Commitment and Dedication- Worth (1.3.00)

Here it is, the moment of truth. This is where you get to be really honest with yourself about what you want out of this Journey, and what you want to put into it.

This means sit, be still, quiet your mind, and think about who you are in the world and who you want to become. Think about what barriers you may have to recognizing your highest self-worth that you want to release; think about what beautiful, wonderful qualities you have that you want to embrace. What are you willing to do to work toward that? How much time, realistically, do you want to spend?

If all you can do is read my post every day, that’s enough…for now, but don’t let yourself think just reading my post is getting you somewhere. At some point, you need to do your own work, even if it’s just two or three minutes each day. Read the Guiding Thought with intention, call forth your will for your own evolution, and write; a minute or two is all it takes. One day, there will be a spark, the light will shine through, you will motivate naturally.  Your interest and effort will grow from there!

Commitment:

I commit to a daily practice of Guiding Thoughts (contemplation) and writing for 40 consecutive days, for at least twenty minutes. I commit to opening my awareness, developing my understanding, and accepting (allowing) my Knowing of the Truth of my Self and my worth. I commit to these actions. I commit to turning inward with sincerity and earnestness. All I am is now. May the Truth of Self be revealed. May I be my highest worth, infinitely and eternally, in service to all.

Dedication:

I dedicate this Journey to all. May we all come to Know the activity of Infinite Love within us as our united purpose, that we may extend and share it through all our words, thoughts, and actions to all, everywhere.

The Thick of It (no longer in). Worth- (1.3.4)

Copyright Tam Black 2018
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

Guiding Thought

My worth is inestimable, beyond compare!

I always know I have everything to give—thus, I may always give freely! I know my worth, I give it; I give freely, and I Know in the giving!

As I give, I learn, allowing Joy and Peace to lead and to guide me. I follow willingly for I know: Where there is Joy and Peace, there is Love; where there is Love, I Am; where I Am, I am giving my inestimable worth.

Reflection

I feel my mental space cluttered. I feel it. I felt it beginning to happen, starting yesterday around noon. I felt the thoughts begin to crowd my head. I am aware of this!

It’s kind of a new place for me. It’s very interesting. It’s like I am watching something happen from the beginning, that prior to now, I had only been able to be aware of when I was smack in the middle of it.

Here it is, in a nutshell:

Certain thoughts (let’s call them “fear”, “anxiety”, “turmoil”) bring about a corresponding experience.

During this time, I was as I described: smack in the middle of it. I could see nothing else, other than the need to shift my thoughts, to protect the sacred part of my mind. In other words, I got no relief. It was a constant effort to keep my mind consistent with Love, consistent with Good Will.

For about 6 years I worked (really worked) at shifting those thoughts as they pertained to one area of my life (spilling over into other areas as well). As I said, it was constant.

Then, something lifted.

For the past 10 months or so, I’ve been free of them, and my mental space opened up. For the past 10 months or so, I have been having a new mental experience. I smile more now. I am (even more) optimistic now. Heading those thoughts off changes my experience.

More than changing my experience, it changed my mental space.

I only know this now, because in the past 24 hours or so, I’ve been noticing some of the same thoughts that I fended off for 6 years. They’ve come back. Now that I have been without them for 10 months I can see them like never before. Instead of being in the thick of the thoughts. I have the perspective of clarity, of a mind without those thoughts. The mind without those thoughts is looking at those thoughts thinking, “Oh, No. You are not welcome here.” The Guiding Thought from Journey of Purpose has been rolling around in my head: Today, my only responsibility is to protect My Own Loving Presence from thoughts that block Its flow. If I feel uncertain, I remember my Source; if I feel weak, I remember my Inner Flow; if I feel doubt, I assure myself of my Inner Knowing and I am free.

Two things are interesting to me about all this. First, I’ve not handled my awareness of these imposing thoughts very well. I have not fended them off with the same ferocity and intensity that I did for 6 years. That has lead to them growing, becoming stronger–which is a whole ‘nother level of awareness.

Second, the reason that I have not fended them off as quickly, is because I feel like “I don’t know how” (yes, I know how crazy that sounds)…which has brought up feelings of helplessness, as though I am a victim of my own mind.

All the while, there is the part of my mind that has been clear for 10 months watching all this, and wondering what I am going to do to stop my mind from spiraling. It’s there simultaneously shaking its head in disbelief, while also saying, “c’mon, you can do it, you know how“.

I know it’s right. I just have to do it. 

