do I really understand what that means…no, but here is the summary of that phenomenon:

When Chiron goes retrograde, healing goes inward. Right now it’s less about seeking help from the outside. It’s more about how you can connect the dots and heal yourself from the inside. Chiron retrograde will help you weave back together the broken parts of the Self and become whole again. The first and foremost step in healing is embracing those parts of you that you despise, those parts of you that you are ashamed of. You cannot heal yourself unless you embrace your broken parts. (astrobutterfly.com)

From ancestral healing, to karma, to just yesterday writing about brokenness…I would say that I am right on target for the universal energetic influences going on “out there”. I love it when something “out there” reflects back to me (validates) how I am experiencing the Journey. You won’t see the same reflections, as you move through your Journey, but you will come across information, situations, or people who speak to you on your Journey.

Onward!

We are back at questioning with an empty slate. I have a new insight about this, and more generally the theme of seeking and finding, which has recurred several times so far on this Journey.

Here is my insight:

Ultimately, healing is of God, and only of God. Archangel Rafael is the Angel of Healing. Rafael means It is only God which Heals or God is the Healer.

One way to think of God as the only healer, is to understand that living according to Divine Will is what keeps us Whole-Holy-Healthy. Yes, God (omnipotent) can heal us from any malady, but more to the point, He doesn’t need to, when we willingly align ourselves with Divine Will.

Too often, however, we want our own will to be done. This is why the prayer “Not my will but Thine” is so prevalent and necessary. We think we know better than God! Silly humans.

Submitting or Surrendering to God’s Will is more about giving up our own will. It’s not that we need to actually do anything to surrender to God. His Will is. Divine Will is the Truth. It is here, now, forever. All we need to do is stop trying to unmake His Will with our own.

The obstacles in our path have to do with our own insistence on trying to change the Truth, trying to make our own small wills big enough to overpower God. Silly Humans.

This is why we get sick. This is the meaning of “disobeying God”. It’s not that He orders us to do anything; it’s that He lives in the Truth, where He wants us to be also, because Truth is Love, and Harmony, and all that Heaven-stuff.

Doing things that are “pleasing to God”, similarly, is not about God actually being pleased: He is Loves His children always with all our foibles. Pleasing God is simply about doing the things that will make us happy (which makes Him happy), so that we can live Whole-Holy-Healthy lives. Pleasing God is easy, because what is pleasing to God is living in the Truth. We cannot not live in the Truth, but we try to; we try to live in a truth that we construct for ourselves…and that is why we struggle. That is why life “is hard”. That is why there is so much misery. We fight the Truth. If we only surrendered to the Truth, surrendered to Love, surrendered to Divine Will, we would Know ourselves as the Whole-Holy-Healthy beings we were created to be.

You see?

So, all of the seeking is really about surrender. It’s about looking hither and yon and over hill and dale and up rivers and down…until we tire ourselves out, and in complete exhaustion we fall at the feet of our Father and say, “I have no answers. You have the answers. I want your answers, because I have searched everywhere for my own, and found nothing”.

I do this over and over and over. Is this insanity? Maybe. But, each time I arrive at the feet of my Father, I give up more of my lower-self. The seeking “breaks” me, so that He may rebuild me.

How many times do I need to break, to be rebuilt? How many times do I return to the insanity of my lower-self and think I can find my own answers?

For me at least, I feel assured in seeking only for Him…to the best of my ability. I still have lower-human attachments, conflicts, desires, needs. But…I’m human. With every surrender, more of my lower-self is destroyed, to be re-built in a way that will live in accordance with His Will.

These are my steps. Allowing myself to be broken is part of my Journey. Knowing He will rebuild me better than I was before is part of my Journey. This is why I seek. This is why I seek Him. Maybe there will come a final day, when I have exhausted myself so completely, I no longer choose to return to trying to find my own answers. When I do, I will simply step into the Truth that is already there, waiting for me to find It.

Join the Sun and Sky -Healing (1.4.29)

Copyright Tam Black 2018
Designed for susanwithpearls.com
Guiding Thought

We are the Light of Love. Light saturates our minds and bodies, surrounding every thought, and radiating out to All. Everything radiates Light in return. Everywhere is Light. We rest in Peace, Being Light.