 

Hook. Line. Sinker- Worth (1.3.2)

Copyright Tam Black 2018
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

Guiding Thought

I love myself for the Truth within me. The Truth within me Knows me for who I am—Pure Love, Only Love, beyond all valuing of the world. In Love all are equal, for we are One. This is how Truth Knows me—Pure, One, and Free. This is my Truth; this is our Truth; this is the Self I love.

Reflection

do love myself for the Truth within me! I can feel that in my heart, radiating outward, and I can feel it deeply in the fibers of my muscles, in the marrow of my bones.

There was a period of time when I was doing a lot of physical-emotional work; the language we used in one of the processes was, “Where do you feel that (anger-guilt-sorrow-etc) in your body?” The body holds onto those emotions and as we feel something, the body reacts to the feeling. At the time, I had a lot of subconscious anger–the kind just under the surface: seething, fuming–that is hard to put a finger on consciously. But when prompted, I could identify where the anger was located in my body (bicep to bicep, right across the chest…), and work through it from its physical side, instead of relying on my brain to figure it out.

It occurs to me that in that work, we never did the flip-side; we never asked where joy or peace or motivation or enthusiasm was located. Now I am doing it, and now I have something new to pay attention to!

This Guiding Thought is a little sneaky. Do you see it?

It starts with the hook, the feel-good moment, “I love myself for the Truth within me”–you can see from my first line that I swallowed it. Who could be opposed to that? If it stopped at simply, “I love myself”, some people could object; the little voices of self-negation, self-loathing, self-hating, would be able to object. But those voices can’t object to “I love myself for the Truth within me“. Someone might be able to deny the Truth within them…temporarily, which would lead to disagreeing with this statement. But anyone doing this work recognizes the Truth within them to some degree–and wants to love themselves! Gotcha. Hook, line, sinker.

Then, instead of going into more about loving myself, it goes into how the Truth within me sees (Knows) me. Pure Love. Only Love. Beyond all valuing of the world. And this feels so good. By what standards can the world judge Pure Love? The Truth of who I Am is so much bigger than anyone or anything in and of the world will ever understand. Finally. Someone sees me for me.

Then this feeling, this Self-valuing gets extended to everyone. This is the check on any narcissistic, selfish, little-self propensities.  In Love all are equal, for we are One. I love myself for the Truth within me, and I love you for that same Truth.

The last line is what I was referring to as being a “sneaky”. This is my Truth; this is our Truth; this is the Self I love. It starts saying “I love myself for the Truth within me”, referring to the little self, capturing the attention of the ego, drawing it in, giving it a boost of the attention of love. Then in the last line >kaboom!< it’s not the little self at all; the Self I love is the only Self I AMthe Self of Pure Love.

But by the time I get to the last line, my little self is already invested: I do love myself for the Truth within me! I can feel that in my heart, radiating outward, and I can feel it deeply in the fibers of my muscles, in the marrow of my bones. 

Even the little self wants Pure Love, the Truth of itself.

From A Course in Miracles, with my insertions in parenthesis, and my emphasis in bold:

There is no living thing (even the little self) that does not share the universal Will that it be whole, and that you do not leave its call unheard. Without your answer is it left to die, as it is saved from death when you have heard its calling as the ancient call to life, and understood that it is but your own. The Christ in you remembers God with all the certainty with which He knows His Love. But only if His Son is innocent can He be Love (and this is why we have a little self in the first place: feelings of guilt have usurped our natural Pure Love, and we be believe in our guilt more than our Love). For God were fear indeed if he whom He created innocent could be a slave to guilt. God’s perfect Son remembers his creation. But in guilt he has forgotten what he really is.

 

Why A Journey of Worth (1.3.0)

Greetings, and welcome to the first day of Journey of Worth! Whether you are here for the long-haul, or just stopping by, I am glad you are here. Perhaps something within you is beckoning to you to seek/find your greatest worth and its expression?

For those of you who are new here, this is a Consciousness Journey: a way to communicate with your Inner Divine Self, to gain deeper connection with your Highest Self, your Divine Self, and thereby enrich your relationship with God. This is done through a series of contemplation exercises (40 days!).

The Journeys are not rooted in any religious tradition; the idea is to connect with God through you, through yourself–your mind, heart, and will, however, whatever, God is to you. I have kept the Guiding Thoughts non-specific (non-religious) in this regard, but feel free to substitute words that you like better (for example, if you don’t like when I use “Inner Divine Self”, you might use “best self”, or “highest self”)–what matters is that the words pull you toward your “best self”.

Today we begin with a little reflection about why we want to contemplate worth for 40 days. 40 days is a long time…might as well start with some clarity, don’t you think?