Reflection

Oh happy day. Thank you, thank you for this Guiding Thought!

Enough of the muck. Enough of the heavy pants weighing me down. Everywhere is Light!

I picture this to mean both visually and weight-wise, Light like a helium balloon, floating!

I needed this today, this Lightness

I’ve been going through some “stuff” the past few days, not “bad” stuff–I’ve really felt basically fine, but there has been just the slightest dip, like driving on a country road in the wee hours of the morning, with a slight chill in the air… the sun is rising, so the sky is beautiful, and the light is beginning to shine forth… then the road takes a turn and goes down a slight incline (a depression, if you will), and in that slightly lower altitude, a fog has settled. Still driving along, the sun is still rising, even burning away the fog as the car moves through the depression, but for that moment… there’s a change in the air, the slightest bit of realizing the sun is not so warm or bright in the fog, but that it’s still up ahead. Then the road takes an upward movement, upwardly inclined, again joining the sun and sky.

With my face to the sun, the light literally saturates my mind and body.

Yes. Thank you.

 

Dropping Patterns, Clearing Karma -Healing (1.4.28)

Copyright Tam Black 2018
Designed for susanwithpearls.com
Guiding Thought

Today we decide to be aware of our Whole and Holy Self working within us, expressing through us. As we move through the affairs of our lives, with open minds and empty hands, we look first to our Whole and Holy Self for guidance. Our only decision today is to be aware of our Whole and Holy Self—all other decisions arise out of this, in conjunction with our Self.

Reflection

Remember, obstacles are part of change and change is the law of nature. If you react, then the obstacle becomes larger. If you observe, pure observation, then the obstacle passes, as quickly as it was created.

As for serious problems. Consider these problems as opportunities for growth. Change is not easy. The ego rejects change, yet change is the law, change is the real. Obstacles to the higher path are many. That is why few arrive. If obstacles are non-existent then the ego will create them. Understand? Your ego is creating obstacles. Maya creating maya.

~Haidakhan Baba

I’ve been falling apart the past couple of days. At least as far as the Journey is going–my deep introspection, and working out my stuff.

I’ve been thinking a lot about karma lately, because I have been experiencing stuff that does not have an immediate cause. It’s just kind of coming up. 

I’ve had a lot of really good reminders to keep me on track, though. First (obviously), the Guiding Thoughts. I’ve been pretty focused to day on my Whole/Holy Self, so that has been keeping my feet on the path, and preventing my mind from straying (my mind has done a lot of straying over the past 48 hours).

Second, a friend of mine was describing another friend, who has been on the path of the Higher Self for about 40 years (about 15 years longer than I have). This person, apparently is able to just shift out of an emotional pattern/habit in a second. She is, literally, able to simply drop whatever the pattern/habit is that comes up for her, and walk away from it. wow.

I often think about people who are “further along” than I am, and I admire what they are able to do, that I can’t yet do. I feel very inspired, because I know how far I’ve come in 25 years. Looking to them assures me that I will go even further in the next 25 years. This work compounds, after all. Once you have the momentum, just a tiny effort keeps that momentum, and you can use more energy to clearing away even more and more.

Clearing away. Oh, yeah! That’s the point I wanted to make about karma. Karma gets cleared away. It really does. There are actual things a person can do to evaporate karma. I’ve sort of known this for a while– doing bathing, breathing, fasting, praying, mantra…all that stuff does it. But finally, I think, I’ve gotten to a point where I’ve done so much (and added more) stuff that is clearing, that I can feel (and see) it moving out. This is still new, but it’s an actual experience, something I can watch as I am going through it and releasing it. And I gotta tell you, it’s really cool. Now I want to dive in to this as an experiment and see what more I can do to have tangible experiences of clearing karma. Stay tuned…

Third, the above quote by Haidakhan Baba was a wake-up reminder, especially the last line: Your ego is creating obstacles. Maya creating maya. I knew this at one point, it seems like a long, long time ago. I remember specifically having a conversation with my dear BuddhaBrad who said this exact thing to me, in Buddha terms. It was basically, “The mind does not like things to be easy. The mind likes to struggle. So, when things are going along smoothly, the mind says, ‘wait a minute…something’s wrong; this is too easy. I need to jump in here and perceive a problem somewhere just so I can be comfortable again'”.

This goes right along with the karma thing. While releasing some karma, we also create it. All action has a re-action. That is basically the law of karma. Being free of karma means No action. But as long as we have a body, and are not transcended beings, we are acting, and creating re-actions. This means mentally, emotionally, physically.

This is why it’s in our best interest a) to take “good”, “positive” actions, so that the re-action is “good”, “positive”. b) Do the best we can to observe actions as they happen, rather than re-acting. When we simply observe, we break the pattern. Think of actions as a ping-pong being hit back and forth across a table. We are the players, the ball, and the observer. If we become only the observer, and stop being at least one of the players, the ball stops going back and forth.

 

 

Every Day a Better Day -Healing (1.4.25)

Copyright Tam Black 2018
Designed for susanwithpearls.com
Guiding Thought

Our own Loving Presence is our personal connection with Divine Mind. Attuned to our own Loving Presence, we Know ourselves as Whole and Holy. As we feel our Inner Unity, we know: this is all we want; we have found all we seek.

Reflection

Between 2005 and 2013 I studied A Course in Miracles pretty intensely. I don’t mean that I stopped at doing the daily lessons. I did those, then I read the text, took notes and wrote…and wrote…and wrote. That was before I was doing the Journeys. In a way, at least a portion of these Journeys grew out of that study. Part of what I wanted (and still want) to do with the Journeys is to do a cross-reference research project for a bunch of the themes in ACIM, to answer questions like, “How does purpose relate to atonement“? or “How does atonement relate to forgiveness“? or “How does forgiveness relate to healing“? or “How does healing relate to purpose“? You see how nicely that would fit within the framework of the Journeys? Everything is interconnected; each “theme” gives insight into other “themes” and those links bring greater understanding to both those themes and all others.

I had the good fortune at that time of having a flexible job schedule, and often did not have to be out of the house until 10 or 11 am. I would read-study-write from 5 or 6 am until 9 or 10. I would be completely absorbed, completely focused, never getting tired, but rather getting energized. I remember often thinking, “This is all I want; this is all I want to do”.

That feeling, “this is all I want; this is all I want to do” has recurred in my life more broadly with spiritual practices, and spiritual writing and studying.

As with a lot of spiritual practices, like meditation, the practices connect a person to their Loving Presence, their link to Divine Mine, their link to their own Inner Divine.

It’s a great place to hang out, there, with your own Loving Presence. It’s a high, really. I was thinking earlier today that it’s sort of like the runners high: you have to push through certain mental (chemical-hormonal-energetic) barriers, but once you get into “the zone” it feels amazing and you can just coast for hours, and the high carries you through other parts of your day and life.

Another similarity with running is that, like an endorphin high, the spiritual high eventually wears off. We go out into the world, where there is drama, among people who do not connect with their Loving Presence, who don’t and can’t understand wholeness, unity, compassion…so we end up not only losing the high, but expending more energy to protect ourselves from an onslaught of other people’s emotional energy. It’s a good day when I don’t get sucked down; it’s a better day when I can not only maintain my own Inner Harmony, but can also share it with others–where I can actually perceive that their energy is lifted and lightened through our interaction.

believe that we–all people– are headed to a time when the high does not wear off and every day is a better day. I think that the intense emotional energy in the world right now is a mass purging. All the crap is coming to the surface, so that it can go away for good.

More people are meditating. More people are doing spiritual practices. More people are realizing that it’s a great place to be, connected with Love, connected with others through Love.

What takes you to your zone? What are the practices that you do that take you to the place where you say, “This is all I want”? If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. It’s there, waiting for you.

Crappity crap crap crap. -Healing (1.4.23)

Copyright Tam Black 2018
Designed for susanwithpearls.com
Guiding Thought

We rely on our own Loving Presence to lead and guide us toward the meaning of healing. Seeking the meaning of healing frames all our activity and gives context to all our interactions. Though we may encounter disturbances throughout our daily activity, we lay them at the feet of our own Loving Presence and continue to ask, “What is healing”? Our own Loving Presence directs us as we listen in the stillness.