What follows is my own reflection. Pull out your journal to write, or get some crayons to draw, and spend some time reflecting on worth. What is self worth? What defines it? How does a person express it? Do you have it? How can you get more of it? Etc.

Ready? Here we go!

Reflection

Yesterday I wrote a bit about finding purpose (from the previous Journey) in strengthening my relationship with the Holy Spirit. Now, this purpose is a foundation stone to this Journey: my relationship with the Holy Spirit is key to understanding my worth, and increasing my awareness of it.

Here is how this realization happened for me: I am constantly working on uniting my will with God’s will–I’ve gone through lots of phases/stages/levels, including issues of trust, submission, letting go, faith, courage, etc.

As I was better-acquainting myself with the Holy Spirit during the last Journey, I more-or-less had a feeling/understanding that working with the Holy Spirit was another level of cooperating with Divine Will. It was as though I had passed through all of the tension-fear-uncertainty of “submitting” and “letting go” and I had entered the phase beyond those–where trust is the fact, not an issue to be worked through.

I’ve been praying to and thinking about the Holy Spirit fairly regularly on a daily basis, increasingly for about 6 months (so, yes, Journey of Purpose began with some momentum in this regard).

Just a few days ago, I was musing about my life, what I wanted from it, where I want to go, while also connecting my mind/heart with the Holy Spirit. All of the sudden, out of the blue, I thought, “I want a life worthy of You (meaning the Holy Spirit)”. Immediately, of course, the word “worthy” caught my attention because I knew I would be starting this Journey.

So, I thought about that. What does it mean to have a life that is worthy of the Holy Spirit? What does that look like? How do I do that? I realized that having a life that is worthy of the Holy Spirit is the only kind of life worth having. And that kind of life is the only life worthy of me.

So there it is: Why a Journey of Worth? To expand my consciousness that I might live a life worthy of the Holy Spirit and my Self, through myself.

Thank you for being here. I look forward to the Journey with you. Love to you…

 

Afterword (Purpose 1.2.41)

In a matter of days prior to beginning Journey of Purpose, I went from being confident and self-assured about my purpose, to having no clue; so I intentionally began Journey of Purpose, with a clean slate. A slate that was ripe for discovery.

Throughout the Journey, I could feel the deep, inner-workings of my sub-conscious that I had become more familiar with during Journey of the Heart. The information (if you want to call it that) came to me as vague proddings, intuition, a “sense”, a feeling.

I never felt lost or doubtful, but neither would I have been able to explain where my heart was directing me, in regards to my purpose.

More and more, I believe that the big question, “why am I here, what is my purpose” is answered in levels, or tiers. I am not ready to know the big answer. But I am ready to know this level of it.

For me, what this means is that the assessment of Journey of Purpose is the lead-in to Journey of Worth. My current purpose is a primary building block to Journey of Worth, just as connecting with my heart was a primary building block to Journey of Purpose.

With that in mind, now after my little rest between Journeys, I can tell you where my current purpose lies.

Throughout Journey of Purpose, I was lead repeatedly to the theme of the Holy Spirit (see  36 – 33312417).

My current purpose, thus, is:

to gain a new understanding of the role the Holy Spirit plays in my life, and wanting/seeking to enrich that relationship through frequent invoking  of and prayer to the Holy Spirit.

In some ways, I am using the term Holy Spirit as it is used in Catholicism, or Orthodox Christianity: It is part of the triune God–Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. But for me, even being raised Catholic, I can’t say that I ever really understood the Holy Spirit in that capacity, or what its (his? her?) role is.

That is one reason to focus on this as my current purpose.

I have recently developed a broader/deeper understanding (but still barely scratching the surface) of the role of the Holy Spirit.

Here are some highlights:

  • The Holy Spirit understands both God, and me (Infinite-eternal and immediate-particular).
  • The Holy Spirit is the bridge to the Infinite-eternal as the immediate-particular (me). Embodying the Holy Spirit is the answer to, “how do I be my Divine Self”.
  • The Holy Spirit is in constant communication with me, and wants to bring me home to my Divine Self.
  • The Holy Spirit is the key to uniting my will with God’s will

Here is the Catholic prayer to the Holy Spirit, that I have adapted, and have been using daily:

Oh Heavenly Comforter, Spirit of Truth who art everywhere present and fillest all things, Treasury of Good Things, and Giver of Life,

Come and dwell in me,

Cleanse me of impurity,

Direct all my thoughts, words, feelings and actions, now and unto my eternal ascension into the light

Teach me salvation, that I might be a savior to the world.