Reflection

Cleansing. Purging. Clearing. Letting go. Shifting. Transmuting.

Seeking the meaning of healing frames all our activity and gives context to all our interactions is currently very very true for me.

It seems everything recently is coming up for healing. Anxiety. Trust-issues. Faith-issues. Feeling betrayed issues. Anger at myself for a particular passivity in my past. Feeling responsible, and thinking of times when I was irresponsible. Unworthy stuff. “What am I supposed to do” stuff. Anger at others for not living up to my expectations (even after I lowered my expectations). Fear of disappointment that someone else will not live up to my expectations. Inadequacy. Feeling like “I’m not doing it right”…and more!

I said to Tam earlier today, after urgently insisting that something had to be done now“I’ve got a stick up my ass today and I don’t know why”. It’s important to be able to communicate to some degree about the crap going on, so that there is no mis-communication or risk of mis-perception. I sort of knew why I was in a funk…read the above paragraph. But that was too much to deal with and have a stick up my ass. Fortunately, Tam and I understand each other when these things happen (whew).

feel like I’ve been letting go of a lot of unseen/unknown energies. Maybe karma. Maybe energetic stuff that has been trapped in my energy body. Maybe Ancestral stuff–I just re-posted an article on ancestral healing –whoa, I hadn’t even thought of that, until the article crossed my path…but it makes so much sense (and now I really want to do these meditations). Maybe just crap that has been hiding in deeper nooks and crannies.

Whatever you think in all levels of mind will determine all the various energies you draw into your systems and bodies. The darkness in your unknown mind still draws darkness to you. Therefore go into all the darknesses of your minds and release and transform it all into its inherent Light, Color, Sound, and Love. Then only will you be blessed with Internal Peace, Happiness, and ever-expanding stability. ~Joseph Barry Martin

It’s up to me to find those darknesses and clear them. It’s up to me to want to heal more deeply…and more deeply…and more deeply…until there is no more darkness.

Part of how I think about healing is exactly about A) the interconnectedness of All, and B) that there are deeper and deeper layers (nooks and crannies) to heal.

I am never healing just myself. Nothing that comes up is ever “just mine”. Everything everyone does is connected to All. Leigh says it really well in the ancestral healing article:

In a big wave of realization I felt the clearing I’ve been doing reaching down through the ancestral lines and then flowing back to heal people I don’t even know but am related to in the present…In the notion of one big web of energy, these family ties show how deeply we really are connected.  So imagine working on clearing your ancestral lineages of fear and negative beliefs and then that your clearing is energetically impacting millions of others.  Imagine a whole bunch of us doing this clearing can help to heal fear for millions upon millions of people.

We’ve got our work cut out for us. Thank you for the healing work that you contribute to All. I have so much love and appreciation for you, out there, on this path, on your own path, doing the work. ❤

 

Dicrysahe -Healing (1.4.22)

Copyright Tam Black 2018
Designed for susanwithpearls.com
Guiding Thought

We go deep within our inner stillness, and feel Divine Mind’s presence within. We hold out our empty hands, symbolic of leaving preconceptions behind; symbolic of seeking True answers, and ask, “What is the essence of healing?” These words resonate within us, as though in a vast cavern.  The word essence reverberates with these thoughts, “For what do we care most deeply?”; “What is our  essence?”; “What is our Truth?”; “Where is our deepest hurt, pain, and sorrow, that all may be healed?”

Reflection

Mantras are most powerful when energetically spoken silently within your Diamond Crystal Sacred Heart. ~Joseph Barry Martin

Meditation teachers generally say there are three ways to repeat mantras:

  1. Out loud (known as Vaikhari Japa). This way accustoms a person to the pronunciation and tones, and serves to calm the mind. In this method, the sound becomes externalized. For many people, especially beginners, this makes it easier to focus on the sound and its energy.
  2. Whispered inaudibly, with the breath merely passing over the lips (known as Upamsu Japa). The sound remains internal, yet the brain and body are engaged in the motion of making words. This requires a bit more concentration and focus, since there is no actual sound to bring the brain back when it starts to wander. The mind must be responsible for the brain, and keep it focused.
  3. Silently (known as Manasika Japa). This is generally understood as a mental practice; the mantra is simply repeated silently, which is said to require much focus, attention, and concentration.

Please note that this summary is not advocating that one way is “more powerful” than another way. You will find writings that say the first is most powerful, and the third the least powerful (as in the Chaitanya Bhagavata story, which says Vaikhari is 100 times superior to Manasika), and you will find writings that say Manasika is more powerful than Vaikhari (as in the Hari-bhakti-vilasa). I suggest you try them for yourself, and see what works for you, depending on your own goals and intentions. (Also, another form of japa that is not relevant here, but worth mentioning is Likhita Japa. This is when a person writes a mantra repeatedly.)

I have tried all three.  Personally, I like Manasika Japa the best. When I am doing japa, I focus my attention between my eyebrows, where I hold a picture of the energetic representation of the mantra. So, for example, if I am doing Om Namah Shivaya japa, I hold a picture of either Shiva or Babaji at my forehead; if I am doing Om hang Hanumate Rudratmakaye hung phat mantra, I have a picture of Hanuman in my imagination between my eyebrows.

This morning, I was reading a book by Joseph Barry Martin and came across the quote at the top. Today, while doing my japa, I changed my style. Instead of using my mind/brain to imagine an energetic representation while focusing on the words, I moved my focus to my heart area and concentrated on “hearing” the energy through my heart.

It was intense. I would like to officially add a fourth method of doing japa. I call it Dicrysahe- Diamond Crystal Sacred Heart 😉  -and it means feeling the energy of the words through the heart.

Why does this matter for the Journey today?

  1. Because when doing japa via Dicrysahe, I found there to be this resonance (as though in a vast cavern). It felt literally like a magnified pulse emanating from my chest.
  2. It felt like it was a very direct experience of the sound, without the sound. After all, sound is simply vibration; if I can feel the vibration in my body instead of hearing it, it’s the same energy but a different experience of it–visceral and without a brain-interpretation.
  3. I felt like I had a new grasp of my inner stillness, and could feel Divine Mind’s presence within. I admit, I have a hard time with stillness (until now…). Stillness, traditionally means something like “calming the monkey mind”. In order to get to stillness, one must pass through the mind, which is always in chaos–that’s why there’s meditation–to calm the mind and get to stillness. But Dicrysahe completely bypasses the mind. Instead of having a battle in the brain between what to focus on (the chaotic thoughts, or the calming ones), Dicrysahe changes fields, where no battle exists, because there is no mind, because everything happens in the heart.
  4. When I did the Guiding Thought with Dicrysahethere was a similar more direct experience of the Guiding Thought. It was more difficult than with a mantra, because with a mantra there is repetition of sound and syllables, and with the Guiding Thought I really had to focus on the energy, rather than the words. But it felt solid and pervading.

This is all new. Pretty cool, huh? Try it. Let me know what you think.

 

 

Yoke of Light -Healing (1.4.19)

Copyright Tam Black 2018
Designed for susanwithpearls.com
Guiding Thought

You are the Light of Love. Light saturates your mind and body, surrounding every thought, and radiating out to All. Everything radiates Light in return. Everywhere is Light. Rest in Peace, in Being Light.

Reflection

“Rest in peace” is a blessing for the living, not the dead, because rest comes from waking, not from sleeping. Sleep is withdrawing; waking is joining. (A Course in Miracles)

Do not underestimate your power.

“your” power.

it’s not really “yours”, is it?

Do not underestimate the You of you.

Do not underestimate the power of Love and Light.

Yes, you are “just one person”.

So, what can you do?

You can be.

You can be who you are.

Do not underestimate who you are.

Do you know who you are? Do you know the depth, beauty, power, of You?

If you do not have an inkling, the tiniest bit of awareness or understanding of the enormity of Love and Light that is You,

then you are asleep, withdrawn from All that You Are.

But there is a part of you that does have this inkling. There is a part of you that nudges you, pushes you when It can,

to be more of Who You Are.

to be It.

You know this.

You are not asleep.

But neither are you awake.

Yet.

Remember that “yoke” means “join together,” and “burden” means “message.” Let us restate “My yoke is easy and my burden light” in this way; “Let us join together, for my message is light.” (A Course in Miracles)