I mentioned above that all of this is a building block for Journey of Worth. Tomorrow, we begin! and I will share with you the link between this, my current purpose, and the next Journey, Worth.

I look forward to being with you tomorrow, and for the next 43 days!

Blessings to you.

Life-affirming (Purpose 1.2.37)

Copyright Tam Black 2018
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

Guiding Thought

Of myself I am nothing, yet in union with My Inner Divine Mind, through My Own Loving Presence, I am everything and have everything. As I infuse my consciousness with Knowledge of my Inner Divine Mind, my activity expresses this Union and I experience life. I breathe in this life. I smile with Joy and gratitude, and I affirm: I LIVE.

Sharing

Happy Easter! Today people all over the world celebrate Jesus’ resurrection. The Gospels tell us that Jesus was able to raise people from the dead, most well-known is Lazarus. That is the only story I knew about, growing up as a Catholic. I’ve been reading the Aquarian Gospel of Jesus Christ, and in it, there are many more stories about Jesus bringing people back from the dead. He was practicing. He was practicing so he could raise himself from the dead, so that he could show humanity how to defeat death.

I am your resurrection and your life. You live in me because you live in God. And Everyone lives in you as you live in everyoneResurrection must compel your allegiance gladly because it is the symbol of joy. Its whole compelling power lies in the fact that it represents what you want to be…Teach not that I died in vain. Teach rather that I did not die by demonstrating that I live in you. (A Course in Miracles)

The resurrection celebrates life. The resurrection affirms life.

One does not need to be Christian, nor to believe in the resurrection to celebrate and affirm life.

Take just a moment and join with the energy of the day: breathe in this life. Smile with Joy and gratitude, and affirm: I LIVE. Let the beautiful energy of life permeate and surround you! Enjoy living.

 

Vigilance (Purpose 1.2.36)

Copyright Tam Black 2018
Designed for susanwithpearls.com

Guiding Thought

Today I relax with confidence in the activity of my Inner Divine Mind. I allow It to express Its True Nature of all-sufficiency and all-supply in my life and affairs. Today, my only responsibility is to protect My Own Loving Presence from thoughts that block Its flow. If I feel uncertain, I remember my Source; if I feel weak, I remember my Inner Flow; if I feel doubt, I assure myself of my Inner Knowing and I am free.

Sharing

The wholeness of the Kingdom does not depend on your perception, but your awareness of its wholeness does. It is only your awareness that needs protection, since being cannot be assailed. Yet a real sense of being cannot be yours while you are doubtful of what you are. This is why vigilance is essential. Doubts about being must not enter your mind, or you cannot know what you are with certainty. Certainty is of God for you. Vigilance is not necessary for truth, but it is necessary against illusions. (A Course in Miracles, Chapter 6)

Vigilance is essential in doing inner work. It serves two purposes:

  1. Protection
  2. Constancy

The first, protection, is necessary as long as your little self objects to you becoming and being your True Self. The symptoms of this show up as doubts, fears, loss of confidence, weakness–those things addressed in the Guiding Thought.

Maintaining vigilance against those things weakens the little self, and strengthens the True Self (which does not actually need strengthening, only your awareness of it and confidence in it does).

Protection can come in different forms. First, you can just be aware of your thoughts, and as weak or doubtful thoughts arise, notice them, and let them go. Second, you can proactively change your thoughts: write down any “negative” thoughts that you can find in your mind; write until you can’t think of any more. Then go back through those thoughts and next to, or beside them, write new thoughts that are positive, that demonstrate confidence and assurance. Finally, you can also proactively do prayers or mantra throughout the day. Mantra means “mind protection”. Use any loving, kind, positive thought, and just repeat it in your mind all the time (as much as you can); it’s sort of like having a song stuck in your head, but it’s a song you choose, and one with lyrics that will (literally) change your mind.

The second, constancy, is necessary as a demonstration to God, to your higher self, to the Holy Spirit that you are serious about your seeking, your journey, about really reaching up to and out to God.

Having faith means being faithful. Being faithful means being dependable, reliable. We are God’s heart-head-hands on earth. He needs to be able to rely on us as we walk through life to be in-tune with what He needs us to do. He needs to be able to count on us, so we need to show him He can.

Vigilance in this sense means more like a state of vigilancea state of readiness, alert, aware. Sometimes it’s very simple things that demonstrate our vigilance: a kind word to a cashier (honoring another human being), letting a car in to the flow of traffic (acts of kindness without getting anything back), feeding the birds (honor and respect for all life).

God is in every action and interaction; vigilance demonstrates your awareness of that.